Take Toni…Toni just lost the promotion she has been working tirelessly for all year. Sandra knows, because just like everyone in the office, she received the email announcing Daevon’s new title. The title she had been after for all this time…Although it was only 3pm, she decided to pack up and headed out the door, mumbling something about a doctor’s appointment to the secretary. She was home when her husband and the kids came home, in her “bad days” pajamas, glass of wine in hand, tears in her eyes. All went downhill from there. I’ll let you picture your own version of the story…
LikeToni, I wish someone would have told me how to deal with a career crisis at home as a married or partnered working woman. Losing a job, being demoted, or generally being unfulfilled in your work, are all things that can negatively affect one’s home life. Many, if not most, have faced at least one career crisis that rocked our home lives. I remember facing my first career crisis and having no idea how to react, what to do, and most essentially, what to avoid doing.
Unless you’re blessed with a constant, uneventful career, you’re bound to face ups and downs at work. Some of the latter may never amount to full crisis stage, but some may. Even for those small work mishaps, it may be challenging to leave it all behind your cubicle or office desk at the end of the day. If your career or business is weighing on your mind, not discussing it with your partner or your closed friends and relatives is nearly impossible.
I tried to apply the proverbial “leave work at work” piece of advice, and draw a strong line between career and home life. Needless to say, it didn’t work. Even when I swore to keep work and life separate, my face would betray me, exposing all my business in the middle of dinner. Truth is, I never believed the different areas of our lives should be kept apart from each other, in their own well-kept compartments. Everything we go through is connected, and attempting to draw barriers between our varied life experiences doesn’t benefit us in the long term.
It took me a while to deal with the inevitable nature of career crisis. Over time, through many ups, downs and lessons learnt, as well as through learning from others, here are a thing or two about dealing with a career crisis at home:
You don’t have to carry it all on your own
A career crisis is not something you have to face on your own. It’s ok to share the difficulties you’re facing at work with your significant other at home. If you’re not able to do so, then you should revisit how much support you really are getting in the relationship.
Use it as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship
Tough times can always serve as an opportunity to strengthen your home relationship. It’s during those challenging episodes that partners can show more of their vulnerable side. It’s also when their commitment can be re-affirmed and even expanded.
But…don’t overburden your home life with career pressure
However, as much as you should count on your home base to support and shoulder you in times of career crisis, there’s a risk of over-burdening your relationship with your work. While you don’t have to deal with career challenges on your own, you also have to balance it all out. If your home life is at the mercy of your career, or vice-versa, there’s an imbalance that may spell trouble for you.
All in all, every situation is different, and so is every home and career. It’s up to you to evaluate the right balance between what you can ask of your home base and what can destroy it when facing a career crisis.
Now, your turn: How do you deal with a career crisis at home?
I recently attended a women’s empowerment conference in one of the nearby universities, and one of the questions raised by a young student was: “Should I pick the career with great perks or the career that’s a best fit?” This is a question most working women and working moms ask themselves on a daily basis. The job with the great perks, including free travel, luxury stays in intercontinental hotels, and a great salary to boot, may certainly be attractive. Yet, how about the gig where people our value, where we get the most fulfilled, although the pay may not be quite as appealing? Let me tell you, you should pick the career that fits you best.
A few years back, I had to seriously ask myself this question when offered an opportunity that seemed impossible to refuse. I had two babies at the time, one of which an infant, and the prospect of added financial gain was hard to ignore. Despite the sinking feeling in my stomach as I read the about the 25% travel requirement, I accepted the offer. It was the beginning of a painful realization that there are truly no perks or amount of money that is worth the feeling of fulfillment and wholeness one deserves, especially as a working mom.
