Solange Lopes

The Summer Ceiling for Working Moms is Real

by Solange Lopes | Aug 1, 2023 | Working Mom & Woman Tips

Picture it, America, 2023 (in my best Golden Girls’ Sophia Petrillo voice)…

It’s summertime… Just picture the working mom waiting to pick up her kids from camp while mentally reminding herself to mute the impromptu Zoom call’s microphone…Or the working mama cooking dinner while catching up on emails because the day was taken up with monitoring the children’s summer work….Or yet again, the mom with her laptop securely strapped onto the car’s front seat, nervously fingering the mouse pad to signal her presence to an overbearing manager while taking little Pablo to robotics camp…Or better yet, cue the happy families traveling in (apparent) harmony, kids running around through green parks and a general sense of leisurely relaxation floating in the air…Right? Wrong. At least for many working mothers grappling with what I would call the “summer ceiling” for working moms…

“Summer ceiling” = conglomerate of professional and personal obstacles faced by working mothers during the summer months as a result of the scarcity (or complete lack) of childcare resources, couple equity and overall gender equality.

Aka the mother of summer hells, no pun intended… Yet, very few working moms will admit to it. After all, the societal pressure to keep it all together and look like one big happy family while holding our collective coffee-infused breaths, wiping sweaty areas that can’t be publicly revealed, and standing on one half-painted toe, all the while posting heavenly (albeit laborious) Instagram pictures, is still very much prevalent, even in this post-COVID era…

Yet, the reality behind many a glossy vacation picture and outrageously expensive summer camp activity, is that working mothers are facing yet another wall as the summer rolls around. A hot, sweaty, expensive, coordination-filled and energy-draining wall of increased childcare, caregiving and household responsibilities…And may I add, while still desperately attempting to perform at work, never mind advancing projects, boosting careers and keeping some shred of motherly sanity. On the family side of things, many, if not most working moms are alternating finding somewhat reasonably priced summer camps minus the months-long waitlist, with figuring out ways to put grocery shopping on a budget and on auto-dial for permanently hungry and bored kids. Oh, and did I mention the constant agonizing reminder that as working mothers, we only have so many summers left with our kids…No pressure at all…

For many, if not most working moms in the US, summertime brings about a sense of dread and overwhelm at the thought of the accumulation of childcare, caregiving and household labor left vacant by school closures, cost-prohibitive and exclusive summer camps and recreation facilities, and the overall lack of infrastructure to support working parents in general. In the post-COVID era when many working mothers are working from home, many by choice, others by the lack thereof, it also means work will be subject to constant interruptions, unending noise and summer brain fog. Indeed, juggling being a fun yet professional summer mom with a fridge in constant need of refill, overflowing laundry (thank you summer camps) and a generally more chaotic household will create almost unbearable pressure. For those working in the office, it means securing reliable and affordable childcare while dealing with heart-wrenching guilt. In any case, the guilt is always there, as something always gets left to the side, everything seems done halfway, and the pressure keeps building day after day…

Research shows working moms’ work productivity significantly declines during the summer months. Data from the 2022 working paper entitled “The Summer Drop in Female Employment” by Brendan M. Price and Melanie Wasserman documents that summer school closures directly impact women’s employment status. Among women between the ages of 25 and 54, their share of employment as a percentage of the total population drops by an average of 1.1 percentage points. The labor force participation among these women drops by 0.5 percentage points during the summer months. Total hours worked are found to decline by 11% during the same period as well. Working moms were found to spend nearly nine hours more per week than usual on child care during the summer months than during the regular school year, with kids from six to twelve years old presenting the biggest caregiving challenge during that period.

This is not surprising as childcare, caregiving and household care regularly heaped on mothers, are multiplied when school is not in session during the summer months. The resuting decline in work productivity contributes to the slowing down of women’s careers, which are already weakened by the arrival of children and the increase in household and caregiving responsibilities, at least in the US.

Now let’s compare this to Sweden where Swedish parents have a right to 480 days of government-paid leave at a rate of 80% of their earnings for each child born or adopted. This applies to single parents as well, and is directly funded through the Swedish Social Insurance Agency, as opposed to individual employers. In addition, Swedish moms also benefit from an excellent childcare system offering the guarantee of a childcare spot from the first year of age at affordable costs. In general, Swedish working mothers are positively perceived by society and companies alike, allowing them to work on reduced schedules without extensive damage to their career progression. This is in comparison to the United States where employees are only eligible for up to 12 weeks of job-protected yet unpaid leave for illnesses, pregnancy or caregiving of an immediate family member through the 1993 Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). However, this is subject to a couple of caveats, including the fact that U.S. employees have to have worked for said employer for at least 12 months or 1,250 hours over the past year, and said employer employs 50 people or more. Additionally, U.S. workers are not necessarily guaranteed their original job upon their return from leave.

