by Solange Lopes | Aug 15, 2018 | Make More Money
Growing up in a single-parent household led by a single mom, my family wasn’t exactly wealthy. We had food on the table, and in many ways, I was very fortunate to be given a wonderful education and opportunities. However, when it came to money, the underlying messages were clear: “We need to be very careful about money” and “There’s never enough money!”
Related: 12 quotes about money from famous women that’ll make you financially-savvy women
As for me, this cautionary message turned into a scarcity mindset that made me fearful of never having enough money for the longest time. There was no amount of savings that would be enough. To say that I became financially conservative and risk-adverse was an understatement, despite my past (pretty serious) shoe and cheese collector habits.
Related: Why you should mind your mindset at work
You may also be facing constant money worries, even if your financial situation is stable. Or you may be living paycheck to paycheck, praying to the gods of Visa and Mastercard every time you tender your debit or credit card. Better yet, you may be holding on to a job you hate, or delaying your career and life dreams, as a result of your money fears.
It took me a long time to even begin detaching from my financial fears, and actually stop compulsively looking at every price tag. It’s still a process, one through which I’ve learnt to be more financially confident. In turn, it has actually helped me set up a better financial foundation, despite (or maybe as a result of) taking more risks, being more fulfilled, and being less obsessed with price tags.
Related: 10 smart financial management rules for women
If you’re dealing with financial fears, whether you’re compulsively checking your bank accounts, staring at your lofty balances, or incurring overdraft fee after overdraft fee, there are a few steps you can take:
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Ditch the scarcity mindset
The most important money lesson I’ve learnt over time is that money is first and foremost a mindset! Not a bank balance, a budget, or even the sum of your net worth. It’s how you think about yourself, and what you’re allowing yourself to possess and enjoy!
Related: Ace your performance at work by adopting this mindset
One of the books that started my mindset shift when it comes to money is “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill. What it taught me is to stop thinking in terms of scarcity and instead adopt a mindset of abundance and openness to the infinite possibilities that surround us. Before you start thinking this is all woo-woo theory, consider the types of expenses you incur when you’re in a negative mindset as opposed to a positive one. Do you see how a simple shift of your thoughts can help you attract better opportunities while making less financial mistakes?
Ask yourself if you’ve been having a scarcity mindset. Do you feel like you can never have enough money? Have you watched your parents struggle with money and as a result, believed that you also would struggle with money? Do you not consider yourself worthy to deserve and have everything you desire? If so, you may be suffering, like I was, of acute “Scarcity Mindset” syndrome. Thankfully, it can be cured.
Start with simple thoughts and affirmations of abundance, such as: “Money comes to me easily”. Start believing that with hard work, dedication and faith, you can have as much money as you need and beyond. And watch your money fears diminish and pretty soon stop, being instead replaced with more confidence in your financial future.
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Re-evaluate your budget
Your budget is a like a compass for your financial health. It helps you understand and pick the right direction to take in your financial journey. However, many times, we fail to have realistic budgets that reflect who we are and how we live, as opposed to how others want us to live.
Related: How to budget realistically as working women
You can follow a gazillion finance gurus, read a million money blogs, and have the best budgeting apps on your smartphone. If your budget is not realistic enough to paint a picture of what your life really is and where you intend to take it, you’re wasting your time.
Instead of building hypothetical budgets, be as honest as possible about what your expenses and revenues look like. I used to build budgets that reflected my own financial fears and worries, in which I would underestimate my expenses and overestimate my savings. The result? Added stress and frustration, in addition to hardly ever meeting my financial goals. Today, I have what I call a “real” budget. It’s simpler, more efficient, but also more honest.
Take a look at your budget and ask yourself if it really represents your personality and lifestyle. If it doesn’t, it’s ok to scratch it and start fresh. From an honest and authentic foundation, you can re-direct it towards what you really want out of your finances.
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Live below your means
Most millionaires (at least those who stand a chance to remain so) live below their means. Warren Buffett is said to drive the same car for years, and has lived in the same house for the longest time. In a society where the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) and social media comparisons rage among us, we can be tempted to book the latest hot vacation spot, buy the fancy car, or score the best name brands. Which in turn digs our financial graves deeper and deeper…
Although I was struggling with a scarcity mindset earlier on, there was a time when I still wanted the latest, most fashionable things. Despite being able to afford them, what I didn’t realize then was that every time I allocated money on a high-ticket item, I also missed out on opportunities to save and invest for the future.
