As I started my career as a young professional woman, I was barely aware that I could negotiate my salary, let alone anything else. As I became a mother, it didn’t occur to me until a long time that I could negotiate for benefits including flexibility and other family-friendly benefits. While I was too preoccupied with being accepted and valued at work, I did not think I had the room, the authority or the permission
In today’s fast-paced work environment, achieving a work-life balance is crucial, especially for working momsjuggling both career and family responsibilities. This is where negotiating flexible schedules and family-friendly policies can significantly improve working moms’ quality of life. For many, the traditional 9-to-5 work model may not align with the demands of parenting, self-care, social relations and life in general.
According to the U.S. Labor Bureau of Statistics, 73% of moms with children under 18 years of age were employed in 2022. Among these, many working mothers are also the breadwinners in their households, as confirmed by data from the Center for American Progress. With such an overwhelming number of mothers in the workforce, the need for family-friendly policies cannot be overstated. As a matter of fact, research clearly shows family friendly policies such as dependent care and leave benefits have a significant positive and moderating effect on work-family conflict created by work demand.
From enabling moms to pick up their children from school, attend doctor’s appointments, or simply spend more quality time with their families, flexible schedules and family-friendly policies allow working mothers to better integrate work and family life. They also help relieve moms of sometimes overwhelming stress from juggling work and family responsibilities, thus also promoting mental well-being. Lastly, they also tend to increase job satisfaction and loyalty, leading to a more committed and productive workforce. This is not to mention promoting gender equality as well, thus contributing to closing the gender gap in the workplace, allowing mothers to progress in their careers while still nurturing their families.
If you’re a working mom looking to negotiate a more flexible work arrangement, here are a few tips that may help:
1. Know Your Needs and Boundaries
Before initiating negotiations, it’s crucial to have a clear understanding of your needs and boundaries.
What type of flexibility do you need? (e.g., remote work, adjusted hours)
How will this benefit both you and your employer?
What are your non-negotiable boundaries?
Having a firm grasp of your requirements will make your negotiation more effective.
2. Research your Company Policies
Familiarize yourself with your company’s policies regarding flexible work arrangements. Some organizations already have guidelines in place you may consult online or through their human resources department. Understanding these policies can help you navigate the negotiation process more effectively.
3. Prepare a Compelling Proposal
Create a well-thought-out proposal that outlines the benefits of a flexible schedule. Consider how it will positively impact your productivity, work-life balance, and job satisfaction. Use data and examples to support your case.
4. Highlight Your Performance
Emphasize your track record of delivering results. Make it clear that your request for flexibility won’t compromise your ability to meet work objectives. Demonstrate your commitment to maintaining or even enhancing your performance.
5. Suggest Solutions to Potential Concerns
Anticipate and address any potential concerns your employer may have. For instance, if your request is for remote work, propose solutions for maintaining effective communication and collaboration with your team. Show that you’ve thought through the practicalities.
6. Initiate the Conversation Professionally
Arrange a meeting with your supervisor to discuss your proposal. Approach the conversation professionally and non-confrontationally. Express your desire to find a solution that benefits both you and the organization.
7. Be open!
During the negotiation, actively listen to your employer’s perspective. Be open to compromises or adjustments based on their feedback. Flexibility should be a two-way street.
8. Propose a Trial Period
To ease your employer’s concerns, propose a trial period for the flexible schedule. This allows both parties to test the arrangement and make adjustments if necessary. It also provides an opportunity to demonstrate its effectiveness.
9. Be Aware of your Legal Rights
Familiarize yourself with local labor laws and regulations regarding flexible work arrangements. Knowing your rights can help ensure that your negotiated agreement aligns with legal standards and protections.
10. Document the Agreement
Once you and your employer reach an agreement, make sure it’s documented in writing. Include all the terms and conditions of your flexible schedule, ensuring clarity for both parties.
In addition to flexible schedules, you may also negotiate family-friendly policies to better support you as a working mom. Here are some tips as you prepare to get to the negotiation table:
1. Know the Available Benefits
Research the family-friendly benefits offered by your organization. These may include maternity and paternity leave, childcare support, lactation rooms, or flexible spending accounts for dependent care.
