Yesterday, I heard of yet another story of yet another working mother handing in her resignation letter for lack of adequate childcare, as I myself was struggling to figure out school arrangements for my kids this coming Fall. . There are thousands of stories like these in these times of pandemic. Working mothers are being backed, yet again, against the age-old wall of the excruciating choice between work and family. Except this is 2020, and most of us thought we had won this battle a long time ago…Apparently not.
Working mothers are abandoning years of investment in their education and careers, along with their mental, physical and spiritual balance, to make up for societal weaknesses that should no longer exist. While these are dire, unprecedented times, they are also times that should prompt us to re-visit why we even have to ask this age-old question again. For many, if not most, it’s an impossible choice that takes food off of the table of honest, deserving working families. For all, it’s a sobering realization that there is so much more work to do for gender equity, which is at the core of our society’s stability.
At this point, the answer to this desperately cruel question is yes, for most working moms. While some may not have to up and leave the workforce entirely, most have to make painfully hard sacrifices to make it work, somehow. However, the future answer to this question does not have to remain so. Movements such as the Invest In Parents Pledge, a movement by working family advocates to support, protect and invest in working parents, especially during this period of pandemic, are helping to change the narrative. Employers and individuals who sign the Invest In Parents Pledge commit to advocating for and supporting working parents so they can remain in, and succeed in the workforce.
In general, a greater awareness, and willingness to address the staggering issues facing working mothers, and working parents overall, is needed. Meaningful action from organizations, companies and governments, is also crucial to effect positive change. This pandemic has been, and still is, a true wake-up call alerting and reminding us of the places in and outside of us in need of repair and even complete overhaul.
The not-so-new pandemic question for working moms is one that has spanned across centuries, and has reared its ugly head again in the wake of the current pandemic. It’s an old question that will not go away until we all make the conscious decision to create environments, organizations and societies that do not force working women to choose between their work and their family.
Welcome to Let It Be Friday!, where I say hello (and TGIF), and round up the lifestyle, career and business news that inspired, excited, made me smile (or laugh out loud).
This week commemorates 1 year since we lost novelist extraordinaire Toni Morrison, and NPR celebrates her visions of love;
Business Insider reveals Texas Democrat Candace Valenzuela could become the first Black Latina elected to Congress;
Depression is real, and there’s no shame about it! Michelle Obama opens up about suffering from lo-grade depression in Black Enterprise during these challenging times;
Entrepreneur introduces the 19th, a not-for-profit serving as a newsroom for politics and policy for women and by women;
Back-to-school season looks very different this year. Working Mother suggests considering daycare providers when schools close;
Not using your makeup? Corporette suggests ways to preserve it instead;
Recruiter shares how women can better support each other at work;
Wondering what to watch this weekend? Discover the Nigerian film industry, as Fast Company suggests 7 films to watch for a Netflix and Nollywood weekend;
Last but not least, a reminder by our very own The Corporate Sister for all working moms that your time is as valuable as your partner’s!
In times of crisis, your career is bound to experience some significant changes. Whether you find yourself in the middle of a pandemic, as we are at the moment, are going through a health-related ordeal, a life change such as a divorce, death of a loved one, or move, your work is not going to remain the same, especially as a working woman and mom. Yet, these are exactly the times you can use to grow your career.
I know every crisis I have faced has had an impact on my career, sometimes for the best, other times for the worst, always for a bigger purpose in the end. Over time, I’ve learnt to welcome these changes, and not desperately fight to maintain my career above water. After all, as working women and moms, all the parts of our lives are intricately inter-woven as we often don’t have the luxury of compartmentalizing the various areas of our lives. Instead, were’ most often pressured to wear our different hats at the same time. So can you really grow your career in times of crisis as a working woman and mom? As a matter of fact, times of crisis and challenge are often what take our careers to the next level, or on a much better trajectory.
From mine and so many other working women and moms’ experience through crisis and challenges, here are three tips to use times of crisis and challenges to grow your career:
Dare to be vulnerable and keep the communication open!
One of the biggest mistakes I made when facing life changes and crisis was to keep these to myself. As working women and moms often faced with false, diminishing stereotypes in the workplace, it may be challenging and intimidating to show vulnerability at work. Many have actually been burnt when showing their vulnerable side at work. However, the negative reactions of a few should not set the tone of how we should work better.
While you should be cautious as to who you open yourself up to at work, not opening yourself up at all, especially when dealing with life-altering circumstances, can prove more hurtful than anything else. Don’t be afraid to show some vulnerability and keep the lines of communication open, especially with your boss, direct team and colleagues. Not only will this help you from having to carry an unjustified burden at the wrong time, but may even help to bring you closer to your work team!
Set clear boundaries and expectations
In the same token, set clear expectations and boundaries of and with yourself and your team at work. During the COVID-19 crisis, many working moms are facing unspeakable challenges with child and home care, yet many are remaining silent, shouldering unrealistic and life-threatening at times burdens.
Have the courage to set expectations that make your load bearable and realistic. For some, this may mean setting alternate hours, or having frank conversations with your manager about workload, or even taking some time off. Whatever expectations and boundaries are needed, be brave enough to address them. They will not only help you lift a too heavy weight off your shoulders, but will also gain you the respect of your colleagues and team for speaking up.
Re-assess, re-evaluate, and re-assess some more!