As you may start or be re-directing your career or business, you may be faced with the same pressing question. Do you take the high-paying job with loads of advantages, or do you pick the option that feels and looks like a better fit for you as a working mom and working woman? You know, the one that actually lets you see your kids, be home for dinner, and work at something that makes your heart full at the end of the day? In my opinion, the latter holds true, and here are three reasons why:
It’s never just a career decision, it’s a life decision
At times, we tend to compartmentalize our work and life in separate containers, as if one had nothing to do with the other. I’ve learnt that pretty much everything that affects your life can affect your work and vice-versa. When making a career decision, you’re really making a life decision. It’s one that’s bound to impact your well-being as well as your family’s well-being.
Is this career or job going to allow you to care for yourself and yours? Will you be able to build some margin in your schedule? Will you be able to have a sense of balance?
You develop more in an environment that’s a better fit for you
Getting an offer letter from a multi-million dollar corporation with a salary cap in the six-figure realm is flattering, appealing and frankly borderline irresistible. However, these same multi-million dollar corporations can also be labyrinths of bureaucracy and administration where you may not be able to fully develop and come into your own, professionally and personally, unless you’ve found a right fit in these.
The larger the professional environment, the more chances your voice may be drowned in all the surrounding noise. If developing your voice and growing in your career is a priority, it’s crucial to pick the career or job that allows you to do so. After all, it’s better to be a big fish in a small pond than a small fish in a large pond
In the end, your fulfillment and happiness is what matters.
At the end of the day, you won’t remember the perks or the multiple zeros in your salary. Ok, maybe a little… But what is really going to stay with you, is how much fulfillment you’ve had, how many memorable experiences and people you’ve come across, and what difference you’ve made. This is where fit or the lack thereof can create the best or the worst of careers or jobs.
Are you choosing an environment that’s the right fit for you?
I’m a recovering overachiever, I admit it. Like many other working women and working moms, I suffer from the “I want to do it all” syndrome. My to-do lists are gigantic, filled with unending items from the smallest and most mundane, to the most elaborate tasks. From paying the mortgage to replacing the shower curtains and planning for the next department meeting… Even when I can (painfully) plow through most of them throughout the day, I’m still left with so much to do at the end of the day that discouragement quickly sets in. Along with the realization that “less is more”…
If you’re a fellow “on the verge of overwhelm” working mom like myself, you know the feeling. You also know that it’s far from being a pleasant one. What you also may be familiar with is that sinking sense of despair as you roll off the bed in the morning, knowing that you’ll probably not get through your to-do list for the day, yet again…
Lately, this same sinking feeling has been overtaking me. As an avid consumer of productivity content through books, podcasts and other mediums, I started researching ways in which I could, well…do less, achieve more, and take a break. I was recently inspired by one of Amy Porterfield’s podcast, during which she interviewed best-selling author Michael Hyatt. It reminded me of the rule of three (3)which I had read a lot about in the past.
The rule of three (3) is a rhetorical technique that originated in ancient Greece, and focuses on three (3) words to express an idea. Since three items are easier to remember than five or seven, virtually anything presented in threes may be easier to accomplish and retain. Just consider the three (3) rights listed in the American Declaration of Independence: Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Or Apple’s founder’s Steve Jobs’ tendency to build all his presentations and product launches as iterations of threes, from the three iPad models introduced in 2010, to its description as “thinner, lighter and faster” than its predecessor. The point is, the rule of three works, so why not use it in our over-booked working moms’ lives?
Here are three (3) ways I’ve personally been using it to do less and achieve more as a recovering, frazzled working mom, and recommend:
Identify your 3 life areas
Do you tend to have countless buckets in your personal life, from family to home life, relationships, faith, spirituality and so on and so forth? I know I used to. As a result, there were so many things I was stretching myself in between to accomplish all the attached objectives. Obviously, it didn’t work in the least…
When I asked myself what three personal areas were most important to me, the answer turned out to be simpler than I thought: FAITH, SELF-CARE, and FAMILY. It made it so much easier to determine what priorities went into each of these areas, and stick to them. Even better, I picked only three priorities for each of these areas, and assigned time to each one of these.
What are your three most important personal life areas? Can you assign three priorities to each?
Identify your 3 work areas
In the same way that I picked three personal areas, I also selected three work areas to focus on. These are aligned with my passions, talents and abilities, and comprise the bulk of my work. For me, they are: TEACHING, WRITING and SPEAKING.
