In these times of pandemic and economic uncertainty, many, if not most workplaces, have resorted to remote interviews to hire employees. This also means that new criteria and different techniques are now being added onto the interviewing process, which can be intimidating and confusing for some. For working women, this adds an additional layer of complexity to a process that already tends to discriminate against and disadvantage female candidates. Whereas in-person interviews are unfortunately riddled with gender bias according to the research paper by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, remote interviews can amplify this bias as a result of the distance and lack of personal touch in the process.
When recently coaching a student of mine prepping for an upcoming interview, it was clear that the interviewing process has changed from what it traditionally has been. For working women, this translates into yet more adjustments as we tackle a new work normal. This includes handling the technology appropriately, leveraging your environment, and maintaining the human touch:
Master the technology before-hand
One crucial and new part of interviewing remotely is the technology involved. At the time of scheduling, inquire of the video platform that will be used and test the link provided. It’s also wise to obtain the interviewer’s information if you have any questions as you test the technology, or encounter any issues prior to or during the process.
Whether it all happens on Zoom or on a different platform, you want to make sure that you are prepared accordingly . This means testing your technology before-hand by ensuring your camera is ready and your audio is working, ensuring that your tools are available, charged and ready for the set time, and confirming all logistical details with the interviewer. Rehearse before-hand and if necessary, ask a loved one or friend to help you practice, so they can provide you with feedback as to your appearance and how you sound.
The more technologically prepared you are, the more chances you have at lessening some of the gender bias that inevitably gets perpetuated during remote interviews.
Leverage your environment
Since you will be appearing on camera, your environment is bound to play a crucial role. Start with your appearance first, and ensure you look professional without being awkward. While you may not necessarily need to wear a suit jacket, you may want to show up with a professional attire. While I suggest avoiding distracting details such as dangling earrings or noisy accessories, you should nevertheless not shrink from showing your own style and personality as authentically as possible.
Consider your background next. In most cases, a neutral background works best. As much as you can, try to avoid virtual backgrounds that may look inappropriate or distort your image in the camera. While you may prefer sitting down, you may consider standing up as you’re being interviewed, as it will allow for your voice to project better, and will help you sound and look more energetic and engaged. Last but not least, inform other members of your household, especially children, about your upcoming interview so they don’t barge onto the screen unannounced.
Maintain the human touch
Remote interviews can feel quite impersonal. This is why it is so important to maintain the human touch through the entire process. Begin with your own mindset, and mentally prepare to have a positive outlook and mindset. As there are less non-verbal cues to build up on during remote interviews, it can be easy to feel and show some discouragement. However, mentally equipping yourself for a positive outcome, whether by using affirmations, mantras, or meditating prior, can make a world of difference.
Another way to show much needed humanity during a remote interview is to inquire of the interviewer on a personal level. This is not about getting too personal or inquisitive. Instead, and especially in the current pandemic and dire economic circumstances we’re facing, it’s about showing some concern and warmth during difficult times.
Last but not least, add a touch of humor to the process. We’re all human, and we all make mistakes. So what if one of your kids runs across the room in the middle of the interview? Or if your camera stops working for a few seconds? Life happens, and we’re only human…
What other tips would you recommend for working women to ace remote interviews?
As working moms, there is so much depending on us at the family, personal and professional level. It can also mean carrying oodles of responsibilities that sometimes end up hurting us more than help us. For those of us who may have perfectionist tendencies, this can also translate into struggling to let go of control, especially as working moms. This is all the more acute lately as so many of us are facing unprecedented circumstances in light of the current COVID-19 pandemic and dire economic situation.
This is something that like many other working moms, I have had to struggle with in my own journey. It’s so tempting to want to have a solid handle on most, if not all aspects, of our lives and work. However, as I quickly realized and as you may have as well, there is only so much we can control, especially when other humans are involved. Parenting and marriage especially have taught me, very often the hard way, that holding on to control can actually be more destructive than helpful. As a matter of fact, the longer I’ve been a working mom, the more acutely I’ve realized that relinquishing control is a blessing. It’s also an art that requires a solid sense of self, as well as conscious practice and skills over time.
Through conversations and resource-sharing with other working moms, as well as trial and error in my own experience, here are three of the most effective strategies I’ve learnt to let go of control as a working mom:
Pinpoint the source of your need for control
One of my working mom friends once asked me: “Have you ever asked yourself why you feel the need to control certain aspects of your life and work?” This was a wake-up call for me. We often fail to identify the why behind the way we feel or act, looking for solutions outside of ourselves instead of starting by looking within.
Have you ever asked yourself why it is so important for you to be in control? It may be stemming from childhood, or maybe from past disappointment, or from a sense of fear or anxiety about the future. Working on identifying the source of our need for control can go a long way towards helping us heal, and relieve some of the heavy pressure so many of us are under.
