by Solange Lopes | Aug 7, 2018 | Career
Every year on Black Women’s Equal Pay Day, I stop and think about what this day really means. In essence, it marks the length of time a Black woman has to work in order for her earnings to equal that of a white man for that year.
As of April 2018, per the National Partnership organization, for each dollar made by a white man, a black woman employed in a full-time position makes 63 cents. This is a much wider gap than that faced by white and some Asian-American women. However, Latina and Native American women face an even wider gap, at 54 and 57 cents respectively. According to the National Women’s Law Center, Black women can lose up to $870,000 in potential earnings over the course of their careers.
There are many reasons accounting for this gap, encompassing disparities in child care access, poverty, unemployment, as well as discrimination and harassment, to cite a few. However, despite these, there are a few ways that Black women can fight the pay gap:
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Acknowledge the problem
As a Black woman at work, I have not always been aware of the reality of the pay gap. While it has become more widely known in recent years, I have to admit that there was a time when I barely suspected it. From conversations with fellow working women, I know I’m not the only one.
Whether because we’re not aware of it or we choose to ignore it out of fear or convenience, not acknowledging the problem is a problem in itself. The more we’re aware, and the more we do our research around it, the more equipped we are to address it.
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Know your worth
As women in general, and Black women in particular, it can be easy to underestimate ourselves and our rightful professional contributions. From settling for sub-par compensation to fearing to ask for what we deserve, there are many ways in which we can unconsciously fail to know and ask for our worth.
It starts with research and being aware of the professional practices in place. What are the salaries for a certain position, in a given industry or business? What compensation and benefit practices are used? What packages are being offered to employees in similar locations, industries or companies? These are all questions that should be researched into and probed to find the corresponding answers. These will also be useful to assess your worth in terms of what is already being done in similar environments.
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Be fearless
Fear is one of the major factors nurturing the pay gap. As a result of history, convenience and sheer intimidation, many hesitate to speak up in favor of reducing this pay gap. Some of these fears are certainly legitimate, especially when one’s paycheck depends on our not rocking the boat.
However, it’s important to learn to set aside the fear of challenge, change and even confrontation when necessary to resolve a gap that is unjustly affecting so many women.
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Don’t be afraid to negotiate
It wasn’t until I was well into my career that I realized the importance of negotiation, along with the art of it. Not negotiating also means leaving money on the table, from compensation to benefits and so much more.
Don’t’ be afraid to negotiate and ask for what you deserve. As stated earlier, it begins with doing your research and truly assessing your professional worth in terms of compensation, benefits and other perks.
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Use confrontation strategically
As part of reducing the pay gap, there are instances in which confrontation may occur. However, it’s important to use it strategically and only when necessary. An informed, well-researched and documented approach goes a long way towards establishing the foundation for a healthy and productive conversation.
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Vote for equal pay legislation
One aspect of the Black Women’s Pay Gap that is often overlooked is the legislation part. We often underestimate the impact of laws and those who make the laws on what we actually receive in our paycheck.
Being involved and aware of legislation, especially equal pay legislation, is crucial. This is a powerful way to understand the high-level dynamics affecting the compensation system, and most importantly, to positively affect it.
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Keep your options open
Career mobility, done well, is also a powerful way to combat the pay gap. Understand that your options are not limited to your current company or pay structure. Do your research and understand the various choices you may have, and how these can contribute to reducing the pay gap.
Now your turn: How do/can we fight the pay gap?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 7, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
As busy working moms, it can be challenging to nurture our marriages. Between raising children, breaking ceilings in our careers and businesses, not to mention dealing with the proverbial laundry and house chores (which we still do most of), nurturing your marriage can quickly be relegated to the end of your gigantic to-do list.
Seriously, who wants to plan romantic walks on the beach with your significant other when the kids can’t find underwear, you can’t find a babysitter, and both of you have MAJOR work meetings in the morning? How do you keep the romance (or any conversation) going when you’re checking your work email and planning to finish a report after dinner? And how can you nurture your special bond when you barely have time to have a real conversation?