This abundance of confounding and frankly sad evidence confirms the summer ceiling hovering just above the heads of countless exhausted (if not burnt out), guilt-ridden, yet still relentlessly determined mothers. It is the summer ceiling so many of us face as the world reminds us how few summers we have left with our kids, while exhorting us to do it all, and do it all perfectly.

The reality is, there is no quick solution, or get-delivered-quick scheme, to the summer ceiling. Like so many other obstacles faced by women and rooted in a combination of social, economic and political factors, it will not be solved through a quick fix. Rather, it is the same combination of political, economic and social factors that created the problem in the first place, that have to be addressed in order to solve it.

Here are some suggestions to do so:

It’s not you, it’s the system!

Remember the phrase, ”it’s not you, it’s me”? Well, in this case, it’s not you, it’s the system. To be more precise, the patriarchal system designed to nurture privilege and non-inclusive, diverse or equitable access. So the next time you feel inclined to wallow in unending mother’s guilt or give up on your dreams and goals, remember: “It’s not you, it’s the system!”

Rethink the structure of your work and life

One of the main culprits of couple inequity which contributes to working moms’ exhaustion lies in the very gender inequality fostered in the traditional structure of work and gender roles. Work, as we traditionally know it, was not made for women, and certainly not for mothers. Just compare regular school schedules ending at 2 or 3pm, to the traditional work hours of 9 to 5…Yes, my point exactly…

This is where rethinking the structure of your work and life becomes important. The COVID-19 pandemic forced us to rethink how we work and live, especially as working women and mothers, opening the door to remote working and flexible work arrangements. As a matter of fact, the advent of remote work and its associated flexibility has helped women with childcare needs remain employed. Alternatively, plans to return to the office is spelling trouble for working moms, potentially driving them out of the workforce.

In the same way, rethinking how we work and live, from considering remote options to adding increased flexibility to our work, can help lessen the impact of the summer ceiling. At the very least, it can start honest conversations in the workplace and at home around setting honest expectations during a period that is so impactful to families, yet can be so challenging and costly to navigate.

Get engaged!

Last but not least, getting engaged at a level that targets the structural nature of the problem not only can, but is crucial to, change the status quo for working mothers. As mentioned earlier, this is more than just about school closures or the scarcity and cost of summer camps. Certainly, these are important factors that heavily weigh in the balance for working parents in general.

Yet, at the root of these, and so many other similar issues, are structural, institutional and political roadblocks that have been embedded in the fabric of society for a long time. These are the real obstacles to address, the ones that require working women and mothers to get engaged in their communities, at the institutional and political level to contribute to effecting the changes needed. Some of the organizations doing the work to advance the cause of working mothers, include the Chamber of Mothers and Moms First. In addition, getting involved in your local political and social community can contribute to creating change for working moms.

All in all, the summer ceiling is a harsh reality for working mothers during the summer months. Rooted in the scarcity (or lack thereof) of childcare, caregiving and household support, it is a reality that harshly pulls working mothers between family, career and even finances. Yet, it is a reality that also calls us to consider the social, economic and political factors behind it, and take action by removing the guilt, rethinking the structure of our work and lives, and getting engaged.

How are you facing your own summer ceiling? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com to share your story.

The Corporate Sister

TCS Podcast Episode 42: 7 principles to unleash more of who you are (the book)

by Solange Lopes | Apr 20, 2023 | Career, PODCAST

In this podcast episode, I introduce The Corporate Sister book #2: “More: The Journey of Unleashing More of Who You Are”. (available on Amazon).

In it, I discuss the 7 principles outlined in the book, from welcoming and embracing disruption and change, to managing progress. These are also the 7 principles guiding the mission of The Corporate Sister.

Click HERE to get your copy on Amazon!

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!

Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !

Got questions? Email me at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!

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Any feedback you’d like to share? Please leave a note in the comments section below!

To Your Success,

The Corporate Sister.

