Have you ever taken a look at the list of Forbes Under 30, or Forbes Under 40, as you ponder the fact that you need your own list for your own age group? Do you sometimes (or often) wonder as you climb up the age ladder, if you will continue to climb up your own ladder of fulfillment and success as you age? Or does aging for the working woman that you are mean giving up on continued career and business growth and purpose? These are all questions you may have asked yourself. I know I have…
The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ageism is defined as “prejudice or discrimination against a particular age-group and especially the elderly”. Among the various types of discriminations, including diversity-based, gender-based and racial discrimination, ageism is actually the most pervasive form of discriminating against individuals, especially in the workplace, with a whopping 44% of employees reporting experiencing age discrimination and over $810.4 million paid by employers to settle age discrimination-related charges filed with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC). This type of discrimination also predominantly affects women and people of color. Despite the existence of the Age Discrimination Employment Act (ADEA), which legally acts against age discrimination in individuals age 40 or older, related discriminatory violations are still rampant in the workplace.
According to the Harvard Business Review, women in their mid-50’s are faced with new, and demeaning biases in the workplace, including the assumption their age is making them more tired and less interested in their work. As a result, they’re being forced out of work at an age where they are still flourishing. Despite laws targeting age discrimination, women over 50 still struggle with the pressure to maintain their credibility and relevance, especially in industries where women are judged by their external appearance, including the fashion and beauty industry.
You don’t even have to reach your 50’s these days to feel the pressure, quite honestly. Just scrolling through glossy Instagram profiles filled with younger and younger women flaunting photoshopped bodies and borrowed wisdom quotes is enough to make you apprehend the passing of time in your own life and career. I know when I look at the next 10 or 20 years ahead of me, God willing, a whole new set of questions and doubts haunt me, some of which are a normal part of aging, while others are imposed to me by a society that treats aging as a non-recyclable life component.
What I, and so many other women (because the reality is, we’re all aging), want to hear more about, are ways in which we still can, and are encouraged to, well in our 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and beyond, to have fulfilling, successful careers and lives and showing our fellow counterparts what it looks and feels like to gracefully thrive with age. What we want is more businesses, organizations and governments to set up the appropriate systems and infrastructures to foster the flourishing of more working women beyond hurtful and damaging aging stereotypes. There are a few ways to that you and I can participate in this movement by fostering:
Acknowledging and pointing out the problem in our own organizations
Ageism manifests in many ways, some more subtle than others. From job ads that fail to use age-inclusive language, instead referring to new, non-inclusive terminology such as “digital native” (which refers to an individual born or brought up during technology’s age), to lack of training on the related discrimination, many, if not most organizations and businesses are dropping the ball when it comes to preventing and remedying ageism. This is without mentioning open and blatant instances of age discrimination that may happen right in front of us.
As working women, we can help by identifying these instances, and offering solutions. How about transition paths being offered to older working women, instead of simply unceremoniously booting them out of the workplace with semi-compensating retirement packages? Or the creation of more inclusive job advertisements and in-house trainings geared at educating all generations on the dire costs of ageism? Or gathering the data necessary to present to the appropriate governmental, legal and business bodies to create requirements to counter this issue?
Promoting and leveraging the growth that comes with aging
There’s a reason why some of the best educational programs, including some prestigious Masters in Business Administration, notably from Harvard, require prior experience. As much as we may laud the power of influence, social media and early prominence these days, it’s undeniable that experience and growth play a crucial role in career and business success. This is all the more relevant as working women age, gathering the benefits of extensive personal and professional experience, bring these benefits to their place of business, thus empowering other women.
Aging is a privilege, not just for working women, but also for organizations and businesses. By foregoing the invaluable advantages that come with the experience and growth of working women, organizations and businesses also deprive themselves of a major driving force of success.