As a working mom, I’m amazed at how fast time flies between home, work and life in general. Days turn into weeks which turn into months and years. Like many other working moms, I’ve had to stop and ask myself how to concretely make time for my marriage. Not just fit in whatever free minute I could save here and there, even if half-asleep.
While it still is a struggle, there are a few ways to systematically nurture your marriage, in the midst of busy family and work demands:
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Take care of YOU first
I remember a date night during which I broke down and admitted that I didn’t want to go on a date. Not because there was any particular issues (other than the usual “whose turn is it to wash the dishes”), but because I was exhausted. As a mom of toddlers at the time, I felt like the whole “getting pretty”/”looking human” pre-date process, along with the effort of keeping my eyelids open during dinner (and dessert), were additional to-do’s on my unending list. I felt bad for feeling this way, considering how hard it was to get babysitters, and guilty for being so crass to the hubby.
Yet, what I came to understand was that I was simply not taking care of myself enough to have anything left for my marriage. You just can’t give what you don’t have. In this case, you cannot give to someone else what you’re not first giving to yourself.
It became obvious to me that part of nurturing my marriage, actually the most important part, was to take care of myself first. It took me a while to figure out what that looks like for me and my particular circumstances. Sometimes, it’s simply reading a book, sitting quietly somewhere, or hanging out with girlfriends. Yet when I started doing it, I also started finding more energy, desire and strength to nurture my marriage. Kinda like the whole exercising to have more energy thing, don’t ask me how it works, but it does…
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Be intentional about it
When you have a work deliverable due in the morning, the kids both have fever, and your hair hasn’t been washed in days, it’s hard to be intentional about anything, including marital bliss. After all, it takes work to nurture a relationship, especially a marriage. It requires attention, time, energy, availability, and the capacity to not fall asleep on your spouse sharing their career frustrations or long-term dreams. Yet, it’s necessary.
For me, it’s a matter of setting an intention for my relationship as often as I can, whether through prayer, journaling, or even just in thought. Nothing elaborate either. It’s a simple commitment to try and be more present in our marriages. No false lashes, perfect curls, or flat stomachs required. Just to be there, fully there…
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Plan your schedule accordingly
I used to chuckle at couples who would actually plan out their dates and time together. While some room should be left for spontaneity, when you’re juggling the pressure of keeping your job, your sanity, and your kids on track, scheduling becomes a must. Yes, even for dates (or just alone bathroom time)…
And no, planning does not take the romance away. What it does take away is the stress of having to take the kids to a non-kid friendly restaurant as you wobble on your stilettos and body-con dress because it’s probably the only opportunity you’ll have to wear them…
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Spend time away from the kids
As a self-proclaimed helicopter parent, I can proudly confirm that time away from the kids is not only necessary. It’s indispensable. There are only so many cartoons, and kiddie conversations one can have. You need adult conversations, and possibly beverages with pretty colors, albeit in moderation.