2. Highlight the Benefits for the Company
When negotiating family-friendly policies, emphasize how these benefits can positively impact the company. For example, shorter maternity leave may lead to quicker return to work and reduced turnover.
3. Connect with your Peers
Talk to colleagues who have successfully negotiated family-friendly policies. They can offer insights, share their experiences, and provide guidance on the negotiation process.
4. Align with the Company Culture
Frame your request in a way that aligns with your company’s values and culture. Emphasize how these policies can contribute to a more inclusive and supportive workplace.
5. Consider a Personal Support System
If possible, involve HR or a mentor in the negotiation process. Having a support system can help ensure that your needs are heard and addressed effectively.
6. Negotiate Flexibility Within Policies
While some family-friendly policies may be standard, there may be room for negotiation within these policies. For example, if your company offers childcare support, negotiate the flexibility to choose the childcare provider that best suits your family’s needs.
7. Stay Informed About any potential Changes
Be aware of any changes or updates to family-friendly policies within your organization. This can help you stay current and take advantage of new opportunities.
8. Document Policy Agreements
Just like with flexible schedules, ensure that any agreements related to family-friendly policies are documented in writing. This creates a clear record of what was negotiated and agreed upon.
Negotiating flexible schedules and family-friendly policies as a working With effective strategies, you can navigate the negotiation process effectively and create a work environment that supports your needs as both a dedicated professional and a loving parent.
Are you negotiating family-friendly policies and flexible work arrangements as a working mom?
I remember perusing article over article on negotiation tips while preparing for interviews as a young career woman. I had to do my research, come in with a certain number in mind, be assertive and not give in. Yet, somehow, more times than not, I ended up not even bringing up the topic of salary or compensation in general, blindly accepting whatever was given to me. The worst part was being disappointed at myself, gradually convincing myself (and others) that negotiating was not my strong suit.
Negotiation is a fundamental aspect of both personal and professional life that most of us cannot avoid. It also often carries underlying gender dynamics that not only influence the outcome, but also taint the entire process. This is also why recognizing these dynamics and understanding how to navigate them is essential for achieving successful negotiations.
Previous research shows undeniable gender differences in negotiation, as men have been proven to enter negotiations in larger numbers than their female counterparts. In addition, they’ve also been shown to get better deals when negotiating than women. It’s no surprise then that these disparities have given rise to significant gender gaps in wages and career advancement. However, more recent research concludes women do ask for raises and promotions in equal numbers than their male counterparts, but don’t get their requests satisfied. Even more recent research by Berkeley Haas professor Laura Kray, and co-authored by Vanderbilt University Associate Professor Jessica Kennedy along with Berkeley Haas post-doctoral scholar Margaret Lee in the Academy of Management Discoveries journal, confirms this fact. Contrary to popular belief fueling the gender-pay gap myth that women are at fault for not negotiating more, this last research actually demonstrates women negotiate their salaries more often than men, only to get turned down more.
While this body of research comforts us as to the fact that women should stop being blamed for not negotiating, it helps debunk an outdated, and hurtful, myth that has kept many women away from the negotiation table for way too long. It also reminds us to continue to strengthen our negotiating muscle as women, which heavily depends understanding the fundamental gender differences in negotiation. The better we understand, acknowledge and share these gender differences, the better we can fight related outdated beliefs and promote better negotiation outcomes.
Here are three of the main ways in which gender plays a role in negotiation, and how to effectively and purposely navigate these gender dynamics:
Stereotypes and Expectations
Gender stereotypes can, and do affect, the way negotiators are perceived. As women may be seen as nurturing and empathetic, while men tend to be perceived as more assertive and competitive, society tends to expect men and women to behave differently at the negotiation table. As a result of these expectations, women may feel pressured to be accommodating, while men might feel compelled to be more competitive.
Communication Styles
Research suggests men tend to adopt a more direct communication style in negotiations, while women may employ indirect or relational communication. Additionally, women are often perceived as better listeners, which can be an advantage in negotiation, allowing them to gather more information and build rapport.
