Dear Working Mom is our weekly letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about motherhood, life, work and everything in between…
Dear Working Mom,
As the coronavirus pandemic is beating our emotions and confining us home with our families, many of us may be tempted to think, more than ever, that we’re not enough. Much of it may stem from our own inadequacies, our insecurities, and society’s constant message that we have to constantly do more in order to be more, or at least to be perceived as more…
This crisis has probably stretched you to the maximum, increasing your daily to-do’s and confirming the heavy burden you were already carrying. It may have made you question your own sanity, and wonder if you can adapt to this new normal made up of homeschooling, remotely working, cooking, cleaning, and everything else in between.
As you worry about your family, elderly parents and grand-parents, and watch your children grow up in a world that looks like nothing you’ve ever experienced, you may fluctuate between hope and despair. As you consider the job you’ve lost, the bank account that is rapidly declining, the tragic news buzzing around on television and social media, you may be wondering if things will ever go back to normal…Add to this the guilt that you’re not doing enough, not protecting your family enough, not caring for your elderly parents and other family members, not caring enough for your friends and yourself, and an overwhelming sense of inadequacy may settle in…
Yet, you get up every day and manage to put a smile on your face. Despite it all, you’re still running a whole household, working through online meetings, teaching your kids, cooking, cleaning, and still keeping your sanity, or at least a sliver of it. You’re still getting back up on your feet after the layoff, the financial challenges, and the worry and anxiety that seem to invade your thoughts…
But although you may not feel this way, you’re enough, you’re doing the best you can with what you have, right where you’re at. You always have. It’s not business as usual, and it may not be for a while. Whatever may happen, you are always enough, as an individual, as a mother, as a friend, daughter, sister, and any other role you may be filling…
As the coronavirus crisis is affecting the market in quite negative ways, many of us are wondering what will happen to our 401K accounts. Many are also wondering if we can actually use our 401k savings in case of emergency during the crisis.
My $0.05:
Here are a few guidelines you may want to consider:
If you’re able, keep contributing to your 401k:
If your employer matches your contributions, it’s basically free money that you would pass up if you stopped contributing.
While the stock market may have experienced many losses in the past few days, this also means there are opportunities to buy some shares of stock on sale. If your 401k contributions are going towards building a diversified portfolio, you should be able to see positive returns in the long term
Emergencies can definitely happen in a crisis, especially considering this is a largely unexpected one. However, tapping into your emergency fund first before tapping into your 401K may be best. If you really need to tap into your 401k funds in this period, you are in luck!The Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security Act now allows you as a retirement account participant to withdraw up to $100,000 for coronavirus-related expenses. Loan limits on your 401k have also been increased to 100% of the vested balance, up to $100,000. Individuals taking the coronavirus emergency also have the option of reimbursing themselves at any point
In addition, the related income tax due on such withdrawals can be paid over three (3) years.The contribution deadline for the 2019 IRA contributions has also now been pushed to July 15, 2020.
Last but not least, retirees over 72 years old now have the option of delaying taking their minimum distributions as required in 2020.
Welcome to Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
I hope you and your loved ones are well and keeping safe, and wishing us all strength, patience and courage through this crisis!
Working Mother details what the new coronavirus relief bill means for working parents;
Are you a small business owner? Forbes lists who is eligible for small business loans in the economic stimulus package;
Got video calls for work? The New York Times lists the do’s and dont’s of being on camera for work;
For all the married couples, beware of the quarantine! Black Enterprise reports divorce rates could spike as a result;
The Glassdoor Blog answers the question: How do we achieve work-life balance when working remotely?;
Online meetings are getting increasingly more popular with the increase in work-from-home arrangements. As the current coronavirus crisis is pushing most people to work remotely, online meetings are becoming the norm more than the exception.
If you have been working from home, you may have already been in a slew of online meetings. Over the course of my career, and especially in times of crisis like the current coronavirus pandemic we’re facing, I certainly have. I’ve also had the opportunity to learn a tremendous amount, especially in regards to ways of conducting and participating in online meetings in an effective and respectful manner.
Here are a few tips to be more effective (and mind your manners) during online meetings:
Please dress appropriately
If you choose to show yourself via video (depending on the meeting in question, it may be required or not), dressing appropriately is a must. When we’re home, we may be tempted to dress more casually and relax our upkeep in general. However, looking professional is as important remotely as it is in person, so please make sure to present a polished appearance (even if this means you’re wearing exercise shorts under your pussy-bow blouse).
Test your equipment beforehand
Technology is not always 100% reliable, so make sure to test your equipment beforehand. A quick check of the audio and video quality can go a long way towards ensuring that the meeting is not interrupted, delayed or canceled altogether due to avoidable technical difficulties.