Here too, scheduling is key. Schedule some alone time, well in advance (as you may have to run a whole campaign to get anyone to agree to keep ALL of your kids for more than two minutes). The point is, give yourself permission to have this time alone to re-connect (or just sleep, in clean hotel sheets someone else will be washing the next day)…
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Have honest, raw conversations
Whoever said happy couples don’t argue, please send me the memo I missed. Nurturing your marriage when you have so much to do you’re thankful your head is screwed on right (or you hope) also means being honest about:
- Things not working out
- Things being too busy
- Your or him not exactly being happy at the moment
- Your aversion to laundry, etc…
The point is, you can schedule all your dates, find the best babysitters, and jet-set to Phuket kids-free; yet if you’re not willing to face the ordinary, mundane times when even Netflix needs extra TLC, then “Houston we have a serious problem”. And yes, those are going to happen, more often than you think…
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Respect your couple’s dynamics
Different couples have different dynamics. Which also means the whole #couplegoals hashtag is absolutely irrelevant. The same couple smiling on camera two minutes ago is probably now swapping choice words around who forgot to put gas in the car (not that I would know). But I digress…
As busy working moms, it’s even more important to understand and respect our own couple dynamics. Some couples are perfect spending the whole day apart and reuniting in the evening to share highlights of the day. Others send each other emoji-filled love notes every hour on the hour. Some have joint bank accounts, others are adamant about each person’s financial independence. Whatever your own couple dynamics is, get it, talk about it and respect it. Oh, and skip the #couplegoals posts on Instagram too…
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Let go and start over
If relationships are filled with trial and error, then marriage is a whole obstacle course. When you add to it the ups and downs of careers, businesses, parenting, and uneven landscaping (some of us have different problems), it gets complicated. As a matter of fact, that’s what I tell myself pretty much daily: “It’s complicated…”
Nurturing your marriage as a busy working mom also means starting over, letting go of the mistakes and errors on the way, and doing it all over again. From trying to fit in date night in five years, to picking the right school district, not to mention changing jobs, being out of work, and having the ugliest front yard in the neighborhood, it’s a process. Allow it!
How do you nurture your marriage as a busy working mom?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Aug 3, 2018 | Career, Find Your Purpose
Have you ever introduced yourself by saying something along the lines of “I’m a doctor”, or “I’m a professor”, or whatever your profession may be? Is your job title one of the first things you utter when introducing yourself? Do you have a hard time talking about yourself outside of your job?If you’ve answered any of these questions with a resounding “yes”, or have nodded at any of these, chances are you may have been using your career to define you. And so many working women, and men for that matter.
For the longest time, I extracted much of my value from my career and professional credentials. As a Black woman especially, it seems having a viable and successful career, despite the odds you may be facing, may give you added credibility. It’s hard to enter any networking room without letting your career or professional credits precede you. As much as it may be necessary in some settings, it may also prompt us to define ourselves, not by who we are, but by what we do. This became even more obvious to me as I transitioned careers and had the hardest time detaching myself from what I used to do. I literally had to train my mind to think of myself in a different way, to the point of having to ask myself who I had become in the process of getting so absorbed in my career.
The danger is we often get so imbibed with our work that we fail to keep in touch with ourselves as we grow and evolve. This gets us even further stuck into routines and processes that may not be beneficial for us, since we have lost touch with what our current needs, skills, talents and abilities truly are. As a result, we deprive ourselves of fruitful and beneficial opportunities to create the work and life of our dreams.
In a world that’s obsessed with titles and external appearances on glossy Instagram pages, how can one manage not to let his/her career, as successful as it may be? Does it mean that we would abdicate success in our careers, or miss out on opportunities? Actually not. As a matter of fact, it can actually boost your career. The clearer you are about who you are, even as you grow and evolve, the more you’re able to pour into your career, in a more intentional and successful way.
Here are 7 ways not to let your career define you:
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Re-evaluate your mindset about your career
Much of our mindsets about our careers and the work we do is inherited. Your parents may have passed on some of their beliefs about work. Or it may have been your family and friends, or even your current or past co-workers. These beliefs may have pushed you to define yourself according to your career. In certain cultures for instance, as in many African cultures, many parents direct their children towards prestigious careers such as engineering, medicine, or other similar professions…
This is why it’s so important to re-evaluate and change your mindset about work, and your career in general. Yes, you need to pay the bills and care for yourself and your family. However, you also need, and deserve, to maximize your potential and be fulfilled at work. Which brings us to…
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Learn to decipher your Purpose
There has been a lot of talk recently about purpose and life mission. It seems everywhere you turn, there’s a new slogan about following your purpose and being purposeful. However, the prospect of finding and applying something as big as your purpose can be daunting, and quite frankly, discouraging. It’s much simpler to do the “normal” thing, have a cushy job, climb the corporate or business ladder, pay your bills, and live a regular life.
