by Solange Lopes | Nov 26, 2018 | Career
Going back to school as a working mom can seem like an impossible feat. If you add your parenting duties to your work responsibilities, not to mention the upkeep of the home, your ever-expanding mountain of laundry, and your attempts at not losing your quarterly date night, it would be a complete no-no.
As a working mom myself, going back to study for my Certified Public Accounting exam felt like sheer torture. It was not so much about adding one more giant pile of to-do’s to everything I was already behind on. It was more about the incessant guilt I felt about missing out on the time I could spend with my babies and spouse. It was also about having to consistently juggle loads of commitments, without barely having any time to myself.
Yet, as difficult and challenging as it is, it’s possible. As I look back on this time, and prepare myself to embark on another scholarly journey, there are a few tips I learnt in the process that I can share here:
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Clarify your “Why”
The first, and most important step, in the process of going to school as a working mom, is clarifying your “why”. Why are you doing this? Is it to improve your family’s situation? Is it to get a promotion, or change careers altogether? Is it to offer your children a better life? Or a combination of all these?
Knowing your “why” also allows you to see the light at the end of the tunnel, especially during those trying moments when all you want to do is quit. It’s this “Why” that will not only keep you going in hard times; but will also give you the motivation and drive to accomplish your goals.
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Talk about it with your significant other and family members
As a working mom, you no longer are alone in making decisions, especially when it comes to life-changing decisions such as going back to school. This is why it’s so important to have honest conversations with your significant other and family members, including the children.
In order to succeed at this, you’ll need their support and complete buy-in. It’s important to discuss and answer important questions such as:
- How will your family’s schedule change?
- How can your significant other help you?
- What changes will you have to implement to make it work as a family?
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Make a lifestyle plan
Remember, this is not just about going back to school and getting re-acquainted with classes and homework. Rather, as a working mom, it means a whole lifestyle change that you have to be prepared for. Hence, the need for a complete lifestyle plan that will take into account the needs of all the family members, and allow you to thrive as a mom and a student.
For me, it was about overhauling my schedule and changing my lifestyle from one of family and work responsibilities, to one that included earlier mornings, later nights, and more sharing of commitments.
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Adjust your expectations
Going back to school as a working mom is hard. There’s no more diplomatic way to put it. If you happen to be a perfectionist like myself, you may be tempted to maintain the same expectations you had before heading back to school.
However, it’s crucial to adjust your expectations to your new schedule and lifestyle. Not only will it save you much heartache, but it will also help you keep going when the going gets tough.
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Be compassionate towards yourself
Last but not least, practice compassion towards yourself. This is a very rewarding, yet challenging process. It also means that you must forgive yourself for those nights when you just cannot stay awake to do your homework. Or those mornings when getting up early seems impossible. Or for not being the best mom at all times.
All in all, going back to school as a working mom is not only possible, but very much potentially successful, with the right mindset, approach and discipline. While it requires many adjustments, it may just be one of the most exciting, and rewarding, endeavors you’ll undertake.
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 25, 2018 | Career
I’m blessed to know many amazing working women who thrive each and every day in their lives, careers and/or businesses. From my own sister to friends and family, these women set the bar pretty high when it comes to living and working on purpose. However, when it comes to the holidays, I find myself scratching my curls to figure out what Christmas gift to get these ladies who already have so much going on for themselves.
What do you get a thriving, ambitious and successful working woman who already has everything, or at least almost everything? This is the question I spent quite some figuring out. This year, I’m sharing 12 of my favorite gifts for working women who have everything, as inspired by my own Christmas gifting list:
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An efficient planner
For busy, thriving working women, organization is absolutely key! Having the right tools to get and stay organized can make a world of difference for these ladies. Hence, one of my absolute favorite items to gift working women around me, Erin Condren’s Lifetime Planner.This planner is personalized and customized to fit the user’s unique schedule and lifestyle. It also allows for monthly and yearly planning, and comes with beautiful quotes and notes, as well as customizable layouts, stickers and extras included. It’s the perfect tool for working women to get their organization on, and in style!
Related: 12 best planners for working women
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A good book
Nothing like a good book to inspire, motivate and encourage an ambitious working women to keep going and take her work and life to the next level. This is why a good book always comes in handy as a holiday gift.
This year, at the top of my book gifting list, is my favorite FLOTUS’ new memoir “Becoming Michelle Obama”. For my business sisters, I’d get the Michael Gerber’s “The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About it”. My favorite classics to offer every year fr the holidays also include the cult book “We should all be feminists” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert, as well as “Smart Women Finish Rich” by David Bach. Of course, I cannot forget my own book “Girl, Take Back Your Career“, available on Amazon.
For a complete list of my book recommendations, check out my Influencer Shopping List on Amazon.