Arrive early
As with in-person meetings, punctuality in online meetings is crucial. Arriving five to fifteen minutes early not only makes you look professional and reliable, but can also help address any connectivity and technical issues that may arise early.
Make sure to avoid photobombing as much as possible
Remember Professor Robert Kelly’s interview on BBC, when his children actually became the inadvertent stars of the show by photobombing the entire process? As a working mom, I could certainly relate, as my kids have been serious photobombing perpetrators in some of my online meetings and classes. As much as possible, try to schedule meetings at times when there is a lessened risk of your kids or family members interrupting you. Let your loved ones know of meetings in advance, find a somewhat secluded space to hold the meeting (if possible), to avoid instances of photobombing as much as possible.
Have a backup option available
Having more than one option available for online meetings can help you quickly adapt when your video call slows your computer down, or your Internet bandwith starts giving up on you. You can use your phone as a backup for instance.
Get some headphones if necessary
To get the most out of an online meeting, you must make sure you’re able to speak up and be heard well, and also be able to hear others well. Unless your computer audio quality is top notch, investing in reliable headphones may be the way to go.
When you’re not speaking, use the mute button
After having my share of online meetings interrupted by kids screaming in the background, or by the mailman delivering yet another pair of shoes I didn’t need, I’ve become best friends with the mute button. Rule of thumb: when not speaking, use the mute button. Just don’t forget to unmute yourself when it’s your turn to speak up.
Be courteous!
Even in online meetings, respect and courtesy remain key. This means allowing others to speak, not speaking over other people, and using the tools at your disposal to be courteous. Many online applications offer the option to raise your hand before speaking up, along with using the chat function to add additional information.
When in doubt, use humor
There are a number of factors that can impact online meetings, many of which are difficult to predict and/or prepare for, especially when you’re a working parent. When in doubt, or faced with your toddler wagging his diaper in your face or throwing an unplanned tantrum (aren’t they all?), don’t be afraid to use humor to deflate the tension. After all, we’re all human, and things happen.
What other tips would you suggest to be more effective in online meetings?
Talking to children about a crisis is extremely challenging, and at times downright heart-wrenching, especially as a parent. With the coronavirus crisis upon us, many working parents are faced with tough questions from their children. As a working mom, you may have been at the end of a string of inquiries from your kids, asking just about everything about this crisis, from why they have to stay home and skip school, to whether people can die of the virus and why.
I know I have, and have felt a painful pinch to my heart and tightness in my chest, as I tried finding the right words to explain the unexplainable. How do you tell young kids from one day to the other, they may not be able for a while to freely roam outside and touch everything in sight, see their grand-parents, cousins and friends, or that they now have to stay home until further notice? How do you use words that make sense, and somehow lighten the weight of the anxiety and frustration you may be experiencing yourself? And how do you talk to children about protecting themselves from the virus, and avoid spreading it around?
In times of crisis, children do worry as well. While they may express it in different terms, or act out about it, they can still sense and experience the stress, fear and anxiety around, especially when coming from their parents and closest loved ones. This is why it’s so important to have honest yet sensitive conversations with children, especially in times of crisis.
Assess what the child already knows and reduce his/her exposure
One thing I’ve learnt as a working mama is that children know much more than we give them credit for, especially now that many have more access to the internet and tech tools. This is all the more important that as children are stuck at home and much of their homework is located online, it’s challenging to reduce their screen time.
Ask them what they already know about the current situation, so you can correct any misconception. Reducing their exposure to news about COVID-19 may also help alleviate any anxiety and risk of misinformation.
Be honest
It may be tempting to embellish the truth to protect our younger ones. However, it’s crucial to be honest and give them accurate information, as long as it remains appropriate for their age and developmental level.
Teach them safety comes first
As part of talking to children about any crisis, including the coronavirus crisis, teaching them safety comes first is paramount. In the case of the coronavirus crisis, teach them about rules of safety, such as keeping a social distance from people, appropriately washing their hands or sneezing and coughing in the trash or into their elbow, among other preventative measures.
Let your behavior serve as a way: stay calm and non-judgmental
Children emulate our behavior more than they listen to what we say, as I’ve learnt at my own expense. That’s why I’m careful to assign blame in my words or actions, or to show too much frustration or anxiety. While we’re human and don’t have to keep our emotions tucked away, serving as a positive example can go a long way.
Kids pick up on adults’ behavioral cues, so staying calm when talking to them in times of crisis is essential. As much as possible, use a reassuring tone, even when conveying less than positive news.
You can find the CDC’s guidelines to talk to children ab by clicking here.
Have you talked to children about the coronavirus, or any other crisis? What additional tips would you add?