Times of challenge are also times of growth and expansion. It’s very often when we find our backs against the wall, that we are now forced to re-consider our patterns, habits and decisions. Use these times to constantly re-assess, re-evaluate and re-consider your options. You may find out that you were wasting precious time on inefficiencies in your work processes, or that you are ready for a career transition altogether.
Sometimes, we get too bogged down on the details, so much that we lose sight of the need to take some time to assess where we stand, where we’re coming from and where we’re headed. In our careers, this exercise of constant re-assessment is not an indulgence, it’s actually a necessity.
Don’t be afraid when hard times bring on change. That’s exactly what they are meant to create. Instead, commit to using the rough patches, the life-altering moments, the wrenching decisions and transitions of work, to propel you instead of slowing you down.
How are you using the current COVID-19 crisis to grow your career?
Dear Working Mom is our weekly love letter to working moms everywhere, where we talk about motherhood, life, work and everything in between…
Dear Working Mom,
You’ve been giving of your time and energy as long as you can remember. As a matter of fact, as long as anyone can remember…Subtly, and at times not so subtly, your time has been taken for granted. It’s been assumed that because you carry the load so well, it must not be that heavy. That you can handle the household chores, the kids’ education and care, your elders’ care, your career or business, and so much more, concurrently and well…Even with your partner at home, your load has become increasingly larger and larger, taking up every minute of the day, and most of the time not even allowing you a minute to yourself, to your dreams, to your personal ambitions, to the essence of who you are…
You may find yourself operating in catch-up mode most of the time, repeatedly picking back up what you had to drop to attend to unplanned emergencies, to the kids, or the house…Before you know it, that dream of writing the book, starting your own business, or opening that boutique, has faded in the background of punctual obligations and commitments. Meanwhile, it seems your partner’s time is too valuable to be at the mercy of the same unforgiving demands and requests of family and personal life…It’s made you question your own sense of worth and self-esteem, yet you’ve just kept plugging right along…
And you’re certainly not making this up either…Just in the past few months, according to a study by the Washington University in St Louis, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, working moms have had to reduce their hours by about 5%. As a result, moms also tend to work less hours than dads during this period, and will be more likely to quit their jobs and suffer from mental health consequences. You’ve known the heavy burden you carry is not good for you. You’ve known it for a long time, and may have even started growing resentful because of it…. You may even have started giving voice to your concerns, and started a conversation or two with your partner. There may even have been some progress made, but it may still not be enough…
Could it be that you may have to acknowledge, to yourself first, that your time is as valuable as your partner’s, or anyone else’s for that matter? That the self-sacrificial and worthlessness messages that you, along so many other working moms, have received from society, may have been flawed from the start? That it may start with believing you deserve more, and daring to have the difficult conversations, the challenges to the status quo, and to make the necessary changes to make room for you too?
Your time is valuable. Your time is worth being considered. Your time matters. Just as much as your partner’s…
I was in the middle of a meeting, when I caught myself using the same organizational principles I use at home with my two kids (and the guinea pig). Fast-forward dozens of other meetings, and it boggled my mind how much
You may have heard the saying ” Nothing is new under the sun”. As new and increasingly more complex as current times may be, we may be tempted to think we don’t have the right tools to tackle yet another seemingly unknown challenge, yet another obstacle on our way. That we need brand new, revolutionary strategies to address the setbacks that come in our way. However, what we often realize, after much unneeded stress and angst, is that there is often no need to reinvent the wheel. Besides, as working women and moms, there are not enough hours in the day for us to do so.
I first learnt of the art of repurposing when I was self-educating and binging on copywriting books. Repurposing is basically “adapting something for a different purpose”. As working women and moms, one of the (only) saving graces of gender inequity is that we get to create and get exposed to so many experiences, tasks, ideas and processes. These are the same experiences, tasks, ideas and processes that can be re-used in different areas and parts of our lives and work. Hence why there is no one better at re-purposing than the working woman and mom, and that is exactly where our force resides…
Here are three (3) ways that you and I, and working women and moms, can use the art and the power of repurposing in our careers and businesses:
Repurpose your skills
How many skills have you acquired in the process of going through your life and professional experiences, that you may tuck inside your memory and forget about? Working moms, how many organizational and managerial skills have you acquired just from raising kids and running a full household? What do you keep on learning day in and day out that you can re-purpose to your work?
For instance, you may have learnt new networking skills from your side hustle, or taken up a new coding class with your bestie, which can all contribute to your career or business in positive ways.
What skills have you acquired lately that can you repurpose at work?
Repurpose your experiences
You’ve gone through many experiences already in your personal and professional life, which have equipped you with additional skills. How about re-using these skills at work? Therapy has taught me so much about mine and others’ personalities, which has made it much easier to navigate professional environments. Going through certain types of hardships has also taught me how to better handle delays and unexpected turns of events at work too.
What have your experiences taught you that you can re-apply in your career or business?
Repurpose your ideas and processes
I use a lot of the same techniques I employ in my side business in my career, from negotiation skills to follow-up. Re-purposing your unique ideas and processes can go a long way at work, especially as a working woman often short on time.
What unique ideas and processes you used or have been using in one area of your life can you re-use for work?
As a working woman and mom, you truly don’t have to re-invent the wheel in your career and business. Re-purposing your skills, experiences, ideas and processes may not only help you save precious time, but also give you an incomparable competitive advantage.