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Great office supplies
Working women need their tools to work efficiently, productively and…in style too! This is why great office supplies are a working gal’s best friends. Among my favorites to gift during the holiday season, the Night Owl Paper Goodsoffice supplies, along with the Erin Condrenpaper and other office accessories. Mintedis also a great place for office supplies as gifts.
For the busy career ladies in my life, tools such as this Bonsaii EverShred shredderor this Epson Eco Tank wireless printer with scanner and copier, are always appreciated.
Related: 28 best sites for office supplies
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A great app
In the modern age of techonology, apps are the new go-to’s for busy working women who want to be efficient, productive and more fulfilled on the go. An app can help them do just that, while making for perfect, low-stress gifts.
I love gifting iTunes gift cardsthat allow access to millions of apps in the iTunes stores. Among these, the Corporate Sister appis right at your fingertips for all things career, business and lifestyle for working women too!
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A statement piece of jewelry
Even the best-dressed, most accomplished working woman out there can always use a statement piece of jewelry to take any professional outfit to the next level. For instance, this vintage Chanel gold metal pins and broochmakes for a piece to remember on any occasion. So does this unforgettable Cartier Entrelaces bracelet from the Real Real.
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A Power Suit
Nothing says powerful woman like an impressive power suit. It also makes for a great gift for the working woman who already has much to be thankful for. This Tahari ASL notched-lapel pantsuitwould be a welcome addition to any working woman’ wardrobe. So does this LeSuit women’s pinstripe one-button shawl collar pantsuit.
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The gift of self-care
For booked and busy working women, self-care is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Why not offer it as a gift then?
For the athletic working lady around you, gifts from sporting stores such as Athleta,or Foot Locker,are always appreciated. Pieces such as the Flux street joggeror this Lombard hoodiemake useful and practical gifts for any working woman.
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Business tools
Business tools are always great ideas for holiday gifts, especially for working women who are building their empires.
For those corporate and business sisters building their websites, website hosting services such as Bluehostplans make great gifts. For all things logos, websites, and design of all kinds, 99Designspackages are also great to offer.
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A trip
My sister just went on a trip, all-expenses paid by her best girlfriend. After all, what better gift to the working women in your life than a trip to remember? CheapoAiris a great place to score bargains for this. So is TripAdvisor. You can even go one step further and offer the gift of vacation rental through Airbnb.
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More knowledge
Ambitious working women distinguish themselves by their thirst for knowledge. This is why offering them the gift of continuous learning is always appropriate. You can offer them the world’s largest selection of courses spanning a variety of topics and subjects in Udemyfor instance.
You can also gift them with the polished writing that can help them take their careers or businesses to the next level with Grammarly. For the women entrepreneurs around you, the educational platform Thinkific where they can create their own courses, also makes for an ideal holiday offering.
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Beauty
Spoil the working women in your life with the gift of beauty at places such as Sally Beauty, Sephoraor Birchbox. Even the busiest of working lady can enjoy a new lipstick or hair product for the holidays.
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Stylish glasses
Give the gift of stylish glasses to the working women in your life with original frames from Warby Parker! The working ladies in your life will thank you!
Happy Holidays!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 21, 2018 | Career
The holidays are not just times for celebration, but also festive times and occasions that require you to dress well. From work events to holiday parties, there are numerous opportunities to, well…dress well. However, it’s also a time when financial constraints are multiplied, which can significantly reduce one’s fashion budget.
As a self-proclaimed fashionista, the holidays are my favorite “fashionable” times. Yet, since it’s also a time when budgets tend to get tight with gift-giving and festive occasions, I’ve had to find ways to dress well with less money.After making my own not-so-fashionable mistakes over the holidays, and learning along the way, here are my tried-and-true tips to dress well for the holidays on a budget:
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Shop your closet
How many times have you found yourself thinking you have nothing to wear, only to dig out a piece of clothing you had all but forgotten about from the depths of your closet? I know I have, which is why I recommend shopping your closet first. It’s amazing what you can find in the depths of your closet when you’re not thinking about it.
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Re-purpose your workwear
Michael by Macheal Kors Mixed Media Dress – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
Your workwear is a great and “fashionable” dressing source for the holidays. Consider re-purposing it and adding more festive jewelry or fancier shoes for the holidays. I have used a number of my work sheath dresses, such as this Michael by Michael Kors mixed media dress. I’ve paired them with fancier heels, like these Head Over Heels Ashleigh bow pointed heels from ASOS, and great jewelry like these Kate Spade New York Glitzville Statement stud earrings for
ASOS bow pointed heels – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
holiday parties.