There was a moment in my own career when I asked myself the question: “Is this it? Is this all there is?” Not that I was ungrateful for the many blessings I had professionally. Yet, as you may have experienced, there was a yearning in me to do more and stretch my potential further, as far as it could go. I just didn’t know how.
The key to learning to decipher one’s Purpose (it’s a process) is to learn to recognize who you are and what you are made of. This often starts with your passions and desires. What do you love to do? What natural skills and talents do you have? What sets you on fire? For me, it was recognizing that I’ve always had a talent and passion for writing. Through this, I uncovered a desire to teach and share as well.
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Understand that your purpose can take different forms at different times of your life
What I came to understand is that Purpose can take many different forms at different points in your life. While your ultimate purpose may be to serve women, for instance, in this season, you may have to stay committed to reaching the top of your industry. In the next season, purpose may take you into business creation and expansion.
The point is, while it’s important to understand your purpose, it’s also crucial not to define yourself by where you’re at on the way to where you’re going.
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Align your career with your purpose
Yes, this is easier said than done. While we often look at the Oprahs of this world, living and working in the fullness of their purpose, it can be a tad bit more challenging when it comes to our lives. After all, we don’t wake up like Beyonce, don’t have Soul Sundays like Oprah, and definitely need our lives fixed by Iyanla. Yet who said aligning our careers with our purpose meant emulating Oprah’s work? Or being as accomplished as Beyonce right away?
As a matter of fact, it may just be as simple as starting with some subtle changes to our schedules and work. Passionate about writing? Start freelancing on the side. In love with fashion design? Consider volunteering on the side or even as part of your 9-to-5 if possible. Eyeing a top position in a discipline you don’t consider yourself qualified for? Consider internal rotations at your company, informational interviews or getting a mentor in this field.
The point is, aligning your career with your purpose is not an overnight process. However, you can begin with a few small steps, from hustling on the side, to volunteering for projects at work, and even sharing your interests and passions. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step…
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Cultivate authentic relationships
One of the reasons why we may tend to define ourselves by the work we do is sometimes because we lack the authentic and genuine support to help us become the best version of ourselves. You’ve heard the saying, you’re the sum of the five people you surround yourself with. The less authentic and the more superficial your relationships, the more you’ll tend to not show up as your most authentic self.
As a result, you may be looking for any external foundation to define yourself, such as your career. The right circle and networks will push you to become the best version of yourself, which in turn will allow you to do your best work intentionally. Yet, it all starts with you!
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Don’t limit yourself
Many of us remain stuck in the box of our careers. If we’ve started a career in a certain field, we feel compelled to stay in the same field for fear of losing the experience and credentials we’ve built over time. I know I was in the same situation. After almost a decade in the corporate world, transitioning careers seemed impossible because I had defined myself this way for so long.
Limiting yourself to your past and current experiences as well as to defining yourself in a certain professional light will keep you from your personal best. Learn to see the many opportunities around you to apply your skills and talents, whether acquired or natural. Besides, you may not realize how much you’re able to re-purpose your experience, even at the personal level, to further professional and personal pursuits.
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Be open to opportunities
Along the same lines, being open to new opportunities, as foreign as they may seem, will also keep you out of a restrictive “career box”. In Year of Yes, Shonda Rhimes explains how she committed to opening herself to new experiences by simply saying yes to these opportunities. In turn, she was able to tap into her potential and accomplish exploits, as well as achieve progress, she otherwise wouldn’t have been able to.
For me, it’s a matter of being willing to take risks and embrace challenges I may not always be comfortable with. The point is not for you to leave your job tomorrow. Rather, it’s about starting out by looking for ways to say yes to more opportunities to express your interests and passions, be of service, and ultimately achieve your dreams.