This is not to say that you shouldn’t splurge and treat yo’self every now and then. However, living below your means gives you the option of leveraging the accumulation factor. This is where you accumulate your savings, investments, and other financial safeguards to help you and your family afford the lifestyle you want in the short and long-term. Besides, I’d rather sleep well at night knowing I have coins in the bank in case of emergency, than live fearful of anything dreadful happening.
RELATED: 7 BEST APPS TO HELP YOU MANAGE YOUR MONEY
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Meet with a financial advisor
When I made the decision to meet with a financial advisor to discuss my short and long-term financial goals, I was a bit skeptical. However, I knew enough to know that the more you can get professional financial advice, the better off you’ll be. The meeting did not disappoint. I was fortunate to deal with an extremely knowledgeable and kind-hearted individual, which also helped.
Yet, what I valued most was the amazing knowledge and power this gave me over my finances. There are so many options that most of us don’t realize and avail ourselves of for lack of education in certain areas. It’s normal, since we’re not experts in every field.
Consulting with a financial advisor helped me get an honest and clear picture of my financial situation, goals, and possibilities. As I continue on this journey, it’s also opening up a wealth of options as to how I can better manage my money and resources to afford a lifestyle that fulfills my family and I. Besides, it’s a great way to put your financial worries aside and instead have a plan to tackle your financial present and future.
RELATED: HOW TO BUILD GENERATIONAL WEALTH AS A WORKING WOMAN
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Make a long-term plan
It’s one thing to have a few months’ savings for emergencies. It’s another to think about what you want your life to look like in the next five or ten years, or even after retirement. How about what would happen to your family and loved ones if you were to suddenly disappear? What would occur if you or your spouse were hurt or unable to work? These are all difficult questions to ponder. It’s also why most of us avoid thinking about them. That is, until something irreversible occurs…
One of the events of my youth that marked me the most was the disappearance of my grand-parents on both sides of my family. Their passing not only brought pain to our families, but also great financial worries due to lack of adequate advance planning. I never knew the details, yet I could sense the distance and grief this created.
As you’re thinking about money, have you thought about making a long-term plan? Have you considered life insurance, possibly a will, and other financial arrangements that would set a secure financial foundation for yourself and your loved ones? While these can be daunting to think about, they can also help ease your financial concerns as you commit to building a solid financial base for you and yours.
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Give your money a purpose
You know what they say, that “money is the root of all evil”. Right? Wrong! Money is only evil if used for the wrong purpose. When used for legitimate reasons, it can actually be a source of positive impact in your life and others’. With the right purpose, your money can help you accomplish your dreams, live the lifestyle you desire, and help others do the same.
Yet it starts with giving your coins a WHY! This is a personal process that begins with understanding yourself and what you’re about. What is the WHY behind your money? Is it to build a legacy, care for your children, assure your retirement? It can be a medley of various reasons and motives, which is more than ok. However, being clear about it can make the difference between not having a strategy for your money, and moving intentionally and clearly forward with your financial goals.
As for me, I like security and being able to say yes to my family when financial needs arise. Building a legacy and leaving a fruitful financial basis for my loved ones is part of my goals. What are yours?
RELATED: 7 QUESTIONS YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE
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Relax! It’s going to be ok
Last but not least, be kind to yourself. When it comes to money, we all have some level or another of financial concerns. None of us can predict what’s going to happen tomorrow. The market can crash, we can incur losses, and we may be out of a job. Or all three combined, all at once, as you also deal with a sudden onset of teenage acne in our 30’s.
Life simply happens, and it also goes on. Which means that since we’ll never have 100% control over circumstances and events, we might as well take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Money matters, but it’s not everything.
Make a plan, do your best, and enjoy the things that truly matter in life. For me, it’s my relationship with God, my family and loved ones, my work, people in general, and a good Brie on some delicious, hot French bread! What matters to you, and how can money help you create the lifestyle you desire?
