“Busy” is not just the modern badge of honor these days. It’s also become the working woman and mom’s defining badge of honor. However, in these over-committed, over-burdened streets of working motherhood, made even more complex by a debilitating pandemic, we’re quickly learning that too busy doesn’t make an impact, especially as working women and working mom. That being stretched in too many directions, especially in times of crisis, only creates more chaos and even more crisis.
One of the most precious lessons the COVID-19 pandemic has taught me is that impact is better than busyness, especially at work. Like so many, it’s prompted me to ask myself what really matters and where I can create more impact. It’s also forced me, in the midst of the exhaustion and extreme stress of homeschooling, working, handling housework, and surviving the stress of living through a pandemic, to re-consider my too long professional to-do list. Most importantly, it’s reminded me, ironically in the midst of what turned out to be the busiest times of my life, of the importance of switching off the “busy” button…
But…how do you turn off the “busy machine” when there’s even more to do than usual? How do you keep up with not just yours, but the needs of others who may heavily depend on you at work (and outside of work)? And how do you not succumb to the angst of letting go of something that you shouldn’t have, or decreasing your performance ?
This is very much a personal process that affects each and every one of us differently, based on our individual circumstances, beliefs and mindsets.
However, while the process may look different for each and every one of us, there are some guiding questions we can all use:
What does impact mean to you and your work?
Having an impact means something different for each and every one of us, for our work and our organizations and businesses too. In my teaching career, impact is measured by how well students are being academically served. When I write, it’s about conveying a message that has the power to help, uplift, inspire and edify. What is impact in your line of work and for you?
How can you create the most impact?
Having an impact requires focus and strategy. Doing it all, as so many of us strive to do, doesn’t allow us to have optimal impact. I’ve found creating an impact requires Re-evaluating your involvement, trimming your to-do list, and releasing what does not fit. That can be hard to do when you’re used to doing so much…
Where can you create the most impact?
Sometimes we’re not having any impact, or the right kind of impact, because we’re not in the right place for us. Could it be that you’re overwhelmingly busy but not having real impact because you need to be somewhere else? It took a whole new career and change of professional trajectory for me to even begin to think about creating an impact.
If you find yourself being overwhelmed and so busy in your work there is no end in sight, yet discouraged because you’re not seeing your work’s impact, then these questions may help.
This week, a fellow working woman was blatantly and publicly insulted in the midst of her workplace, a victim of televised disrespect and misogyny. Her name is Representative Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), and both the incident itself and her response are a vibrant testimony to the misogyny in Congress, and in the workplace in general. It was also a loud reminder that an issue that should have now been long overdue is not only still very alive, but may actually just be worsening as time passes…
As a working woman, you may have experienced similar situations and incidents where you may have been publicly or privately disrespected by a male colleague. It may have been over a professional, or even a personal matter. And more likely than not, it may have hurt and affected you to your core. I know from experience that the few times I’ve had to face these types of situations, I felt diminished, less than, and like the air had been ripped out of my chest. It took me a long time to learn not to allow attacks like these to lessen my sense of self, and render me powerless. Still, despite the benefit of experience and time, addressing issues of misogynistic disrespect and sometimes flat-out aggression against working women.
How do you address disrespect that should not exist? How do you begin to dismantle patriarchal issues that may have lasted longer than you’ve been alive? How do you continuously defend the R-E-S-P-E-C-T that is due you in a professional yet direct and unequivocal way, when your career, your reputation and your coins are unfairly at stake? These are the questions that Ocasio-Cortez answers so eloquently and vehemently in her speech to Congress.
As I listened to her words, I was reminded, not just of the weight of these injustices, but also of the necessity for each and every one of us to continue to advocate for ourselves and our fellow working women:
Recognize disrespect and misogyny for what they are
In environments where gender inequity is the norm, it can be challenging to recognize instances of disrespect and misogynyfor what they are. Instead, we may be tempted to brush these incidents as par for the course and the price we must pay to rise to the top, or just not shake the precarious boat of our careers.