Now your turn: Have you allowed your career to define you?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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by Solange Lopes | Jul 30, 2018 | Career
I remember stepping up on the graduation stage after getting my last degree, so excited about the upcoming opportunities that awaited me. I had gotten a job offer from a prestigious firm, was done with classes, and was so ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I even had scraped my last dollars for the month to purchase my first suit, and my friend had chipped in for a new Enzo Angiolini square-toed pumps for my first day…I was ready, or so I thought…Little did I know there were many things I would come to wish I did know as I was starting my new career.
Every time I speak with fellow working women and men, one of the most prevalent remarks I get is: “I wish I knew this before I started my career”. Hindsight being 20/20, there’s always something we can learn. I believe it’s our responsibility to go back and share these lessons, especially with those who may just be starting out, or may be wondering if their own lessons are valid.
Here are 20 of the things I wish I knew when I started my career:
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You can pick the career of your choice
When I started out in my own career, I thought I didn’t have much of a choice. It made sense to enter a profession that was in accordance with my prior curriculum, was well-paid and offered decent, if not great, advantages and benefits.
After all, that’s the advice that many, if not most of us, are given as we head to college and into “grown-up” life. We’re told to get a good job with solid benefits, make a good living, climb the corporate or business ladder, and settle down.
What I wish I’d known: You don’t have to pick the most reasonable, or best-paid career around. What you have to do is be faithful to who you are, and choose work that aligns with your skills, talents, personality and ultimately purpose. If you don’t know what that is just yet, know that you can experiment, while still paying your bills, until you find the right career for you.
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You should get information about your career before entering it
Imagine purchasing a home without ever visiting it first? Or entering into a long-term contract without reading it entirely, including the fine print? You probably wouldn’t. Yet, how many of us enter careers we know very little about. We learn about the theory to apply in these jobs, yes. Yet, we have no idea what a day-to-day looks like at said jobs, what companies are in the market, what the responsibilities are, and how to navigate the related politics (yes, there’s such a thing).
The result? Employees who start and stay in careers they loathe, blaming everything that possibly goes wrong, on everything and everyone around, from the boss to the sabotaging co-workers and sucky weather.
What I wish I’d known: Like a new car, a career can be the object of a test-drive. You can find someone who is already in the career you’re getting ready to enter, or think about entering, and ask them questions about their day-to-day jobs. In more formal “career speak”, it’s also known as an informational interview. You can also conduct your own research, speak to your college professors or even consult social media to get more information about your prospective career. Not only will you be better prepared, but it will help you avoid many career heartaches.
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You should get a mentor early on
I didn’t realize the power of mentorship until I was well into my corporate career. Neither had most of my corporate sisters. It wasn’t until the concept of mentors and mentorship started making it into the mainstream, with the whole “women empowerment” and “lean in” theme that I started looking into it.
The reality is, mentors seem to be reserved to a select few. While some companies are making great strides in implementing official mentorship programs, most working women (and men) struggle to find the right mentor for them. That is, if they even have time to think about it.
What I wish I’d known: Getting a mentor does not have to be an exercise in sheer frustration. There are mentors everywhere around you. The trick is to learn to recognize the right one for you. Basically, anyone that you may be looking up to can serve as a mentor for you. Besides, you’d be surprised how much people in higher positions (well, at least, some of them) are willing to help you. It can be as simple as sending an email to an executive you admire and whose career you’re inspired by at your company or in your industry. You can also tap into your network to find the right mentor for you.
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You can mentor someone (even as you start your career)
As you can find the right mentor for you, you can also serve as a mentor. The misconception is that until you’ve reached astronomical levels of success yourself, you cannot mentor someone else. Right? Wrong! You don’t need to reach CEO level to help someone on your way up, or share some precious lessons you’ve learnt along the way. As a matter of fact, every time you learn something, you should teach.
Besides, serving as a mentor can also help your own career, as it’s a sign of leadership that management may be looking for to promote or advance you. It’s also a great way to solidify what you’re learning yourself, and build your own platform if you’re in business.