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10 tips to complete a PhD as a busy working mom

by Solange Lopes | Apr 15, 2023 | Career

Going back to school as a working mom is a challenge. Enrolling into a PhD program and actually completing it while raising kids, taking care of the home and being in a relationship or partnership is not for the faint of heart. As a matter of fact, it requires the kind of resilience, dedication and heart many are not prepared for…

When I first began my doctoral program, I had not the slightest idea what it would really entail. Having made the transition from the corporate world to academia, the doctoral world was a foreign space for me. Needless to say, the learning curve was not only steep, it also seeped into every single area of my life and career, especially as a working mother. Hindsight being 20/20, I wish someone had prepared me for this uniquely challenging, but also uniquely rewarding journey. This is exactly the reason why I’m sharing these ten tips to successfully completing a doctoral degree as a working mom.

Choose a doctoral program aligned with your career plans

A PhD program is a substantial investment in time, energy and often monetary resources. Such a significant investment also means you must choose a path that is in alignment with your future career plans and your general life purpose. If, like myself, pursuing an academic career is of interest to you, then completing a doctoral program in your discipline of interest may make sense. If you’re also interested in doing or continuing research in a field of your choosing, a PhD may also be the best path. Lastly, if you prefer working in industry in a more analytical, research-based, and technical capacity, a doctoral degree may also be in the cards for you.

It’s a journey of resilience and dedication more than it is one of smarts!

Completing a doctoral program is a journey that will test you on more than one level. More than an intellectual accomplishment, it is a taxing marathon requiring courage, resilience, and dedication. This is where mindset plays a crucial role, as being prepared mentally and renewing your mental stamina over and over again is half the battle!

Keep an attitude of humility and gratitude!

One of the most challenging, yet most attractive aspects of completing a doctoral program is the almost infinite amount of knowledge you’re exposed to. The sheer amount of research and literature in existence around a given topic, and the amount of knowledge still to be created can be overwhelming to say the least. It really humbles you and fills you with gratitude at the prospect of contributing to creating knowledge through your own research. It’s also this attitude that keeps you on your toes and passionate about the work, even when the going gets tough.

10 tips to complete a PhD as a busy working mom

It will seep into every other part of your life One lesson I learnt is that a doctoral program will seep into every other area of your life and career, mostly due to the sheer amount of work involved, the mental energy as well as the time required. A typical doctorate program lasts four to six years, however it can take longer to complete depending on the subject area, as well as the program and institution you’re in. As a busy working mom, this also means it will interfere with raising kids, doing your work, being in a marriage, and every other facet of your life and work. You can expect it to affect and impact your life in positive ways, such as an increased sense of achievement and purpose; but also in negative ways such as overwhelm and even burnout at times.

Learn to maximize the time you have!

No one knows better than a working mom how precious time is, especially when pursuing a terminal degree while raising kids and working full-time. This is where learning to maximize your time comes in handy. For me, it meant taking my laptop with me everywhere to fit in some time to study here and there. It also meant being willing to ask for and receive help, whether it was with childcare, housework, or even at work. Most importantly, it’s never underestimating the power of doing a little bit at a time. For a massive undertaking such as a terminal degree, it’s literally like “eating an elephant” bit by bit. Every little bit counts, and consistency is key to getting to the finish line.

Create pockets of rest and self-care

You may be wondering how you’ll ever find time to rest and recuperate when pursuing a PhD as a working mom. The trick is in creating pockets of rest and self-care each and every day, rather than waiting for an elusive block of time to recharge. The reality is, much of your downtime will be used to study and catch up on dissertation work, not to mention everything that just comes with being a working mother.

This is where creating pockets of rest and self-care over time is so important, whether it’s designating specific days of the week to study, or turning in early and reserving early mornings for doctoral work.

Create and nurture a like-minded community

Community is key to pursuing and completing a doctoral degree. Far from being an individual endeavor, it’s one that requires the support of like-minded individuals. Not everyone will understand, or care about, the challenges you may be encountering as part of your doctoral journey. As a matter of fact, the road to your PhD may feel very lonely at times.

However, surrounding yourself with people who have been through a similar journey, are going through it, or understand what it entails, can make all the difference. Even better, connecting with members of your own cohort may help in creating a sense of shared community, help with assignments and comprehensive exams, and provide a source of invaluable support during the dissertation process. This community also makes for lifelong friends and collaborators who can become co-authors of future publications and esteemed colleagues in the academy as well.