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Take advantage of sales
The holidays are also a great time to take advantage of sales. From shopping Black Friday sales to scouring reduced items, there are countless opportunities to shop for festive holiday wear on a budget. One of my favorite go-to’s for sales is the women’s fashion department of Target,which always offers unique styles and pretty deep discounts too.
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“Merchandise” it
Josie Natori Hammered Metal Cuff – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
Sometimes, all it takes to create a great outfit is to “merchandise” it, or upgrade it with great accessories. Back in my “Sex and the City” days, I remember Carrie used to call it “merchandising” your fashion…Some of my favorites include fun and funky brooches such as this Banana Republic balloon brooch pin, or this Josie Natori Hammered metal cuff.
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Rent clothes
Rent the Runway – Photo credit: renttherunway.com
Got a special occasion for which you need something absolutely unique? Online services such as Rent the Runway, LeTote or Gwinnie Bee for instance, offer stylish, designer pieces you can rock on a budget to the next black-tie work affair or your boss’s daughter’s wedding.
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Swap clothes
Consignment shops that allow individuals to re-sell clothes in good condition are also a great source of inexpensive, and original, holiday wear. Online shops such as The Real Real,Poshmarkor even eBayare my favorite go-to’s for high-end, lightly used fashion.
The Real Real – Photo credit: therealreal.com
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Have fun!
Last but not least, don’t forget to have fun with dressing well over the holidays. I find that every time I enjoy the process of dressing up, especially on festive occasions, the result is always great fashion that doesn’t break the bank. Go ahead and mix patterns and trends to create holiday wear that is uniquely you, and most importantly, brings you and others joy and fun in this season!
Happy Holidays!
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 19, 2018 | Career
As working women, we tend to wear many “working hats”. From caring for our families to juggling demanding careers, it can be easy to get caught in a whirlwind of activities. Especially as working moms, slipping into the sea of commitments, appointments, and obligations can become a daily occurrence, until we start thriving to work on purpose…
As I grew in my career and became a mom, I found myself increasingly lost in the midst of everything I had to attend to. It seemed as if I were always working. If I were not working at work, I’d be working at home on my second or third (or even fourth sometimes) shift. While I was clearly being busier than productive, the purpose of all I was doing, especially my work, was also lost to me. I was working to make money to pay the bills, and caring for my family as best as I could. Yet, there were many times when I asked myself: “Is this all there is? Why am I really doing all this?”, and “What is really my purpose in all this?”
I’m sure you may have asked yourself the same question many times over, at one point or another of your career or life. Most of us have. In a world that’s busier by the minute, even taking the time to think has to be scheduled way ahead of time. Yet, this lack of direction and purpose created by constant busy-ness is not just costing us our health and sanity. It’s also preventing us from doing our best work and living our best life.
A significant part of my growth as an individual and working woman has been centered around learning to work and live more on purpose. By this, I mean striving to be more intentional about what I do and how I do it. This process has thankfully brought me to change careers, alter my mindset, and even start exercising on an almost daily basis. It has been, and still is, a challenging process, as I’m tempted daily to sink into the dangerous pit of busy-ness and mindless achievement. Yet, with the help of mentors, through my faith and lots of trial and error, I’ve slowly come to laying manageable steps to work and live more on purpose as a working woman and working mom. Here’s what has worked for me, in 7 simple but not-so-simple iterations:
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Start with the “Why”
“Why am I doing this?” This seemingly simple question has become one of my absolute go-to’s in everything, or at least almost everything, I start. Very often, we can start processes and experiences without knowing why we’re even engaged in them. From picking jobs and careers that are ill-fitted to our personalities and desires, to marrying the wrong man and choosing destructive friendships, we may waste precious time as a result of missing the “why” behind our decisions.
Why did you pick the job? Why are you entertaining these relationships? Why are you completing the degree? All these questions are not only necessary, but crucial to picking a direction in line with your purpose.
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Develop a love affair with yourself
I had to fall back in love with myself, and embrace who I was created to be, before I could even begin working and living on purpose. Too many outside opinions, pieces of advice and external considerations had me going in personal and professional trajectories I wasn’t happy or fulfilled with.
Learning to know myself, what works for me and what doesn’t, what excites me and sets me on fire, has allowed me to walk away from jobs, careers and relationships that weren’t for me. It’s also helped me enter fields and develop relationships that bring me so much joy and fulfillment.
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Learn your limitations and challenge them
However, this is not just about fostering a love affair with yourself and the world. It’s also about discovering your own perceived limits and challenging them to the best of your ability. Many, if not most times, these limitations, whether real or perceived, keep us from being more intentional and purposeful in our work and lives.
For me, working on purpose also involved facing my fear of public speaking. It means not just putting myself out there, but also learning the necessary tools and getting the right mentorship to become better at it.
