Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, tackling some of the issues we deal with as working mamas and spreading love to all working moms out there…
How many times have you looked at what other moms are doing, questioning the validity of your own parenting style? How many times have you scrolled down social media pages, wondering at the glossy pictures of impeccably organized and stylish moms, while you were still dressing straight from the laundry bag? And how many times have you fallen victim to mom-shaming, either from yourself or other mothers?
The truth is, as working moms, and as parents in general, we’re constantly doubting our mothering abilities. While society and organizations shame and punish us for being ambitious, we tend to also shame and punish ourselves for not doing it all, and doing it all perfectly. This is also what pushes us to question ourselves, our decisions as mothers and working parents, as well as each other…
In these times of pandemic and remote schooling, so many of us have questioned our instincts and decisions as to whether to send our kids back to in-person school or keep them at home. As working parents who may have to physically show up at work, the choice can be excruciating. It can also create much comparison between working moms in different situations, contexts, environments, as well as social and financial brackets. Yet another example of how so many working moms get stuck between a rock and a hard place…
As a working mom who’s had to go back to work a mere few weeks after the birth of both babies, and work outside of the home, comparison, hurtful, demeaning, and heartbreaking comparison are not foreign to me either. Like so many, it’s been, and still is at times, a struggle not to question my own parenting decisions and not to wonder how different things would have been if I had made different choices…Then I remember that as unique as my children and family are, so am I and so is my parenting style. That our kids learn and accept to be their unique selves and build their own unique life stories from our ability to learn and accept our own parenting stories…
While the self-doubt and guilt may always be there as a painful yet inherent part of our parenting, they don’t need to rob us of our joy, energy and purpose as working moms. Neither does comparing ourselves to other mothers and their own unique parenting style…There are a million ways to mother, and each one of these that is rooted in a healthy love, is as valid as the next…
Social justice has been on the minds of many, if not most of us, lately. In the midst of the two pandemics we’ve been experiencing, from COVID-19 to racial unrest, so many of us have been asking ourselves how we can contribute to improving social justice. In this post, I discuss how we can use our careers as a platform for social justice.
Recently, I had the privilege to take part in #ScholarStrike, a movement inspired by the NBA, WNBA, Colin Kaepernick, and other athletes, and open to anyone in colleges and institutions, to bring awareness to racial justice in America. For many, it took the form of teach-ins and sharing resources on racial justice, often related to certain disciplines in particular. This movement is a testimony to the extent to which each and every one of us can use our own careers as platforms for social justice.
If you’ve been wondering what you can do, and how you can use your own work as a platform for social justice, here are a few ways you can do so:
Start with showing up as your authentic self!
Too few of us have the resources and courage to show up as our authentic selves in our workplaces. Very often, it’s through no fault of our own. It may be out of intimidation or lack of encouragement or structural organization, to cite a few. However, working out the courage to show up as who we are, especially as minorities and working women, sets up to teach and learn about what makes us and others unique in our own right.
When I started showing up as my authentic self at work, it felt scary. Like many, I had learnt the art of code-switching as I saw others do it as a way to fit in. Yet, the more I dared to open up, the more I watched other working women in general and women of color in particular muster the bravery to own their place in the room, the more I understood how much our mere presence can make an impact.
Share resources
The basic definition of social justice revolves around the equitable distribution of resources and opportunities to all. These resources may be of a varied nature, from economic, financial, political, to informational resources. This is where each and every one of us can use our positions, our knowledge, insight, as well as physical, financial and economic resources to make a difference.
One of the main resources I rely upon in my teaching work, writing and consulting is the power of education and knowledge, and the wealth that is in sharing information around. In your own position, it may be about empowering communities with money, food, or other opportunities that over time can help re-establish the balance of equity and justice for all.
Serve as a role model
My pastor once said: “For many people, the only Bible they will read is your life”. I would humbly add that for many, your work will serve as one of the only models they will have of equity and social justice, in whatever form it may take. While many of us may think our careers may not create as much impact, there is always someone coming behind, or walking by our side, or watching us from afar, and for whom we may serve as a role model.
You never know who you inspire by the work you do and the life you live. Whether it’s through mentoring someone else, serving as an ally at work, or starting a business that changes lives, your example can help in re-distributing opportunities and resources to all.
How can you use your career as a platform for social justice?
How do you network when you can’t actually physically meet people? That’s the question so many of us grapple with in the new normal that the COVID-19 pandemic has placed us in. Instead of naturally meeting in person, we’re now forced to interact through a screen and adhere to the rules of virtual networking. However, it’s not because we’re facing drastically different circumstances, that we should forego networking, especially as working women and moms who have been excluded (and in some aspects still are) from many an exclusive professional network.
As a working mom, it was not until I was well into my career that I understood the importance of networking. The same reality has faced, and is still facing lost of working women like myself. Not being socialized to view networking as an important part of our careers, in addition to not being allowed into important networks and old boys’ club, has turned networking into working women’s most prevalent Achille’s heel. Yet, as relationship-oriented communicators, women are natural networkers, whether in person or virtually. However, when the already challenging waters of networking are further constricted by the need to be virtual most of the time, it has the potential to put women even more at a professional disadvantage.