This is where it’s crucial to recognize the blatant, and not-so-blatant signs of disrespect and aggression directed at us and other working women. Too many toxic environments have been thriving on unhealthy sexist and misogynistic foundations, creating toxic surroundings for their members. Signs such as mansplaining, overly competitive traits, all the way to sexual harassment point to dangerous workplaces.
Don’t be afraid to call it out!
Whether you decide to address instances of disrespect and misogyny publicly or privately, don’t be afraid to call it out. Not only is it a way of bringing it to the other party’s attention, it’s also important for your own personal well-being and professional welfare.
However, whether you’re addressing your boss, colleague or a client, addressing it head-on may not be enough. In certain instances, you may have to refer to other superiors, or even Human Resources. While it may be intimidating to deal with these types of circumstances, choosing to endure or ignore them may only help to make matters worse over the long run.
Take time for self-care!
As I mentioned earlier, being disrespected and having to face misogynistic attitudes in the workplace takes a toll on working women. It’s not just an emotional toll, but also a mental and even physical one that may manifest in a number of negative ways, including loss of motivation, lack of productivity, and even chronic anxiety and depression.
As you face and confront these challenging types of issues, don’t forget to take time to care for yourself. This is not just about lighting candles and running yourself a bubble bath, but also taking advantage of mental health resources such as seeing a therapist for instance.
In her courageous stance against disrespect and misogyny against women, Republican Ocasio-Cortez reminded us all of the urgency of standing by women, believing women, and defending women.
Have you ever faced instances of disrespect and misogyny at work? Tell us your story by emailing corporate@thecorporatesister.com or posting a comment.
Disclaimer: Please note some of the links in this post are affiliate links, and I will get paid if you purchase through these links. Thank you!
As a busy mom, the one-piece swimsuit has definitely made a comeback for me in the past few years. Like many, I know first-hand how challenging it can be to find a swimsuit that is practical, comfortable and looks flattering, especially when you’re running after kids and trying to keep it together under the hot sun…
Here are my 10 favorite one-piece swimsuits for busy moms, who want to have it all under the sun (Click on the link and image to be taken to the product):
This teal Abbie one-piece beauty from Modcloth is both supportive and sultry, making it the perfect addition to your next getaway’s wardrobe. Featuring cross-back straps, light ruching, and a padded bust, it’s your perfect pool or beach companion!
The Ruffle Side Stroke – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
In a playful mood? This lava and hibiscus-colored, one-sleeve Ruffle Side Stroke swimsuit from Summersalt is fun and chic enough, while still offering supportive cups, for any day out in the sun. Comes in sizes 2 through 22.
Adventure is calling your name with this simple yet daring one-piece Cove stunner from Summersalt! The best part? You can use it as a swimsuit and as a bodysuit too! Available in sizes 2 -22.
The Tiger Plunge – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
Sexy and simple is the name of the game with this Tiger Plunge one-piece swimsuit from Nordstrom! A scooped back and notched neckline add to this unique design for va-va-voom swim look! Available in sizes 2-10.
The Sophia – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
Vintage-inspired florals turn this classic Sophia piece into a wave-maker and head-turner! You’ll have fun with the eclectic details such as the criss-cross straps, front and back cutouts, and knotted accents. Available from sizes S-XL.
This Oasis stunner from Summersalt is truly an oasis of style and comfort, with its stylish belt added onto an otherwise classic swim silhouette. Available in sizes 2-14.
This Ruffle Backflip one-piece swimsuit will have you make backflips all over the place, with its classic polka dot design spiced up with ruffled sleeves and a deep, but not too deep, neckline. Available from sizes 2-22.
For those of us in need of full coverage like myself, this flamenco one-piece suit is the dream! Featuring a classic bandeau style, soft support, shirring in the waist, and removable, adjustable neck straps, it will keep you in place, and in style! Available in sizes 0-14.