Similarly, I pick three priorities in each of these areas to devote my time to and build my goals around.
What are your three work areas that you choose to focus on? Can you identify three priorities for each one of these?
Pick your goals in 3’s
Lastly, whenever I devise my goals, I do it in three’s. I pick three major yearly, quarterly and monthly goals to address every year, quarter and month. In the same way, I break down each one of these goals into three items to address for each.
What three major goals can you focus on this year, quarter or month?
How can you use the rule of three to achieve more by doing less?
From my many conversations with small business owners, I’ve realized that many fear the sheer thought of tackling the accounting part of our business. This is especially true for creatives who would rather devote their time to creating content than digging into the specifics of expense and revenue tracking.
However, the common misconception is that accounting is reserved for a select few, and the rest of the mere mortals are left powerless in its wake. As a result, many of us omit one of the most important parts of our businesses, that is the financial and accounting side. As a CPA and consultant, it’s a fear I hear and see in many of my clients.
With the advent of side hustles and solopreneurs, especially among working women, it’s becoming increasingly important to have a handle on our own accounting. Most small businesses are now being started by women, especially women of color, which reinforces the need to tackle our own financial needs. Even if you hire a professional, you still need to know what is being done in your business.
If you’re a small business owner, or thinking of becoming one, here are 10 accounting basics to keep in mind:
Develop a business plan
One of the most overlooked parts of starting a business is developing a business plan. This is where you express your business strategy through a detailed plan that will inform your activities and general growth. A good place to get start is: www.sba.gov.
Decide on your business structure
Whether you decide to run your business as a sole proprietorship, establish a Limited Liability Corporation (LLC), or a partnership, among other business structures, this will impact your tax status, as well as the way you conduct business.
Open a bank account for your business
Distinguishing and separating your funds with that of the business is paramount. It helps you track the expenses and revenues of the business better, while also protecting your assets in the meantime.
List your creditors
Taking care of the debts of your business is paramount as this will help you secure loans and show how solvable it is. Make sure to list all your creditors and keep track of your debts owed and the payments you’re making towards these.
List your business assets
As a small business owner, knowing what you own in terms of assets is crucial. Not only can this help you value your business better in financial terms, but it will also allow you to keep track of the growth, or lack thereof, of your entity.
Determine your discounts
How will your structure any discounts you give to customers? Considering how these discounts can impact your bottom line, you may want to decide earlier on on their structure and frequency.
Choose your accounting method of choice
Will you be using the cash method of accounting, whereby you will recognize your revenues and expenses based on cash exchanged? Or will you accrue your expenses and revenues instead? Deciding on your method of accounting will allow you to manage your books better, and be more aware of the profits of your business.
Decide if you’ll use an accounting software
Will you be using an accounting software or manually record your transactions? This decision will impact your entire accounting system, so you may want to spend some time reviewing the different options you may have. Accounting software like Quickbooks or Freshbooks are great ways to get started.
Determine how you will enter your bills and revenues
Will you hire someone to record your bills and revenues? Will you do it yourself? How frequently will you do it? Will you be using an app to scan your receipts? These may sound like small business decisions, however they will greatly impact the accuracy and timeliness of your records, which in turn will affect your taxes and general growth.
Picking the right accountant for you
Last but not least, picking the right accountant for you is a process to tackle carefully. Not everyone can serve as your business accountant, even if they have all the right degrees and credentials. Some questions to ask yourself when picking your business accountant include:
Does this person understand my business?
Does he/she get the strategy of my business?
Is he/she qualified enough?
Is he/she available to work on my business in a way that will serve me well?
As a small business owner, you want to make sure that you have an input into your finances and accounting. After all, it’s your business, and it’s up to you to steer it in the right direction. Even as you may seek help and hire accounting personnel, remember that your business is yours, and others are here to help you execute your vision.