Confidence and Self-Advocacy
Gender differences in confidence levels, also known as the confidence gap, can impact negotiation outcomes. A Cornell University study found men tend to overestimate their performance and abilities, while women tend to underestimate theirs.
In terms of self-advocacy, previous research has demonstrated when women advocate for themselves, they tend to experience negative backlash, which may keep them from doing so.
However, a recent 2021 study shows as younger women professionals enter the workforce, they may experience less backlash. However, persisting biases still make self-advocacy challenging for women. As such, men may be more inclined to self-promote and advocate for their needs, whereas women might downplay their achievements or put others’ interests first.
Here are some practical tips to counteract these three ways in which gender affects negotiation:
1. Be self-aware!
The first step in navigating gender dynamics around negotiation is self-awareness. Recognize how gender stereotypes may influence your own behavior and expectations. Reflect on your communication style, confidence levels, and self-advocacy tendencies in negotiation.
2. Preparation is Key
Irrespective of gender, preparation is crucial for successful negotiations. Research the negotiation topic thoroughly, gather data, and develop a clear strategy. Being well-prepared can boost confidence and mitigate the impact of gender-related biases.
3. Challenge Stereotypes
Challenge stereotypes by consciously defying them when they arise. If you’re a woman, don’t hesitate to assert yourself when necessary, and if you’re a man, embrace a collaborative approach when it suits the negotiation.
4. Embrace a Collaborative Approach
Negotiations need not be purely competitive. Embrace a collaborative approach that focuses on finding mutually beneficial solutions. This can be particularly effective in navigating gender dynamics, as it aligns with relational communication styles often associated with women.
5. Build Rapport
Building rapport is essential in negotiation, and it aligns with many communication strengths often attributed to women, such as active listening and empathy. Establishing a connection can create a more favorable negotiation environment.
6. Use Effective Communication
Regardless of gender, effective communication is key. Be clear, concise, and assertive when necessary. Employ active listening skills to understand the other party’s perspective fully.
7. Negotiate on Merit
Focus on the merits of your argument rather than gender-related expectations. Showcase your skills, achievements, and the value you bring to the negotiation. Let the substance of your proposal speak for itself.
8. Seek Mentorship and Support
Seek mentorship or support from individuals who have experience navigating gender dynamics in negotiations. Their guidance can provide valuable insights and strategies for success.
9. Negotiate in Numbers
Whenever possible, negotiate in groups or teams. Multiple voices can help mitigate gender bias and provide collective strength in negotiations.
10. Be Persistent
Overcoming gender dynamics in negotiation may require persistence. Don’t be discouraged by setbacks, and continue refining your negotiation skills over time.
In conclusion, as confirmed by research and experience, gender dynamics undoubtedly influence negotiations. However, they need not determine the outcome. By recognizing these dynamics and employing strategies to navigate them effectively, women can negotiate with confidence and success. Embracing your strengths, challenging stereotypes, and focusing on the substance of your proposals can help you reshape the negotiation landscape to ensure that gender is not a limiting factor but a source of diversity and strength in the negotiating room.
In this episode of the podcast, I’m busting one common myth that women are not good at entrepreneurship. Backed by research, this episode discusses how women are entrepreneurs at heart, and discusses 3 principles for women entrepreneurs.
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I remember seeing women, many with babies hanging at their hips or suckling at their breasts, at the corners of sandy streets back home in Senegal, selling one product or another under the hot sun, from crackling roasted peanuts to fresh sorrel juice. At the time, I did not even know what the concept of entrepreneurship was. I just instinctively knew the important role these women were playing in the fabric of our society. I knew behind many of their yellowed smiles and inviting and astute banter, hid countless economic and social hardships that the meager revenue from their sporadic sales barely alleviated. These were the first women entrepreneurs I was ever exposed to. Every time I think about entrepreneurship, these are the women I think about…
Yet when I started my own entrepreneurial journey, as an immigrant and a career woman side hustling my way into business, I somehow forgot about these women…I drowned, consciously or not, into the noise of the world around me, giving into salesy gimmicks and marketing hoaxes. So do so many of us out there…Until I’ve had a wakeup call lately, and remembered the women of my childhood, selling at the corners of sandy streets and alleyways, heartily bantering, authentically sharing from the heart to feed their families…Every time I have to get back to business, literally and figuratively, I intentionally pause and remember these women. I remember their hearts, their art, their determination, their drive. I remember their signature marketing anchored in relentless humanity, away from marketing gimmicks and sales ploys…
According to the 2021/2022 Global Entrepreneurship Monitor (GEM) Women’s Entrepreneurship Report, women constitute two out of every five early-stage entrepreneurs active on a global scale. Women are also one in three high-growth entrepreneurs, and one in three innovation entrepreneurs focusing on national and international markets. In general, women in lower-income countries tend to report intentions to start a business at higher rates than women in high-income countries, with the Dominican Republic showing the highest startup rate for women (43.7% vs.41.7% for men). They are also found to exit businesses at lower rates than their male counterparts (3.6% for women vs. 4.4% for men), but this may also be impacted by their lower rates of business entry.
