by Solange Lopes | May 14, 2018 | Career
Whether it’s for a better opportunity or to leave an unfulfilling, or even toxic, situation, walking away from your job is no easy task. It almost always requires some form of adjustment of one sort of another. There are may reasons why you may be thinking, or may already have, quit your job. Despite these, it’s always best to quit a job, any job for that matter, without burning bridges.Or at least without burning too many bridges…
You may be called to remain in the same network, or may even have to come back to the organization you’re leaving in the future, or keep in touch with the people there. These individuals may also serve as references for you in the future. Which is exactly why it’s always best to say goodbye on professional terms.
Here are 5 tips to reflect on and use as you plan on or act upon quitting your job without burning bridges:
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Be flexible
As you leave your job, you may want to show some willingness and flexibility to finish your work and train the next person. While two weeks is customary, you may consider offering a longer resignation period, unless you’ve already committed to a start date at your next job. It really depends on your prior commitment, your agreement with the next ob or project you’re moving on to, and your relationships in your current work environment. In any case, be as considerate and show as much flexibility as you can.
The only caveat in this case is that you may want to avoid giving too much notice. The minute you decide to leave, you’re already perceived as an outsider anyways. Think about it when working to strike a balance between enough notice and too much notice as you quit your job.
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Let your boss know first!
After deciding to resign, you should announce it to your manager first. The last thing you want is for your boss to hear it from someone else before it gets to him/her. Not only is it a sign of respect, but it allows you to have the initial conversation with him/her directly and avoid any “he says/she says” surrounding your departure.
After you’ve told your manager, you can then decide how your resignation gets communicated to the rest of the office. Whether it’s in an email, during a meeting, or personally informing key people, it’s up to you to pick the best way to inform others at your workplace.
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Express thanks!
Being grateful for the time you’ve had in a certain position goes a long way. It shows that regardless of what may have transpired, you are professional enough to end your tenure on a positive note. Whether it’s a general thank you email on your last day, or personalized thank you notes, don’t forget to thank those you’ve worked alongside of throughout your time at the company.
You can even go the extra mile by mentioning particular things you’re thankful for, such as a mentor taking time to guide you through your tenure, or a co-worker assisting you on multiple projects. While you may not need to broadcast these specifics, you may want to tell these particular people how they’ve affected your career. Not only is it considerate and touching, but it’s also just great karma!
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Let it go and don’t leave on a sour note!
You may be prompted to leave bad managers or toxic wok environments during your careers. Whatever the case may be, it’s important not to leave on a sour note. While there may have been challenging situations in your work, avoid dwelling on the negative as you quit your job.
If asked about issues that occurred during your tenure, spin these as learning opportunities rather than complaints. Refrain from speaking negatively about anyone, especially during your exit interview. Always ask yourself: “What positives have I learnt from the situation?”, and present it instead of exiting on a bitter and resentful note. Be as professional and positive as you, and karma will do the rest!
5. Don’t be a stranger!
Regardless of the circumstances of your departure, don’t be a stranger! The last thing you want to do is lose the network you’ve grown and built already. Professional contacts can help you expand your network, and tap into new opportunities as you move on to new ventures.
As you quit, exchange your contact information with your peers, colleagues and managers. Connect with them on Linked In, and periodically keep in touch to keep your network fresh and engaged!
Leaving your job on a positive and professional note is a great recipe for career progress and fulfillment. It shows your maturity, class and professionalism, and continues to set the foundation for your career success as you move on to bigger and better opportunities!
What would you recommend to quit your job without burning bridges?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
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by Solange Lopes | May 7, 2018 | Career
As working moms, it can be challenging not to face the “mommy bias” at work, especially when we have to make special arrangements in our careers and businesses. Early pickups, flexible work arrangements, or impromptu family-related emergencies, are all par for the course when it comes to being a working mom. This may also resulting in a mommy bias at work when co-workers and even managers begin resenting the flexibility or circumstances of a working parent.
As a working mom, I often felt scared of asking for flexibility at work. While I was fortunate to work with understanding co-workers and managers when it came to having work-life integration, there was always a fear of the “mommy bias”. What if leaving on time or early would keep me from getting a promotion? What if my colleagues would think I’m a slacker? Speaking to other working moms, I realized that in certain environments, the “mommy bias” could lead to women being ignored, resented, or flat-out punished for being parents.