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Create a network that works for you
It takes a village to build a purposeful and intentional career and life. This is why it’s so important to build a network around you. Not just any network, but a network that works for you and fits your own life and career.
It took me a while to build the right networks for me. Getting over my fear to network, and then finding networks that feel like home, allowed me to really strive in my work and life.
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Worry about fit more than appearances
Working on purpose is also a matter of knowing, and applying, what works for you. This is where the right fit comes in. What work fits you best? What type of environment fits you best? What work-life integration is best for you?
For me, it was a matter of understanding the best fit for me in terms of careers, locations and work-life integration. In turn, it helped me transition careers and lifestyles in a way that works best for me.
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Cherish the process
Working and living more intentionally also requires trusting and cherishing the process. The longer I resented and resisted the process, the longer it took.
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Release control
Last but not least, release excess control on the outcomes of your career and life decisions. There is a large part of our own individual processes that requires us to let go. I’ve learnt to do my best and release the outcome.
For more on working and living on purpose, download the TCS app:
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To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Oct 23, 2018 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
Have you ever felt the pressure to be the perfect working mom or parent in general? Do you scroll through social media picture-perfect accounts of overachieving parents spending their weekends on the soccer field or traveling to ballet competitions, wondering if your own parenting is sub-par? Or are you exhausted trying to keep up with the impossibly busy schedules of your little (or not so little) ones?
As a perfectionist, ex-teacher pet and recovering overachiever, I believed the same qualities could be applied to parenting when I became a parent myself. Add to that being an African immigrant subjected to the excellence standard so many immigrants are familiar with, I thought it natural to pass it on to my children as well. Although I’m not the kind of mom you’d catch baking batches of cookies for the school’s bake sale or running from competitive soccer games to ballet competitions, there’s still enough of the “perfect parenting pressure” of modern times to keep me on my tired working mom toes. Enough to keep me, and other working moms and parents, pushing ourselves to do as much as humanly possible to cater to every sporting event, school activity, or extra-curricular requirement of our children (and exhausting ourselves in the process)…
Growing up in Senegal, West Africa, in a loving, yet strict single-parent household, I was fortunate enough to experience the tough yet wise African kind of parenting. That brand of parenting where love meant injecting a healthy dose of “constructive” criticism” to everything you did, and holding you to rigid standards of respect and social behavior. The kind of parenting where affection was served with a helping of struggle and a “you can’t have it your way” attitude. While I was privileged in many aspects, there was no being shuttled left and right to a gazillion activities, I had to figure out my own homework, and I had better not bring anything less than an A home. Oh, and did I mention, all family members, plus the neighbors, were not only allowed, but encouraged, to set me straight shall I stray from the expected path.
Fast-forward a few years, becoming a parent myself, as an immigrant, I’d find myself running to and fro activities and poring over school projects too big for my limited artistic skills. Add to that feeling guilty for messing up the frosting on the Halloween brownies and missing my son scoring a goal beI had never signed up to be a perfect parent, so I had to check myself (and my own sanity). I also had to learn that perfect parenting is a myth that can only end up with thinned edges and premature fine lines. Instead, I opted for imperfect, yet healthy, parenting, and this is why:
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There is no such thing as a perfect mom/parent
Repeat after me: there is no perfect parent. There has never been, and never will be. Parenting is a process, which also means we are ALL learning, including the moms who are dealing with their fourth child and those who are just starting out. Different parenting approaches work for different families
Accepting this fact goes a long way in helping to deal with the normal ups and downs of parenting. I know it helped, and still does help me, on those days when mommy guilt overtakes me and I’m not sure what I’m doing any more.
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You are not just a mom
I often hear the phrase: “Being a mom is my most important job”. I’d agree. I’d even go a step further, motherhood, and parenting in general, is a lifetime commitment. My maternal grandmother used to say: “Small children, small problems. Big children, big problems”. I can now see why…
However, we’re not just moms, despite it being so important in our lives. We’re also individuals with full personalities, particularities and lives, daughters, sisters, wives, friends, filled with divine potential and purpose. Developing all these parts of ourselves also helps us become the best, yet still imperfect, mothers we are.
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Allow yourself room to grow (and teach your kids to grow as well)
Being an imperfect parent has lots of perks, one of which being that it allows you room to grow as a mom. It also allows you to teach your kids to grow with you. I’m always learning about better ways of parenting that are more aligned with who I am, which makes the entire process so much more exciting and rewarding! As I forgive myself for the mistakes I make, I can also teach my kids that it’s ok to make mistakes, and grow in the process too.
Maybe the best way to parent is to be more open, vulnerable, and imperfect. Maybe it’s less about teaching our kids who they should be, but showing them how they can be who they were created to be…
The Corporate Sis.