What I wish I’d known: In the same way that a sophomore has much to teach a freshman about the college experience, you also have much to share about your own experience. As a working woman, it’s actually your responsibility to keep the door open for other women coming behind you. After experiencing serving as a mentor, I wish I had done it sooner. It’s much less intimidating and so much more rewarding than it appears.
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It’s not about how hard you work…
Now this one hurt to realize, even in hindsight. Starting out in the corporate world, I thought success was all about hard work. As in pulling in late hours (and being seen doing so), and sacrificing everything else at the altar of professional achievement. I know I’m not alone in this, especially in the era of the over-achieving, ‘do-it-all”, “empowered” woman…
Don’t get me wrong, work, hard work is important! You can’t just coast your way through to the top of your field, unless you’re willing to crash at some point. However, it’s not the most important part of career success and fulfillment.
What I wish I’d known: Working hard, at times too hard, at the detriment of being social and managing office politics (see #6) can actually make you look lacking at best, and incompetent at worst. Especially as a working woman, professional over-eagerness can easily be perceived as poor time management. Being more balanced in your approach to hard work can actually help, in addition to preserving your sanity, eye health and greying strands.
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But it’s more about how you manage office politics
Office Politics: there should be an entire class around this one subject in college. How to manage office politics in a smart, non-debilitating way eludes many at work. Since there is no college major for office politics so far, at least to my knowledge (although I still have hope), I would like to share it as one of the areas in which I have scored my most humiliating career moments, and one I definitely wish I’d known more about when I stepped into my very first cubicle.
Office politics are tricky. They’re definitely not an exact science; however, there are some fundamentals that everyone, especially working women, need to know upon starting their careers.
What I wish I’d known: I wish someone had told me to study the office politics of every company/department/team I worked in harder than I did their procedures and policies, it would have saved me some interesting moments, to say the least. What this means is to pay particular attention to the chain of power where you work, i.e. who reports to whom, whose interests are at play, and how inter-personal dynamics work. The point is to learn to manage people as well as, if not better, than you. More concretely, it’s about understanding the power plays in your work environment and navigate these in a smart way. This is where your emotional intelligence, and not necessarily your IQ comes into play!
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Networking is important…
Let me say it again: Networking is important! As an introvert, I used to dread networking and avoid it at all costs. What I didn’t realize was that not making it to the Christmas party, or regularly and consistently missing after-hours, was hurting my career more than it was helping it.
Is networking the end-all-be-all of your career? No (introvert breathing deep sigh of relief). Yet, it can help you in more ways than you think. Connections, genuine connections that is, can make the difference between you scoring that promotion or being subtly forced out.
What I wish I’d known: Investing time, effort and sometimes money in active networking can go a long way. As a matter of fact, it can have a big payoff in your current and future careers (see #13). Even as introverts, spending a limited (but effective) amount of time networking can help you meet great people who will impact you in many ways. Joining associations and groups in and outside of your field can also be extremely beneficial. If you must, schedule your networking ahead of time. Plan to attend at least one networking event a month, and follow up on the connections you make.
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But it’s more important to build genuine connections
Yet, networking doesn’t have to be this mechanical process whereby you meet random people and talk about the weather while finding ways to benefit each other. If you start out with this idea, chances are you’ll equate networking with root canals or sugar-free candy.
Networking is a great opportunity to build genuine connections and meet fascinating people. It’s a give-and-take process through which you can find the fulfillment of helping others while also being helped. A win-win overall.
What I wish I’d known: You network with human beings, not robots. Which makes the whole thing less intimidating and daunting, and even fun! Focus on the human interaction, not just the benefits or costs. Be open-minded, show up as yourself and let it be what it will.
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Don’t hesitate to speak up…
If I could get a penny for every time I had an idea to share but instead decided to keep quiet at work, I’d probably be rich (in bitcoins). When you start out in your career, speaking up can seem daunting. It can be challenging to feel confident enough to share your thoughts, views and opinions, especially as an introvert and newcomer.