As much as we may think that our society has progressed and mentalities have evolved, the truth remains that the traditional role of moms caring for their babies at home is still largely upheld. This underlying bias is real, although often denied. More often than not, women with children or expecting babies, are deemed to be less competent. It is assumed that taking care of a household and family is incompatible with excelling at work, which results in many women being taken off the leadership track or simply relegated to lower-profile assignments.
As archaic as it may sound, this reality is prevalent for many, if not most working moms. However, there are ways you can fight it in your workplace or business.
Here are some tips to fight the “mommy bias” at work:
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Be strategic!
Since you already know the reality of the working mom bias and how it can affect your career, you need to be as strategic as possible about your career, especially as you approach maternity leave. Before leaving to give birth, make sure to have a conversation with your manager and team to ensure that there is a clear understanding that this new phase of your life does not alter your career.
Have a plan in place for your return to work, and as much as possible, work to have your manager and team commit to it. It’s important that all parties understand what is on the table, and prepare accordingly.
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Keep showing your ongoing interest and commitment in your work
Even after having children, post-maternity leave and an ongoing basis, keep showing how committed you are to your work. While there exists an assumption that working moms may be less effective at their jobs, do not let it derail you from your career goals.
Set up regular meetings with your team and management to reiterate your commitment to your work, and set clear goals for your career. The last thing you want to do is be discouraged and throw in the towel.
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Be prepared to fight for opportunities!
Along with showing your commitment, you also want to motivate yourself to fight for the career opportunities you deserve. Many working moms are unfortunately at a disadvantage when it comes to being considered for high-profile assignments or positions. However, this shouldn’t keep you from defending the work you have done, demonstrating excellence and arguing your case.
Don’t let the fact that you may be overlooked at times deter you from seeking the right opportunities for your career. Instead, use it as fuel to do your best work.
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Take it easy on yourself
As much as you should be prepared to fight this mommy bias at work, you also have to keep in mind that you have a lot on your plate. It’s challenging to deal with children, the household, your relationship, and be a beaming light of hope at work. Can you do it with flying colors? Yes, certainly.
However, you should be mindful of prioritizing your self-care and checking in with yourself as often as you can. Being a committed employee does not mean sacrificing yourself in order to keep everyone comfortable. Decide how much you’re able to give and what you need to keep yourself at the top of your game and happy.
Now your turn: How do you fight the mommy bias at work?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | May 2, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips |
Every year as Mother’s Day approaches, you can’t miss the onslaught of marketing ads, cards and flowers thrown at us from everywhere. Don’t get me wrong, getting a cute (preferably funny) greeting card, some adorable flowers and an elegant purse of pair of shoes is a wonderful touch of kindness and care. As a working mom, I value all the precious gifts the hubby has given me over the years (mostly at my not-so-discrete request).
However, as years have gone by, more kids were born, and laundry steadily got out of control, my gift request list has (slightly) changed. As I was chasing my youngest in a crowded restaurant while trying to extricate the bread roll he shoved in my bra and keep butter from drizzling all over my new Spring dress last Mother’s Day, I mentally made a list of 10 things I want most for Mother’s Day this year.
At the risk of foregoing the most adorable (and priciest) bouquet of flowers and gorgeous purse, here are 10 things this working mom wants for Mother’s Day this year. And guess what, none of them includes stepping into a store and sliding a credit card anywhere (ok, maybe a little):
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A nap (or just sleep in general)
The last time I tried to remember my last nap, I almost got a brain freeze. If you’re a working mom, the thought of laying down for a few uninterrupted minutes during the day may seem like finding an oasis in the middle of Manhattan.
Well, for Mother’s Day, I may just want to find that one oasis in the middle of Manhattan. Which also means laying myself down somewhere in the middle of the day, closing my eyes and enjoying this mother of a peace!