Bonus tip: Surround yourself with like-minded people
You truly are the sum of the people you surround yourself with, especially when it comes to your money. If your four friends are broke and living paycheck to paycheck, chances are you’re well on your way to becoming the fifth. Which also means you must be careful who you hang around with.
This is not about being or feeling better than anyone else. Rather it’s about seeking to improve yourself, starting with your relationships. Look around you. Who are your friends and acquaintances? Do you share money goals, or any goals in general? Can they help you better your financial situation? Can you help them? What do you talk about when you’re together? Relationships are supposed to make us better, in all areas of our lives. If they’re setting us back, they it may be time to re-consider.
RELATED: NETWORK LIKE A GIRL: 10 WAYS TO SUCCESSFULLY NAVIGATE THE WORLD OF NETWORKING AS A WORKING WOMAN
All in all, your financial worries or concerns don’t make you an exception. Neither do they make you a victim. However, they’re a strong reminder to take charge of your financial situation, while still reminding yourself what your priorities and your WHY are. Aligning your money with who you are and what you desire is the most powerful way to increase your net worth and create the life and work you deserve! So why not get started today?
Now your turn: How do you face your financial fears?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 14, 2018 | Career
Have you ever been stuck in a job you hate, but had no way to leave? Have you ever started a business that you ended up resenting and even despising in the long run? Did you embark on a professional mission that you started with excitement, but that now makes you dread getting up in the morning?
If you’ve ever been in any of these situations, you know these are far from pleasant. You spend so much time at work that the stress of doing work you hate can take a serious toll on you. You may also feel like you’re wasting your talents, or not contributing to society as much as you’d like. Maybe you feel like you should do something meaningful and have an impact on your generation. Or maybe you’re not sure what your dream career is, but you know this is definitely not it.
Related: You are not your job: How not to let your career define you
I remember in one instance feeling physically stuck, to the point of not being able to regulate my breath properly. At the time, there was a sense of hopelessness and sheer panic, as it seemed I drifted further and further away from the person I wanted to be and the work I was meant to do.
It’s one thing to try and fail, and start over again. It’s another to simply sense that you’re glued to a certain occupation that consumes the majority of your time, and that you frankly don’t enjoy. We all want to do good work, contribute to society, and make an impact. When our hands are tied and we’re unable to do so, we start drowning in the mundane sea of daily to-do’s, losing sight of our purpose, joy and drive.
Yet, the bills still have to get paid, shoes bought, and cell phone services paid. Which means we can’t exactly pick up and leave jobs, no matter how much they suck the life out of us. Getting unstuck doesn’t necessarily equate sending in your letter of resignation and backpacking through the Himalayas (although sometimes you may need to do just that). I’m not suggesting either to remain in a soul-sucking, motivation-draining, toxic career that threatens to deplete you of your sanity and well-being.
Actually, I’ve learnt that it starts with mastering where you are on the way to where you’re going:
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Pick out the good (even if you have to squint)
When you’re doing work you hate, it can be challenging to make a mile-long list of things you enjoy. After your hourly coffee runs, scrolling Instagram on your lunch break, and having your 50thsnack of the day, your “good stuff” column may run low.
Even then, pick out the good in your circumstances. It may be your paycheck, your fun co-workers, or Friday’s special omelet with cheese at the cafeteria. The more you can see the good in your situation, the better it is.
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Practice gratitude
Although I have to remind myself to practice gratitude daily, it’s one habit that always sets me up for success. To this day, I try and write a list of at least 10 things I’m grateful for about the work I do. It lifts me up, and changes my perspective, especially on days when it’s harder to get motivated.
Being grateful for the work you do is not just a mindset shift. It’s an actual shift in your attitude, from taking what you have for granted, to appreciating aspects of your work you may not have thought about before.
Related: 21 Days of Gratitude to Boost Your Career (Free Career Journal)
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Realize your job is paying you to learn
This is one wisdom nugget I borrowed from entrepreneur and Curlbox founder Myleik Teele. Your job is indeed paying you to learn. From learning to work in team environments, to managing and contributing to meetings, not to mention handling challenges and acquiring specialized and general skills, your job, as much as you may hate it, is paying you to acquire knowledge.