The Reese One-Piece Swimsuit – Photo credit: shopstylecollective.com
Last but not least, this classic Reese one-piece swimsuit bursts with femininity! Elegantly cinched at the waist, ruffled around the neckline and boasting a beautiful print, it’s perfect for a ladylike day at the beach or pool! Available in S-XL.
Ready for a dip in the pool or at the beach? Send us your suggestions at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
Welcome to Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
In historical news, NBC News reports Joy Ann Reid is set to host the Reid-Out on MSNBC, making her the first Black woman to anchor a prime time news show in the US;
Black Enterprise reveals Auntie Miche is debuting her new podcast on July 29 and we’re here for it!
Working Mother lists the most common work benefits working mamas are missing out on;
Worried about your finances during this pandemic? The Corporate Sister is discussing how to re-organize your coins in this season;
Trying to get out there and attract the attention of hiring managers or clients? US News shares important tips on how to write a professional bio;
The Glassdoor Blog reports how various companies are honoring the call for diversity and inclusion;
Business Insider tips us off on 4 essential networking strategies to get hired during the COVID-19 pandemic;
Needing clarity as an entrepreneur during these uncertain times? Entrepreneur shares a few strategies;
Hey mamas, ever thought of soliciting feedback from…your kids? The Harvard Business Review encourages you to do so;
Dear Working Mom is our weekly love letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about motherhood, life, work and everything in between…
Dear working mom,
You’ve gone through A LOT as a working mother, juggling family, home and work, sometimes all by yourself. Despite the pressure, especially in these times of pandemic, you’ve kept going, pushing through the daily obstacles and walls in your way, resisting the urge to give up, fighting through tears, frustration and overwhelm…Yet, you keep saying yes to requests coming your way, from personal to professional demands on your time and energy, even when you know deep inside you can’t take much more of this pressure…
You’re an undeniable source of support for so many, from your kids, spouse and family, to your friends and colleagues at work. Most people know they can count on you to be there, to do them favors, to pick them up when they fail. You know it too, all too well, so well that it’s become virtually impossible for you to say no. What you also know, all too well, is that you’re sinking under the weight of a to-do list that’s getting longer by the day, and expectations that are becoming heavier by the minute…
You’re overwhelmed, and you’ve been for quite some time. Or is the reality that you’re overextended, over-committed, and in over your head? And that, after all, you’ve been allowing it all along? As a matter of fact, you may even have been deriving some of your worth from it, even getting some sort of a “high” from this feeling of being so indispensable, so crucial to so many…Yet, it’s killing you, literally and figuratively…
In this pandemic season of added, crushing pressure, reeling uncertainty and acute fear, you may be suddenly realizing that instead of waiting for things (and people) to change on their own, you may just be the change you need. That being so against the wall of duty and responsibility, may just be teaching you how much you need to let go of control. That this weight may just be a blessing in disguise, offering you the saving grace of going back to the basics, and letting go of what (and who) stretches you too thin and too far.
At the end of the day, yes, you’re tired, exhausted even, because you’re over-committed. Decide to forgive yourself for not knowing better, for taking on too much, for bravely attempting to be all things to all people. But don’t unpack and stay there. Decide to move forward with a lighter baggage, devoid of others’ overwhelming expectations and demands. Decide to give yourself the grace you’ve so desperately been waiting for others to give you. Be your own kind of change, your own revolution.
Dare to say no, to decline, to ask for what you need. Dare to not be available, to save some of yourself for yourself, and to require that your time and energy be valued and respected. Date to do your own thing, to be your own person, and to let the chips fall where they may.
Last but not least, dare to release the habits, mindsets, beliefs, places, people, that prevent you from reclaiming your wholeness. Dare to take back the pieces of you that you’re going to need to continue and finish your own race. Dare to let go of exhaustion, overwhelm, and over-commitment as badges of honor, because you deserve more…