Fostering increased innovation and re-inventing ourselves
Both individuals and organizations thrive on reinvention and organization. What many fail to understand is that innovation is not just the product of youth, it’s also a compound of general growth and experience. As a matter of fact, a recent study by MIT found that the average age of startup founders is 42, which destroys the myth of the young founder. As working women, we have the privilege, and also the burden, to experience and handle multiple aspects of life and work from the various hats we wear all throughout our lives, from caretakers, mothers, to professionals and so many other roles.
As such, we constantly have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves through our various stages of growth. This is also a great benefit that aging women bring to all areas of their work and life, including their career. As such, organizations should look more to aging women for opportunities for reinvention, growth and improvement.
Overall, while working women and people of color are the most affected by ageism and age-related discrimination, there are a few ways that each and every one of us can counter-act this destructive and costly phenomenon, in our own capacity, in our departments, organizations, and businesses.
Have you experienced age-related discrimination? What are your thoughts on it?
Sitting in the waiting room at the dance class studio while my daughter was taking ballet, after arriving rushedly a few minutes late, I looked around at all the other parents around me. Most of them were moms, and most of them, were looking slightly, or very…tired. It was 6pm, the class went until 7pm, which means for many, if not most of us, we were grappling with the thought of picking some quick food on way home, or trying to desperately remember if there were any leftovers in the fridge. And yes, most of us probably do this more than once a week, in addition to handling the household load and professional obligations…’Tis the era of the successful, glass-ceiling, concrete-wall breaking, but oh so tired working Supermom!
I was raised by a single working mom, so from a very early age, I already was all too-well acquainted with the challenges of what I would always think of as “complicated motherhood”. The kind that requires one to be a mom and a dad, to work and clean the house and cook the meals and balance the checkbook…Yet, even for non-single working moms, when you fast-forward to the present times of “leaning in” and “sitting at the table”, you quickly realize that in some way modern moms have also signed up for “complicated motherhood”, the SuperMom kind. Except after dropping off the kids to school, commuting to work, holding her own at work, picking up the kids, driving to extra-curricular activities, figuring out dinner, bedtime, and everything in between, SuperMom gets seriously tired…
The amount of obligations and requirements the popular modern definition of success for working moms has heaped on our plates is astounding. What’s even more astounding, is that we still bravely, fiercely, and sometimes unconsciously, strive to check in all the boxes, satisfy all the requirements, and play all the parts we’ve been assigned and have assigned ourselves as well. That’s how our SuperMom capes get so heavy, as they fill up with social activities, personal and professional responsibilities, and worse of all, the ever-looming sense that as our to-do lists get longer and less effective as ever, we are not enough. And in turn, we teach our daughters and our sons to have the same unrealistic and destructive expectations we, and the rest of the world, throw at ourselves.
In the modern era of the working mom who can have it all, it may be high time to opt for having all that matters instead, and ditch our super-sheroes capes in favor of our fulfillment, purpose and sanity:
Assess what’s truly IMPORTANT and IN ALIGNMENT with you and your family:
When you’re a working mom, everything seems important, from the kids’ lunch menu form to the meeting at work. It’s as if we had this “IMPORTANT” basket right on top of our heads, day in and day out, that we desperately try to keep in balance at all times. We’re trying to devise the dinner menu while on the conference call, checking the time to make sure we’re not late for after-school pickup and the kids’ dance and soccer practice. Too much!
What is truly IMPORTANT to you and your family? What are those non-negotiables you need to agree on with your partner and your children? After hectic months of running around in sheer exhaustion between work, home and school, we had to have those important conversations in our household. Without agreement, alignment, and a sense that we’re all in alignment with our current purpose and goals, it doesn’t work…
Recognize your limitations
Moms are powerful. Like everyone else, they also have limitations. It’s called being human, which also means making it to the 8am meeting after dropping off the kids probably won’t leave room to wash all the dishes in the sink. Or that not having a minute to yourself as you try to climb the corporate ladder will not let you enjoy family time.