It took me years to tackle my fear of speaking up. I was scared of being perceived the wrong way, not knowing my stuff, or even be fired for saying the wrong thing. The result? I either listened to someone else get the credit for the ideas stewing in my brain, or buried them so deep I couldn’t remember them afterwards.
What I wish I’d known: Speaking up requires effort, yes, but it’s also necessary. For those for whom it seems absolutely impossible or too hard, there are organizations or groups such as Toastmaster that can help with this. For the rest who think that keeping your head down and crunching as much work as humanly possible will make up for it, think again!
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But know when it’s best to keep quiet
As much as I’m an advocate for speaking up at work, I also believe there are times when it’s best to keep quiet. Such as when everyone is gossiping about one thing or the other. Or when the rumor mill is at its most active around. Or when conflicts and office politics are raging and speaking up would only help you dig an early professional grave.
In general, speaking up against your boss, especially behind their backs, is not a good career-advancing strategy. While there are instances when integrity will actually get you alienated and excluded from the group, taking the high road and keeping your peace is always the best solution.
What I wish I’d known: Part of managing office politics is knowing when to keep quiet. When power plays are raging and negativity is around, it’s best to keep mum!
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Make your boss’s life easier
When in doubt, ask yourself what will make your boss’s life easier. As you may have found out, a lot depends upon your boss. Which is why so many careers are (temporarily) damaged by bad bosses (see #13 for relief). The point is, don’t see your boss as a distant figure that intimidates you. Rather, learn to think and devise ways to make her/his job easier, which in turn will make yours more rewarding and easier.
Are there exceptions to this? Certainly. However, it tends to pay off more than hurt you in the end.
What I wish I’d known: There’s no point in being scared of your boss or playing intricate games to win their favor. Do your work as best as you can, take things off his/her plate, and keep crushing your goals!
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The Queen Bee Syndrome is real (but you can work it)
As I’ve come to learn, the Queen Bee syndrome is alive and well, especially among women of color at work. Its premise is to make women (and everyone else) believe that there is only one spot at the top of the corporate or business ladder for women. This in turn reinforces the competition and animosity between women at work.
One of the reasons why many women don’t trust other women at work is because of this Queen Bee Syndrome. However, there are many opportunities to shine and sit at the table of professional success.
What I wish I’d known: You will face harsh opposition from some women at work. Yet most of the time, this will have less to do with you than with the environment you’re in. This is why it’s so important not to take it personally, and not to allow it to deter you from your goals.
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You are never stuck (you can have many careers)
Many tend to think that once you’ve picked a career and have been in it for some time, you’re basically stuck. Sometimes, if that’s the career of your dreams, then being stuck can feel like a blessing. However, if your career is less than fulfilling, it may feel like a professional death sentence.
What I’ve learnt is that you’re never professionally stuck. Career reinvention is not only possible, sometimes it’s necessary. You’re not limited to one career either. Many have gone from corporate cubicles to entrepreneurial ventures, from company to company and industry to industry. You’re never stuck!
What I wish I’d known: Seeing the many possibilities in your career can go a long way towards having a fulfilling experience. You should never be afraid to explore other career opportunities, or even start over.
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If you don’t ask, you don’t get
People are not mind-readers. Which also means that if you don’t ask for what you want, chances are you may never get it. You may have been too intimidated to ask for the promotion, raise or the flex schedule. However, the simple act of asking can change your career in dramatic ways.
Opening up to ask for what you need at work also demonstrates powerful leadership skills.
What I wish I’d known: It’s OK to ask for what you need. Whether it’s vacation days, more money or more flexibility, your requests have value, and can help you perform better. Besides the worst answer you can get is “No!”
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You can negotiate for a lot more than you think
Negotiation is not just reserved to salaries and perks. You can negotiate for pretty much anything, in a sensible way of course. A few years back, I was actually surprised to learn that you can negotiate extended maternity leaves.