No, you’re not working for your boss, your team, or even your company. You’re working to improve your skills, build your reputation and prepare yourself for a brighter future. That job you hate is setting you up for the one you’ll love and excel at down the road.
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Your paycheck is your Freedom Fund
Let’s talk funds. That paycheck which may be the highlight of your bi-weekly period can also serve as the financial foundation of your dreams, or your Freedom Fund. Your Freedom Fund is the money you save while gainfully employed to invest in your dream business or simply put money aside as a reserve for the time when you take the leap.
That’s how I started my side hustle, by investing and re-investing some of my earnings into my business. In this sense, having a job while you build up your dreams is a wonderful opportunity.
Related: 10 Smart Financial Management Rules for Working Women
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Build genuine connections
As much as you may not enjoy the work you may be currently doing, don’t forget the people factor. Building authentic and genuine connections is key to your success at work and in life. In the midst of the frustrations you may be experiencing in your work, take some time to forge and nurture healthy relationships through active and strategic networking.
Don’t get me wrong, this can definitely be more challenging in a toxic, gossip-ridden and negative environment. However, taking the high road and maintaining your professionalism can go a long way in keeping and growing your network, even at a job you’re not fond of.
Related: How to prepare for any networking event
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Practice excellence
When all you can think about is how slow the clock is ticking before 5pm, it can be hard to think in terms of excellence. However, the true mark of leadership is to be excellent in less than excellent circumstances. Which also means going above and beyond even when your work is not motivating or inspiring you.
The key is to trick your mind into doing your absolute best work. If this were the career of your dreams, how would you treat it? How would your work ethics change? What would you do to go above and beyond? As you do this in less than ideal work circumstances, you’re training yourself to do it when you reach the C-suite, the business office, or your absolute dream career.
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Remember, you create your reality!
In Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill explains at the beginning of the book how he was in less than ideal circumstances at his place of employment. He then proceeds to describe how a simple mindset shift propelled him to be more successful than he could have imagined in his work.
The point is, you are entirely up to you! It’s not so much your work circumstances, as much as your mindset, that determines the success of your outcomes. What you think you create. How about thinking of being successful doing work you love?
Being stuck doing work you hate is far from being the end-all-be-all of your career or life. Many of us have been there. However, what you do while you’re there is what really matters. Changing your mindset, and using your current work situation to plant the seeds for a better future, is what will take you from dreading to loving Monday mornings.
Your turn: How do you manage doing work you hate?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 7, 2018 | Career
Every year on Black Women’s Equal Pay Day, I stop and think about what this day really means. In essence, it marks the length of time a Black woman has to work in order for her earnings to equal that of a white man for that year.
As of April 2018, per the National Partnership organization, for each dollar made by a white man, a black woman employed in a full-time position makes 63 cents. This is a much wider gap than that faced by white and some Asian-American women. However, Latina and Native American women face an even wider gap, at 54 and 57 cents respectively. According to the National Women’s Law Center, Black women can lose up to $870,000 in potential earnings over the course of their careers.
There are many reasons accounting for this gap, encompassing disparities in child care access, poverty, unemployment, as well as discrimination and harassment, to cite a few. However, despite these, there are a few ways that Black women can fight the pay gap:
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Acknowledge the problem
As a Black woman at work, I have not always been aware of the reality of the pay gap. While it has become more widely known in recent years, I have to admit that there was a time when I barely suspected it. From conversations with fellow working women, I know I’m not the only one.
Whether because we’re not aware of it or we choose to ignore it out of fear or convenience, not acknowledging the problem is a problem in itself. The more we’re aware, and the more we do our research around it, the more equipped we are to address it.
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Know your worth
As women in general, and Black women in particular, it can be easy to underestimate ourselves and our rightful professional contributions. From settling for sub-par compensation to fearing to ask for what we deserve, there are many ways in which we can unconsciously fail to know and ask for our worth.
It starts with research and being aware of the professional practices in place. What are the salaries for a certain position, in a given industry or business? What compensation and benefit practices are used? What packages are being offered to employees in similar locations, industries or companies? These are all questions that should be researched into and probed to find the corresponding answers. These will also be useful to assess your worth in terms of what is already being done in similar environments.