Admitting that in each season of your life and work, you will have limitations, is key. Not as an admission of guilt, or a sign you’re giving up, but as a gentle reminder slowing down is a blessing. What are the limitations you know you’re facing? Where can you cut down on time and effort? What can you take off your plate?
Be more present
The problem with overachieving is the more you try to fit into your busy schedule, the less you’re able to be present for it all, mentally, physically and spiritually. Are you barely listening to the kids as you’re trying to make dinner and be on the conference call all at once? Do you notice your temper getting shorter by the second as you try to do three things at once? It may be time to invest in less busyness and more actual presence…
Recently, Goldman Sachs shook the business world by announcing that starting July 2021, it will no longer help companies perform IPOs unless said companies include diversity on its board, with a focus on women. What this decision also means is a significant departure from the all-white, all-male boards that have been the rule for so long, at the expense of the much necessary gender diversity that has been proven to be so beneficial to businesses.
This push for diversity comes right on the heels of much debate by policy experts and lawmakers alike around the lack of gender diversity in the C-suite and boardroom. The MIT Sloan School of Managementactually reveals that while women occupy about 1 in 5 seats on the boards of S&P500 companies, most boards are still mostly composed of men.
Yet, change is certainly looming on the horizon. The state of California passed into law the requirement to have at least one female director on the board of California-based public companies. In addition, companies with board members of 6 or more individuals are required to include at least three new female directors.
As one of two women of color sitting on the board of a not-for-profit organization, I can see first-hand the advantage and influence that gender diversity can bring to companies. The unique perspective, management style, business savvy, and community outreach, among other factors, that women bring to the table, literally can change an organization for the better. If women constitute 50% of the world population, does it make any practical or business sense to keep them out of the boardrooms where decisions for 100% of the population are made?
While there’s still certainly a long way to go, what this means for working women and gender diversity is that there is finally some flicker of a light at the end of the gender diversity tunnel. In more concrete terms, the repercussions are not only motivating but also of a historical proportion:
There are more incentives for companies to adopt gender diversity
Unfortunately and fortunately, it’s mostly through legal change and business/social incentives that gender diversity may be allowed by the institutions and people who are still resisting it. In this sense, it is up to all of us to create the platform to generate these incentives and legal changes that will drive gender diversity forward, as in the example of Goldman Sachs and the state of California.
This is a motivating factor for women to stop fearing sitting at the table
For many business women, especially minority women, sitting at the board of a company may seem like a far-fetched dream. However, every day that we are advocating for gender diversity, we are removing one piece of this opposing wall. It’s a great motivating factor to see that not only is it possible to crush this wall, but that it’s our responsibility to do so.
It’s a win-win for businesses, women and society at large
All in all, increasing the gender diversity on boards is a win-win for all. Businesses win, as their IPO performance, and general performance, is proven to be better when there is at least one woman on their board. Women win, as we extend the fullness of our potential to serve and impact the industries and businesses that in turn impact the world. Society wins, as we all change the meaning of true diversity for the better.
Welcome to the Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
This week, we mourned on Sunday the loss of iconic basketball player and sports legend Kobe Bryant, who tragically passed away in a helicopter crash along with his 13 year-old daughter Gianna and all the other passengers. As we honor all the lives lost, we remember Kobe’s love for his daughters, celebrated with the #girldad hashtag and movement on social media.
However, we celebrate, along with Black Enterprise, legendary actress Cicely Tyson’s induction in the 2020 TV Hall of Fame, as well as our FLOTUS FOREVER Michelle Obama winning a Grammy Award for the audio version of her book “Becoming”.
Worried about potential health problems? US News lists 6 things all employees should know about the Family and Medical Leave Act.
Are you a new mom? Working Mother lists the 12 most unsolicited pieces of advice new moms get.
‘Tis the season for colds and flus! Business Insider details the work rules around getting sick at work.
Couples alert! If you need romantic dinner ideas, Food52 has gathered 10 date night menus, right on time for V-Day.