Whether you’re just starting out in your career, or you already have significant experience, you probably are periodically thinking about what it would take for you to upgrade your career. It may be getting a promotion, transitioning to a different department or team, or even switching careers. In most extreme cases, it may even be about taking a leap of faith into entrepreneurship.
The point is, even if you’re comfortable coasting through the ups and downs of your career or business, you may also want to take your career to the next level. However, you may think, like I did, that it would take something drastic to do so. What I have found out through mine and many other working women’s experience, is that upgrading your career is not as complex or lengthy of a process as we may think. As a matter of fact, you have much more power and ability to steer your work towards what you truly desire as you accomplish your purpose than you think.
Here are 4 simple ways you can get started with today to upgrade your career:
Start with mindset
A large, if not the largest part of improving your career for the better, lies with our minds. In most cases, it’s primarily about the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and the work we do. It may be the result of deeply ingrained conceptions from childhood about our abilities or personality; or the outcome of failed experiences in the workplace.
The point is, even if you’re comfortable coasting through the ups and downs of your career or business, you may also want to take your career to the next level. However, you may think, like I did, that it would take something drastic to do so. What I have found out through mine and many other working women’s experience, is that upgrading your career is not as complex or lengthy of a process as we may think. As a matter of fact, you have much more power and ability to steer your work towards what you truly desire as you accomplish your purpose than you think.
Here are 4 simple ways you can get started with today to upgrade your career:
Start with mindset
A large, if not the largest part of improving your career for the better, lies with our minds. In most cases, it’s primarily about the story we tell ourselves about ourselves and the work we do. It may be the result of deeply ingrained conceptions from childhood about our abilities or personality; or the outcome of failed experiences in the workplace.
I was always told as a child that I was shy and could not express myself in public. Over the years, I became convinced that I would never be able to speak publicly. This greatly impacted my success at work initially, as I would be insecure expressing my thoughts, opinions, or even standing up for myself in the workplace. Today, I teach and speak to audiences all over and am no longer afraid of telling my story. This could not have happened had I not been fortunate enough to have the opportunity to do some much-needed mindset work.
What is your current mindset about your career? Do you tell yourself a positive, uplifting message about your career that allows you to thrive? Or do you get bogged down by limitations that tank your performance?
Invest in learning
Learning is the one single most important skill that will keep you successful and fulfilled throughout your career. Remember that your career is a living, breathing thing that changes not just with organizations and industries you’re part of. It also evolves with you and the rest of society. Constantly learning and educating yourself not only keeps you current and competent; but it also enriches you in general.
There are many ways to invest in learning, and these aren’t just limited to taking courses or going back to school. You can also learn from your environment, develop skills that you may be lacking, such as public speaking for instance. You may also learn through mentors, peers, allies and those around you.
What is it that you could invest in learning about to upgrade your career? Are there skills that could take your work to the next level that you could acquire?
Be more authentic
We don’t often talk about authenticity when it comes to taking your career to the next level. However, it’s a critical component of your success at work. You don’t just bring your credentials, degrees and other qualifications to the table of your career. You also bring in the sum of your life experiences, your personality, your mindset, and general outlook on life and work. These play an integral part in your career development.
While we all tend to keep our “professional masks” on, there are also ways in which we can manage to be more authentic. Sharing a part of who we are, showing up as our authentic selves, daring to tell the truth of your convictions, are steps in the right direction. For me, it was daring to disagree, walking away from toxic work situations, and yes, even wearing my hair natural.
Which areas of your work and life do you need to be more authentic in? What can you do today to show up as you are at work?
Make peace with failure
A great career is also one that includes failures. Not everything you will do or try will work. As a matter of fact, much of your work may end up in failures. Yet, there is so much power in learning from our mistakes, finding better ways to address our shortcomings and improving processes and systems in general.
Failure is a powerful tool. When used correctly, not to increase fear and intimidation, but instead to foster growth and innovation, it can radically change the narrative of our careers.
Have you been resisting failure? What have you kept yourself from trying out of fear of failing? What failures have you buried down deep and not addressed so you could learn and improve from them?
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