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Be fearless
Fear is one of the major factors nurturing the pay gap. As a result of history, convenience and sheer intimidation, many hesitate to speak up in favor of reducing this pay gap. Some of these fears are certainly legitimate, especially when one’s paycheck depends on our not rocking the boat.
However, it’s important to learn to set aside the fear of challenge, change and even confrontation when necessary to resolve a gap that is unjustly affecting so many women.
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Don’t be afraid to negotiate
It wasn’t until I was well into my career that I realized the importance of negotiation, along with the art of it. Not negotiating also means leaving money on the table, from compensation to benefits and so much more.
Don’t’ be afraid to negotiate and ask for what you deserve. As stated earlier, it begins with doing your research and truly assessing your professional worth in terms of compensation, benefits and other perks.
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Use confrontation strategically
As part of reducing the pay gap, there are instances in which confrontation may occur. However, it’s important to use it strategically and only when necessary. An informed, well-researched and documented approach goes a long way towards establishing the foundation for a healthy and productive conversation.
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Vote for equal pay legislation
One aspect of the Black Women’s Pay Gap that is often overlooked is the legislation part. We often underestimate the impact of laws and those who make the laws on what we actually receive in our paycheck.
Being involved and aware of legislation, especially equal pay legislation, is crucial. This is a powerful way to understand the high-level dynamics affecting the compensation system, and most importantly, to positively affect it.
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Keep your options open
Career mobility, done well, is also a powerful way to combat the pay gap. Understand that your options are not limited to your current company or pay structure. Do your research and understand the various choices you may have, and how these can contribute to reducing the pay gap.
Now your turn: How do/can we fight the pay gap?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 7, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
As busy working moms, it can be challenging to nurture our marriages. Between raising children, breaking ceilings in our careers and businesses, not to mention dealing with the proverbial laundry and house chores (which we still do most of), nurturing your marriage can quickly be relegated to the end of your gigantic to-do list.
Seriously, who wants to plan romantic walks on the beach with your significant other when the kids can’t find underwear, you can’t find a babysitter, and both of you have MAJOR work meetings in the morning? How do you keep the romance (or any conversation) going when you’re checking your work email and planning to finish a report after dinner? And how can you nurture your special bond when you barely have time to have a real conversation?
As a working mom, I’m amazed at how fast time flies between home, work and life in general. Days turn into weeks which turn into months and years. Like many other working moms, I’ve had to stop and ask myself how to concretely make time for my marriage. Not just fit in whatever free minute I could save here and there, even if half-asleep.
While it still is a struggle, there are a few ways to systematically nurture your marriage, in the midst of busy family and work demands:
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Take care of YOU first
I remember a date night during which I broke down and admitted that I didn’t want to go on a date. Not because there was any particular issues (other than the usual “whose turn is it to wash the dishes”), but because I was exhausted. As a mom of toddlers at the time, I felt like the whole “getting pretty”/”looking human” pre-date process, along with the effort of keeping my eyelids open during dinner (and dessert), were additional to-do’s on my unending list. I felt bad for feeling this way, considering how hard it was to get babysitters, and guilty for being so crass to the hubby.
Yet, what I came to understand was that I was simply not taking care of myself enough to have anything left for my marriage. You just can’t give what you don’t have. In this case, you cannot give to someone else what you’re not first giving to yourself.
It became obvious to me that part of nurturing my marriage, actually the most important part, was to take care of myself first. It took me a while to figure out what that looks like for me and my particular circumstances. Sometimes, it’s simply reading a book, sitting quietly somewhere, or hanging out with girlfriends. Yet when I started doing it, I also started finding more energy, desire and strength to nurture my marriage. Kinda like the whole exercising to have more energy thing, don’t ask me how it works, but it does…
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Be intentional about it
When you have a work deliverable due in the morning, the kids both have fever, and your hair hasn’t been washed in days, it’s hard to be intentional about anything, including marital bliss. After all, it takes work to nurture a relationship, especially a marriage. It requires attention, time, energy, availability, and the capacity to not fall asleep on your spouse sharing their career frustrations or long-term dreams. Yet, it’s necessary.