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Silence (lots of it)
If you’re a working mom, or have been around any mom in any country in the world, you know that silence quickly becomes a hard commodity to come by. As a matter of fact, even when there is silence, your mommy brain may still come up with some imaginary child voice asking for bread with Nutella or clean underwear (or both)…
For Mother’s Day, my silent request is to have some silence, as I negotiate with my brain to shut down the imaginary kids’ voices (which may or may not be mine). Plus I’ll take it with a glass of red Beaujolais, please and thank you…
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Going to the bathroom alone (at least once on Mother’s Day)
Do you remember when you used to go to the bathroom alone, preferably with a book? Ok, now, fast forward, do you remember the last time you sat on the throne for more than two seconds alone with your thoughts as a working mom? That is, without getting interrupted because a) everyone needs to pee at the same time as you, b) everyone has a question for you right as you sit on the toilet, or c) there is some unnamed emergency you need to run to right that minute.
On Mother’s Day, I’m renaming our (cleanest) bathroom as “motherhood territory”. Which also means no interruptions and a good book to boot.
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Reading a book without any little person ripping the page off
Speaking of books, how many working moms remember the feeling of actually leafing through a real book, with real pages? Or even holding a Kindle device without any little fingers splashing Nutella all over it?
Well, I personally don’t. Which is exactly why reading a real book is quite up there on my list of Mother’s Day demands. And ideally, the pages would remain in the book and not in some (adorable) little person’s hands…
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A nanny for the day (you may add a cook, laundry person, and special attendant)
I understand the point of Mother’s Day is to celebrate mothers; and that what makes us mothers is actually having (and dealing with) children (plus the resulting housework and mental exhaustion that comes with these precious little humans). However, since we’re making exceptions for Mother’s Day, a nanny (preferably an overachieving one who may or may not have graduated from the Harvards of Nanny schools) would be pretty awesome.
I also wouldn’t be opposed to a personal chef, laundry person and even a special attendant too. Just saying, don’t judge me…
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The abolition of cooking and cleaning (even to bring me breakfast in bed)
The last time I was treated to breakfast in bed for Mother’s Day, I was also treated to a substantial pile of dishes in the sink, sticky syrup on the floor and all over my sheets, and did I mention the entire kitchen area turned into a war zone? Don’t get me wrong, it’s absolutely adorable and have made me almost lose my nightly hair pineapple (hello naturalistas)…
For Mother’s Day, can we respectfully agree to abolish any cooking or cleaning? Which may involve pre-cooking said breakfast in bed, ordering it in, or just enlisting the help of the hubby (and his whole squad) to clean up afterwards?
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The apocalypse of laundry
Right along with laundry, can we talk about the curse of laundry? This hungry monster seems to multiply by the day, signaling the never-ending plague of household chores. Not that I don’t enjoy loading multiple laundry packs and folding a gazillion little underwear as I reflect over what happened to my life…
Well, for Mother’s Day, let’s decide on the apocalypse of laundry, which also means hiding any evidence of dirty clothes from sight, and providing enough clean underwear to keep any laundry crisis at bay…
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Extreme and obnoxious pampering
We’re not talking about a regular mani-pedi here. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a pretty nice treat. Yet, since we’re talking about things I really want, how about some extreme and pretty obnoxious pampering? Like an entire day at the spa, or a massage combo, or anything that makes you feel extra special that day?
So for Mother’s Day, if I must choose between overpriced and perishable flowers, and raising the bar on mommy pampering, I’ll pick the latter. Which also includes wearing some form of lipstick (away from my teeth), cute (non-walking/running) heels, and a designer bag instead of the traditional bulky diaper bag.
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Death to the mom routine
While we’re at it, let’s do away with the mom routine too, including kids bath, fights over the outfit of the day, or riding around all day picking up and dropping off kids to social activities and playdates. In other words, a clean, sweet break-up with the every day mom routine.
For Mother’s Day, I will gladly relinquish all said routine mom duties to the lowest bidder. No hard feelings…
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But I still want to know that my beautiful family is there, just quiet and not too close
Yet, what I really want, in addition to all the very reasonable (ok, maybe not for the special attendant) demands above, is to have my people around. The ones who drive me bonkers, make me carry dirty socks in my purse, and have turned my car into a dirty minibus.
The only thing is, I just want them where I can see them, but not where I have to be involved in any diaper changing, counter cleaning, or question answering…Just for one day, everyone sit pretty and smile, and let Mommy be…You may come back tomorrow with your unmet needs, demands and requests, plus any complaints about the lack of clean underwear…
From Mommy with Love…
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