In 2020, women want equal rights. Refiney29 lists all the US laws that as women, we should know.
Want to make your home a haven of peace, especially after those hectic days at work? Forbes lists Marie Kondo’s best tips to make your home a relaxing space.
Are you planning for your future and that of your family this year? The Corporate Sister explains 3 basics of estate planning for working moms.
Looking for new reads? The New York Times recommends these 10 new books this week.
As working women, many of us have been conditioned to favor hard rather than soft skills at work. For the longest time, soft skills such as negotiating, listening, public speaking, or writing skills, to cite a few, were relegated to the background, in favor of hard skills considered to be directly relevant to the job at hand. These are examples of soft skills to keep in mind:
Communication: Being able to articulate and communicate your ideas effectively is paramount to not only starting, but also ascending, in your career or business.
Critical Thinking: Are you able to come up with unique ways to complete the tasks at hand, or think on your feet when a new challenge arises? More than pure, hard knowledge, this is an invaluable skill you can develop through continuous learning and growth.
Interpersonal skills: Are you a good team player? Having interpersonal skills such as the ability to help, taking responsibility for your actions, will go a long way in your career.
Work ethic: Are you disciplined, professional and dedicated to your work? These important factors play a crucial role in helping you stand out and achieving your professional objectives.
Leadership: Do you serve as a role model for your colleagues and employees? Being an effective leader requires leading well by example, but also being open to constructive criticism and feedback.
Time management: Are you able to use your time effectively or do you tend to procrastinate? Do you frequently miss deadlines or are late? Managing your time wisely is a critical component of your professional success and should be prioritized.
Conflict Resolution: Can you work with various personalities, and handle the inevitable conflicts and disagreements that are bound to emerge? Promoting peace and harmony in your teams and workplace can not only help everyone work better, but also place you in the position of leader.
Adaptability: The only constant is change. Are you adaptable to changes in your environment? Are you flexible in project settings? Organizational changes are bound to happen, and being able to display this skill will help you thrive.
Responsibility: Taking responsibility for mistakes, whether yours or that of your team members, is the sign of a leader. It also includes being able to praise others as well.
The focus is increasingly being put on the importance of soft skills in any career. As a CPA and professor, I can testify first-hand to the resurgence of soft skills in the professional arena of business. Even in fields such as accounting for instance, which have been erroneously considered to be reserved for introverts, research is now showing that soft skills are increasingly important, especially at the management level and above.
Soft skills have not always been given the credit they deserve. Instead, hard skills were thought to better equip individuals to succeed in the workplace. However, employers are increasingly paying more attention to these. Yet, they frequently report that applicants are sorely lacking them. As an educator in the field of accounting, I can testify first-hand that soft skills are absolutely invaluable for business success, as the work model has evolved towards teamwork and globalization.
As working women, many of these skills are innate and come naturally to us. Communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution are a few of the skills that many, if not most women, are particularly gifted. These are skills we apply in our everyday lives, in the context of our family and personal relationships. However, since we’ve been conditioned to ignore these at work, here are a few ways to re-focus on our soft skills at work:
Show up authentically: Your WHO matters more than your WHAT
Your personality introduces you before you even get a chance to display all your hard knowledge. Someone I once met told me this: “You bring all of YOU to the workplace!”. Dare to show up authentically, and don’t be afraid to put your soft skills, such as communication, empathy, and interpersonal skills, on display.
Dare to be vulnerable
One of my favorite researchers and writers, Brene Brown, talks about the importance of vulnerability, not just in our personal lives, but also at work. Many, if not most of the soft skills that are indispensable to career success, are rooted in vulnerability. It takes being vulnerable to communicate effectively, engage in conflict resolution, or handle change.
Allow space for others to be themselves
In the same vein, allow others to also show up as themselves. These may be team members, colleagues, or even superiors. The more we’re able to hold space for others to show up more authentically, the more effective we can work together.
Are you using soft skills in your career or business? If so, how?