Less competition, more collaboration

In line with creating and nurturing a like-minded community, prioritizing collaboration over competition is key. This is especially relevant with a long-term endeavor such as a doctoral degree. In an environment that favors research and knowledge-sharing, collaborating with colleagues is more beneficial to everyone in the short and long-term.

Communication is key!

One of the most underrated skills when pursuing a doctoral degree, especially as a busy working mom, is the ability to communicate effectively. Communicating well with faculty and colleagues, especially at the final dissertation level, is key to saving precious time and reaching your goals faster and more effectively.

Don’t stop at graduation, stay open and curious!

Last but not least, a doctoral degree is a lifetime accomplishment and endeavor that doesn’t just stop at graduation. It’s a lifelong quest into learning and knowledge that can and will enrich your career and life in purposeful and meaningful ways.

All in all, completing a PhD as a busy working mother is certainly a challenging endeavor. However, with dedication, resilience, and an open perspective, it’s far from being impossible. It’s certainly a journey that has changed how I look at education and being a working mom.

Are you pursuing or interested in pursuing a PhD as a working mom?

The Corporate Sis.

How to build a fulfilling and authentic career as a working woman and mom

by Solange Lopes | Mar 28, 2023 | Career

When we think about building a great career, fulfillment and authenticity are usually not the first things that come to mind. I remember while growing up overhearing adults around me talk about what makes a great career. What I heard, and what stayed with me for the longest time, was that a desirable career was all about prestige, perks and of course, lots of money. And if you know African parents, it almost always meant you had to become a doctor or an engineer…What I didn’t hear was anything about building a fulfilling and authentic career on purpose. On the very contrary, it almost seemed you had to become someone else, someone different than who you were, in order to build the career of your dreams…

Like so many other working women and moms, I took with me the various pieces of well-intended career advice I was given while growing up, as I was starting to build my own career. As I was told, I looked for places of prestige, perks, and well…money. It wasn’t until years later, when disruption hit my life and the virulent itch of disruption and change took over, that I started questioning myself about what “having a great career” really means.

That’s when I began battling the call of my purpose with that of a well-padded paycheck…

When I began wondering if having to choose between my family and my work was really sustainable…

When I became clearer about the life and career I wanted to build for myself, my family and my community…

It’s also when I started wondering about what it means to build a fulfilling and authentic career as a working woman and mother…

As working women and moms, many, if not most of us, care about building a fulfilling and authentic life and career. A recent 2021 Gallup study shows while better compensation and work-life balance appear to be top priorities for both men and women, women rank factors such as work-life balance, the ability “to do what they do best”, and greater diversity and inclusion as most important. This is especially relevant after the COVID pandemic as women have been getting back to work more slowly than their male counterparts, as a result of lack of flexibility and caregiving support. Generally, employees all over the world are seeking more purpose and personal value in their careers nowadays, especially after the pandemic. More and more employees are engaging not only in what has been dubbed as the “Great Resignation” or this massive movement of employees out of the workplace in search of greater life and work meaning; but also in a process of “Great Reflection”, reconsidering what matters most to them in life and at work.

So how do we go about building more fulfilling and authentic careers as working women and moms already faced with so many constraints, biases and opposition in and outside of the workplace? How do we manage to work in more authentic and more fulfilling ways? Here are three tips from my own experience changing careers towards more authenticity and fulfillment of my purpose, which I discuss in my latest book “More: The Journey of Unleashing More of Who You Are”:

Awareness is key: Know who you are in each season

In order to build an authentic career, you’ve got to know who you are! As easy as it may seem, it’s actually the task of a lifetime to figure out who you are and who you keep evolving into, as each season of life is different. As a working woman and mom, it’s an even more daunting task to sift through all the clutter of societal and cultural gender conditioning and biases to uncover who you really are and what you really want out of your life and work in this current season. This is why developing consistent habits of awareness and mindfulness, and making a regular practice of checking in with yourself are so important!

Allow for disruptions and change

Crafting an ideal career aligned with who you are and your purpose also means taking the less-traveled road, often the one filled with uncomfortable disruptions and changes. As such, building a fulfilling and authentic career, and life in general, especially as a working woman and mom, is also about answering the call of change when it knocks on the doors of our comfortable lives, and being willing to be uncomfortable in order to accomplish our purpose. Paradoxically enough, it’s this very discomfort that allows us to grow into the most fulfilled, authentic and purposeful versions of ourselves.