Get help
Sometimes, dealing with the pressure of having to hold all the pieces of our lives and work together can simply be too much. This is where asking for, and getting the help we need, can prove invaluable. It may simply be asking for help with kids’ pickup, or delegating a task to someone else at work, or even hiring a housekeeper periodically.
What can help you relieve some of the pressure you’re under and let go of some of the control that may be crushing you?
Invest in self-care
Self-care is vital for working moms, especially in the days we live in and the constant stress we face. It’s not just about bubble baths and mani-pedis, but about healing and restoring ourselves as often as possible.
Some of this self-care may take the form of therapy for some, or time away for others. Whichever form of self-care you choose, it should help you replenish yourself and let go of some of the crushing pressure you may be facing as a working mom nowadays.
How have you managed to let go of the need for control as a working mom?
Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, tackling some of the issues we deal with as working mamas and spreading love to all working moms out there…
How many times have you looked at what other moms are doing, questioning the validity of your own parenting style? How many times have you scrolled down social media pages, wondering at the glossy pictures of impeccably organized and stylish moms, while you were still dressing straight from the laundry bag? And how many times have you fallen victim to mom-shaming, either from yourself or other mothers?
The truth is, as working moms, and as parents in general, we’re constantly doubting our mothering abilities. While society and organizations shame and punish us for being ambitious, we tend to also shame and punish ourselves for not doing it all, and doing it all perfectly. This is also what pushes us to question ourselves, our decisions as mothers and working parents, as well as each other…
In these times of pandemic and remote schooling, so many of us have questioned our instincts and decisions as to whether to send our kids back to in-person school or keep them at home. As working parents who may have to physically show up at work, the choice can be excruciating. It can also create much comparison between working moms in different situations, contexts, environments, as well as social and financial brackets. Yet another example of how so many working moms get stuck between a rock and a hard place…
As a working mom who’s had to go back to work a mere few weeks after the birth of both babies, and work outside of the home, comparison, hurtful, demeaning, and heartbreaking comparison are not foreign to me either. Like so many, it’s been, and still is at times, a struggle not to question my own parenting decisions and not to wonder how different things would have been if I had made different choices…Then I remember that as unique as my children and family are, so am I and so is my parenting style. That our kids learn and accept to be their unique selves and build their own unique life stories from our ability to learn and accept our own parenting stories…
While the self-doubt and guilt may always be there as a painful yet inherent part of our parenting, they don’t need to rob us of our joy, energy and purpose as working moms. Neither does comparing ourselves to other mothers and their own unique parenting style…There are a million ways to mother, and each one of these that is rooted in a healthy love, is as valid as the next…
Social justice has been on the minds of many, if not most of us, lately. In the midst of the two pandemics we’ve been experiencing, from COVID-19 to racial unrest, so many of us have been asking ourselves how we can contribute to improving social justice. In this post, I discuss how we can use our careers as a platform for social justice.
Recently, I had the privilege to take part in #ScholarStrike, a movement inspired by the NBA, WNBA, Colin Kaepernick, and other athletes, and open to anyone in colleges and institutions, to bring awareness to racial justice in America. For many, it took the form of teach-ins and sharing resources on racial justice, often related to certain disciplines in particular. This movement is a testimony to the extent to which each and every one of us can use our own careers as platforms for social justice.
If you’ve been wondering what you can do, and how you can use your own work as a platform for social justice, here are a few ways you can do so:
Start with showing up as your authentic self!
Too few of us have the resources and courage to show up as our authentic selves in our workplaces. Very often, it’s through no fault of our own. It may be out of intimidation or lack of encouragement or structural organization, to cite a few. However, working out the courage to show up as who we are, especially as minorities and working women, sets up to teach and learn about what makes us and others unique in our own right.
When I started showing up as my authentic self at work, it felt scary. Like many, I had learnt the art of code-switching as I saw others do it as a way to fit in. Yet, the more I dared to open up, the more I watched other working women in general and women of color in particular muster the bravery to own their place in the room, the more I understood how much our mere presence can make an impact.
Share resources
The basic definition of social justice revolves around the equitable distribution of resources and opportunities to all. These resources may be of a varied nature, from economic, financial, political, to informational resources. This is where each and every one of us can use our positions, our knowledge, insight, as well as physical, financial and economic resources to make a difference.
One of the main resources I rely upon in my teaching work, writing and consulting is the power of education and knowledge, and the wealth that is in sharing information around. In your own position, it may be about empowering communities with money, food, or other opportunities that over time can help re-establish the balance of equity and justice for all.
Serve as a role model
My pastor once said: “For many people, the only Bible they will read is your life”. I would humbly add that for many, your work will serve as one of the only models they will have of equity and social justice, in whatever form it may take. While many of us may think our careers may not create as much impact, there is always someone coming behind, or walking by our side, or watching us from afar, and for whom we may serve as a role model.
You never know who you inspire by the work you do and the life you live. Whether it’s through mentoring someone else, serving as an ally at work, or starting a business that changes lives, your example can help in re-distributing opportunities and resources to all.
How can you use your career as a platform for social justice?