For me, it’s a matter of setting an intention for my relationship as often as I can, whether through prayer, journaling, or even just in thought. Nothing elaborate either. It’s a simple commitment to try and be more present in our marriages. No false lashes, perfect curls, or flat stomachs required. Just to be there, fully there…
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Plan your schedule accordingly
I used to chuckle at couples who would actually plan out their dates and time together. While some room should be left for spontaneity, when you’re juggling the pressure of keeping your job, your sanity, and your kids on track, scheduling becomes a must. Yes, even for dates (or just alone bathroom time)…
And no, planning does not take the romance away. What it does take away is the stress of having to take the kids to a non-kid friendly restaurant as you wobble on your stilettos and body-con dress because it’s probably the only opportunity you’ll have to wear them…
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Spend time away from the kids
As a self-proclaimed helicopter parent, I can proudly confirm that time away from the kids is not only necessary. It’s indispensable. There are only so many cartoons, and kiddie conversations one can have. You need adult conversations, and possibly beverages with pretty colors, albeit in moderation.
Here too, scheduling is key. Schedule some alone time, well in advance (as you may have to run a whole campaign to get anyone to agree to keep ALL of your kids for more than two minutes). The point is, give yourself permission to have this time alone to re-connect (or just sleep, in clean hotel sheets someone else will be washing the next day)…
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Have honest, raw conversations
Whoever said happy couples don’t argue, please send me the memo I missed. Nurturing your marriage when you have so much to do you’re thankful your head is screwed on right (or you hope) also means being honest about:
- Things not working out
- Things being too busy
- Your or him not exactly being happy at the moment
- Your aversion to laundry, etc…
The point is, you can schedule all your dates, find the best babysitters, and jet-set to Phuket kids-free; yet if you’re not willing to face the ordinary, mundane times when even Netflix needs extra TLC, then “Houston we have a serious problem”. And yes, those are going to happen, more often than you think…
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Respect your couple’s dynamics
Different couples have different dynamics. Which also means the whole #couplegoals hashtag is absolutely irrelevant. The same couple smiling on camera two minutes ago is probably now swapping choice words around who forgot to put gas in the car (not that I would know). But I digress…
As busy working moms, it’s even more important to understand and respect our own couple dynamics. Some couples are perfect spending the whole day apart and reuniting in the evening to share highlights of the day. Others send each other emoji-filled love notes every hour on the hour. Some have joint bank accounts, others are adamant about each person’s financial independence. Whatever your own couple dynamics is, get it, talk about it and respect it. Oh, and skip the #couplegoals posts on Instagram too…
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Let go and start over
If relationships are filled with trial and error, then marriage is a whole obstacle course. When you add to it the ups and downs of careers, businesses, parenting, and uneven landscaping (some of us have different problems), it gets complicated. As a matter of fact, that’s what I tell myself pretty much daily: “It’s complicated…”
Nurturing your marriage as a busy working mom also means starting over, letting go of the mistakes and errors on the way, and doing it all over again. From trying to fit in date night in five years, to picking the right school district, not to mention changing jobs, being out of work, and having the ugliest front yard in the neighborhood, it’s a process. Allow it!
How do you nurture your marriage as a busy working mom?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 4, 2018 | Career
Welcome to our career, entrepreneurship, lifestyle and fashion weekly news roundup! Think of it as your online watercooler/work gossip station/coffee break spot for now…Want to add anything to our list? Email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
- In notable news this week, the Huffington Post reports Riri made history as the first Black woman to land the British Vogue issue;
- Recruiter shares tips for talking gender equity at work;
- Forbes shares the 12 hidden crises most working women face;
- Corporette shares tips on optimizing your sleep;
- Calling all mom entrepreneurs! Ellevate Network shares why morning routines are so important to mompreneurs;
- Did you know Facebook is pushing out a new dating feature? Business Insider shares the deets;
- Facing age discrimination in hiring practices? US News suggests ways to fight it;
- Ellevate Network lists three leadership goals to set for each stage of your career;
- Email folders driving you insane? Damsel in Dior has a few pointers;
- Have you gotten your first Instapot yet? Making Sense of Cents share her 10 favorite Instant recipes;
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
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