Start where you are and use what you have!

Last but not least, starting where you are and using what you have is how you set the foundation of a more fulfilling career. This also means leveraging all your experiences, wins, setbacks and everything in between, from being a mother to failing in your latest work or business project.

All in all, building fulfilling and authentic careers as working women and moms is about being aware of who we are, allowing for disruptions and changes, and starting where we are and with what we have. While the process may be unpleasant at times, it’s what ends up leading us to crafting the work of our lives, on purpose.

Are you ready to build a fulfilling and authentic career as a working woman and mom?

PS: Get my book “More: The Journey of Unleashing More of Who You Are”.

The Corporate Sister.

7 principles to unleash more of who you are (The Book)

by Solange Lopes | Mar 7, 2023 | LIFESTYLE, Working Mom & Woman Tips

Have you ever said to yourself, whether it was as related to a life or work situation, there’s got to be MORE? Have you ever been so sick and tired of being sick and tired of the status quo in your workplace and wondered if there is more to your career? Have you been stuck in your business to the point of wondering if there is more to being an entrepreneur?

I suspect most of us have, especially as working women and mothers with so much on our plates day in and day out. Especially as the blatant lack of infrastructure supporting working women and moms often leaves us depleted…Especially as the various and oh so unfair biases affecting us, from gender stereotypes to the glass ceiling and concrete wall, leave us wanting for more fullness in our careers and businesses… These are also some of the issues I’m grappling with in my new book “More: The Journey to Unleash More of Who You Are ”.

How can, and do we unleash more of who we are as working women and moms despite the obstacles facing us in and outside of work? There are 7 principles I discuss in the book as part of the conversation to answer this question:

Principle 1: Don’t miss your wake-up call wrapped as disruption

Unleashing more of who you are and what you want out of your career and life often requires you to step out of the very routine that is keeping you stuck. This often comes wrapped as unwelcome disruption at the seemingly most inconvenient times. Learning to recognize the wake-up calls wrapped as disruption is key to beginning and continuing the journey of unleashing more of who you are.

Principle 2: Begin with what you have and where you are

What keeps most of us stuck is the inability to even know where to begin in order to embark on a new journey. One of my favorite inspirational set of phrases from tennis legend Arthur Ashe is “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” To me, it speaks to the power of small change and consistent, resilient progress. In this sense, harnessing the incredible power of your unique individual stories, skills, talents, quirks, and everything that makes you YOU becomes your very unique greatness proposition and best competitive advantage.

Principle 3: Use your season of preparation through experience and release

In line with beginning where you are and using what you have, harnessing your past experience and re-purposing your skills, talents, and story is also key to unleashing your own MORE. This also requires letting go of the version of you that no longer exists to welcome the new, evolved version of who you are becoming. This is your season of preparation.

Principle 4: Managing progress

There’s a mindset to progress and growth. One that must stand strong in the face of the backlash women experience as they dare to rise. One that must learn to celebrate progress rather than shrink and hide. Ultimately, one that knows how to manage the ebb and flow of growth and evolution while still moving forward. This mindset is indispensable to managing the progress and growth that thankfully and inevitably come as you unleash MORE of who you are.

Principle 5: Handling your season of promotion

The very promotion you may yearn for may also be terrifying to you, as it is to many, if not most working women and mothers. While being aspired to and celebrated, women’s success is also threatening to the status quo, and often rewarded by harsh backlash. This is where dealing with the fear of success and re-defining success on your own terms can make a world of difference.

Principle 6: Daring to celebrate

For working women and moms, joy and celebration constitute resistance at each step of the process of becoming their best selves. Daring to celebrate, while cultivating and preserving your joy is an act of sheer resistance.

Principle 7: Focusing on the process, not the destination

Last but not least, focusing on the process and not the destination through continuous improvement is essential. At the end of the day, it’s a marathon and not a race.

All in all, unleashing more of who you are as you get closer and closer to the fullness of who you were created to be, is a gift often wrapped in disruption and requiring a challenging, albeit rewarding, process of growth and evolution. This is a necessary and brave journey of un-becoming much of the negative and damaging stereotypes women were taught and socialized into, and instead becoming all you were meant to be.

You can read more in my book “MORE: The journey of unleashing more of who you are”, available on Amazon.

PS: Thank you for reading. Please leave me a review if you can!

With gratitude,

The Corporate Sis