Unfortunately, the pandemic altered these statistics, with women’s entrepreneurial intentions decreasing from 19.1% to 16.7% in 2021 mostly in low-income countries. Women also unfortunately suffered an increase in business exit rates during the COVID-19 pandemic (from 2.9% to 3.6%), while men observed higher rates (from 3.5% to 4.4%). Despite this, almost half of women entrepreneurs at the early stage recognized new business opportunities created by the pandemic, demonstrating a similar alertness to new opportunities and ability to pivot as their male counterparts.
Overall, on a global scale, women entrepreneurs show a high level of activity in growth and high innovation businesses with a focus on national and international markets. While there are few gender-related differences in education and age, women entrepreneurs are generally less affluent than their male counterparts, except in low income countries. Most of the notable differences between men and women entrepreneurs are industry and business size-related, with fewer women with businesses in Information, Computer and Technology (2.7% of women vs. 4.7% of men) and with employees. In terms of stereotypical gendered perceptions around entrepreneurship, the largest gender divide was observed around access to investments, mostly in low income countries.
As a woman and/or mom, if you’re thinking of reconnecting with your entrepreneurial self, whether you’re getting back to your business or side hustle, or are looking for more ownership in your career, this is also your reminder, and encouragement, to do so:
Identify needs and problems
Women and moms have long been attuned to the needs and issues around them, which is a crucial factor in entrepreneurship. It is this attunement to the needs and issues around them, from their own financial needs and those of their families and communities, to gaps in the society around them, that fuels their aspirations to start businesses.
In the same way, identifying the needs and problems around you, whether it’s at work or in your own business or side hustle, is essential to reconnecting with the entrepreneur in you.
What are the needs in your team at work? In the classroom you teach? What are the problems you are experiencing in your life?
As lower business exit rates show the resiliency of women entrepreneurs, it also outlines one of the most crucial elements of women’s entrepreneurship. It’s the ability to stick it out despite obstacles, including lack of funding, damaging stereotypes and scarce support, that keeps women’s businesses afloat and thriving.
For me, the beautiful, resilient and creative women selling roasted peanuts, fresh sorrel juice and so many other products at the corners of sandy streets and alleyways in my hometown of Dakar, Senegal, will always be the picture of entrepreneurship. Their ability to identify problems and needs, to recognize new opportunities in the midst of crisis, and to stick it out in unwelcoming environments lacking the resources they need, will always exemplify the essence of what it means to be an entrepreneur. As a woman and mom, these are the values that help me reconnect with the entrepreneur in me, in my career and business. I hope these are also the values you use to reconnect to your own entrepreneurial side, at work and in business.
In this episode of the podcast, I am discussing recovering financially after the often financially taxing days of summer, as working women and moms. In the episode, I share 3 main steps to recover financially after the summer.
It also cites the paper entitled “ The Summer Drop in Female Employment”, researchers and authors Melanie Wasserman and Brendan Price assert women’s earnings drop by 3.3 percent on a weekly basis during the summer, which represents about five times the drop experienced by their male counterparts.
Tools mentioned in this episode include Mint, YNAB (You Need A Budget), and PocketGuard.
which provide a range of courses suitable for various skill levels.
Listen in!
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