Negotiation is a skill, as well as a two-way, give-and-take process. I’ve learnt that in order to receive, you must get. Which means preparing for any negotiation conversation a list of everything you have brought or will bring to the table, in exchange for what you’re asking for.
What I wish I’d known: The right timing is paramount for effective negotiation. So is being adequately prepared with appropriate research and documentation. For instance, performance review time is not the best salary negotiation time. Instead, budgeting season is a better time to ask for more money, for the simple reason that it’s the time when money is allocated to departments and teams. Researching the market and preparing adequately will also give you an edge, as well as muster your confidence.
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Your job is paying you to learn
There are no bad jobs because every single job has valuable lessons to teach. From how to manage a team, deal with office politics, or learn about business writing, the skills you can get from any occupation are numerous. Once you have this mindset, then you will learn to leverage any job you have.
The most powerful success secret is the ability to leverage every experience and extract the best lessons out of it. Learn to treat your job, any job, as an opportunity to learn while being paid to absorb knowledge.
What I wish I’d known: You are paid to learn. Not to please your boss, score the promotion, or even make more money. Don’t get me wrong, these are important goals to have! However, the brightest (and most important) side to any job is how much you can learn from it. As you’re learning (and being paid to do so), use this as an opportunity to excel, develop yourself and re-purpose all the skills you’re acquiring in the other areas of your life.
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You should start a side hustle
Had I known the many benefits of having a side hustle, I would have started sooner. Despite the additional investment of time and energy, there are numerous advantages to starting a side hustle. From extra income to learning how to run a business, your side hustle can also help your career.
This blog was born out of a side hustle which later turned into a business. I also learnt so much about myself and developed abilities I didn’t think I had, which I was able to re-purpose in my jobs.
What I wish I’d known: It’s OK to explore other sides of your personality, talents and skills through a side hustle. Although you have to ensure that your side hustle is not in conflict with your job, you can greatly benefit from the business and entrepreneurial lessons a side hustle can provide.
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It’s OK to fail (and start over)
Career failure, and failure in general, is not fatal. As a matter of fact, it may actually be a great way to improve yourself and start over in a better way. Instead of beating yourself up over every mistake, every negative remark from your boss or co-workers, change your outlook from career failure to opportunity for improvement, and even mastery.
What I wish I’d known: There is no point in dwelling over career misses and failures. Instead, keep moving forward and apply the lessons learned to your next professional challenge.
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Sometimes your only means of transportation is a leap of faith
Your career will not always be a straight, predictable lane to the top of the corporate or business ladder. Neither should it be. There are times when you will actually have to take a (or many) leap of faith into the unknown.
As a conservative woman concerned with financial security and stability, taking a leap of faith in my career was unthinkable. However, going from the corporate world to entrepreneurship and teaching proved to be much more rewarding and fulfilling than I thought.
What I wish I’d known: Taking risks in your career is not only OK, it may even be necessary at times. Whether it’s changing jobs, industries, or entire sectors, change, as risky as it may be, may just be the impetus needed in your work to reach the next level.
20. Being a Black woman at work changes the career game.
As a Black woman at work, there are unique professional experiences very few, besides other Black women at work, will be able to relate to. Things such as being judged by the way you look, or having your competencies assessed through your appearance, and yes, sometimes having to work twice as hard to be considered “good” at what you do.
While I’ve been fortunate to experience positive and bias-free environments, I’ve also lived through the other side of the “professional coin”. Although it’s left me frustrated, doubtful of my own capabilities, and at times scared for my future, it’s mostly taught me some of the most precious lessons about human resilience, courage and dignity.
What I wish I’d known: As a Black woman at work, your professional journey will be unique. There are times when you will not understand it, and others when you will want to throw in the towel. However, it’s also your responsibility to uphold the highest standards of excellence, and keep the door open for other women as and when you make it through.
What did you wish you would have known when you started your career?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
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