This is where learning to adapt and network virtually becomes more of a necessity rather than an indulgence. While it may seem intimidating to create mutually beneficial connections through a screen, it is actually possible, and even practical, to do so. The flexibility and convenience offered by technology allow for more opportunities for networking events, while the plethora of technology available can make it easier to follow up on established connections. In addition to these technological advantages, here are 3 simple ways to succeed at networking virtually:
Leverage the power of social media and technology
A great advantage to living in this current era is the sheer abundance of ways to communicate and connect. From social media to email, not to mention text messaging, countless networks are literally at our fingertips. Why not take advantage of all these opportunities?
Use social media platforms such as Linked In to identify individuals and communities you are interested in networking with, and learning more about them. Sharing articles, responding to and commenting on posts, or even sending direct messages are a few ways to informally network with these and set the foundation for healthy and mutually beneficial relationships. Online communities, such as professional groups in certain industries, can also greatly facilitate the creation of online relationships. Last but not least, joining online events through social medial platforms or other technological tools can also contribute to accomplishing your networking goals.
Keep the human touch
Networking is not just about mechanically meeting people, and expanding your roster of connections. It’s first and foremost about establishing human relationships, that are mutually beneficial for both parties. This involves the understanding that a back-and-forth exchange has to occur between both parties involved, and that a natural relationship should come out of this.
This is where maintaining the human touch is crucial. Allowing for a natural flow, sharing personal stories and anecdotes, finding common interests and tastes, just like in any natural relationship, are all ways to build a natural connection. While doing this in a virtual environment can be more challenging, remaining as authentic and natural as possible is key.
Follow up!
Following up is to networking what a spectacular signature is to a good email. A good follow-up can literally make or break a networking relationship, especially at the beginning. This is even more relevant when networking virtually. In the absence of physical cues and body language, creating a sense of continuity in the relationship by following up via email, text message or social media is invaluable.
All in all, networking virtually can present challenges and seem unfamiliar. However, it is also an opportunity to leverage the power of technology to keep building human connections at work.
What do you think of networking virtually? What other tips would you add to the list?
In this new COVID-19 virtual era that our “new normal” is, giving virtual presentations, whether for an interview, or career or business-related, has become indispensable. However, mastering the art of giving effective virtual presentations can present a few challenges. Not being in the physical presence of others, lacking body language and facial cues, can make it cumbersome to deliver online when presenting information.
I know as an introvert myself, holding online presentations, especially while teaching, was quite intimidating at first. There is a lot more to take into account when delivering information virtually, from the technology to the attendees, while being deprived of the usual physical and facial signs we’re so accustomed to getting in “normal” circumstances. For me, it’s been a matter of re-learning to communicate in a different way, and adapting my personality, body and image to present valuable information in a way that remains authentic and practical for myself and others.
I first had to assess myself and identify my own fears or pre-conceptions around communicating virtually. Interestingly enough, many of these were rooted in my lack of familiarity and comfort with the appropriate technology to use. Once I was able to get a better handle on the technology, it became a bit easier. Then it became a matter of engaging my audience enough to have a conversation, instead of a boring monologue. This is where the human factor came in for me, and helped me take down some of the inherent communication barriers that come with anything virtual. Last but not least, creating a lasting impact was important for me, especially in a virtual world where things and people are forgotten so easily.
If you’ve been working on improving your virtual presentations, or feel frozen every time you have to get on Zoom, then here are a few tips that can help with giving outstanding virtual presentations:
Preparation, preparation, preparation!
One valuable lesson I learnt about effective virtual presentations was to always come extra-prepared. There is much more of a lack of predictability online than in person, from the technology refusing to collaborate to attendees’ lack of participation. This means coming in a few minutes earlier to check that the tech side of things, from the wi-fi connection to the computers being sufficiently charged, is up to par. Having a back-up laptop or device, as well as a copy of your presentation, can also go a long way in case things go awry. Sending reminders to attendees can also prove helpful in ensuring the presentation stays top of mind for everyone involved.
Being mentally prepared is also an essential component here, from ensuring you have enough stamina to keep you going, to calming your nerves before (and during) the event.
Engagement is key!
The key to a successful, and fulfilling virtual presentation, is engagement. That’s the human factor that can create a vacuum when lacking from interactions, even if they are online. Yet, a very real question remains: How do you engage an audience that you can see but are not in the presence of? This was stressful to me when I first started doing virtual presentations as a professor and speaker.
Creating engagement for me is a matter of maintaining a sense of conversation as opposed to running a one-sided monologue. This includes adopting a conversational tone, engaging in a back-and-forth with the audience through questions and activities, as well as encouraging and picking up on the questions and signs the audience is sending.
Takeaways
Last but not least, offering take-aways is also key to an outstanding virtual presentation. It’s important to create a lasting impact through your presentation, which ups the human factor and helps in establishing lasting human connections, thus creating more of a sense of a natural as opposed to a virtual exchange.
This can be done by offering a downloadable document for attendees to take with them, or a potential follow-up event or meeting. The point here is to create a sense of continuity and connection that lasts even after the presentation is complete.
