As I was preparing for a presentation on women at work , one of the recurring questions that came forth was: “Will this career allow me to be a mom and have work-life balance?” First, the term itself, work-life balance makes me cringe at every turn. In a modern society and at a time where the lines between work and life have been so blurred, especially during a pandemic with a predominantly virtual “new normal”, where is the balance to be found? Second, the mere consideration of women weighing motherhood against work is upsetting enough to take yet another coffee break. Truth is, working moms have been trapped by the false idea of work-life balance. And it’s high time it stopped…
As a working mom, like most, many, if not most of my career decisions have been shaped by motherhood. From transitioning careers, to letting go of travel and certain aspects of work not compatible with motherhood, it’s meant making choices that others did not have to make. What it also means is that these choices, and the doors they lead to, are predicated upon such a natural and human occurrence as becoming a mother. In the tight space between these difficult choices and motherhood, lies the dilemma of so many working moms being told to strive for an elusive work-life balance…As a result, young women are entering careers that are neither aligned with nor fulfilling to their purpose. Mid-career women are having to leave a part of their identity through work, having no choice but to save their families as caretakers. More experienced career women are being victims to even more false misconceptions, including ageism.
While the boundaries between life and work have become increasingly blurred, more and more working women are getting clearer about their priorities. As the resulting health, economic and mental crisis as disproportionately affected working women by shifting the caretaking and household burden almost exclusively on them, it also allowed for a reckoning of the issues faced by women. As such, it is also making the conversation around women and work, including work-life balance, louder and hopefully more constructive and conducive to real solutions:
Work-life balance is elusive
While the term work-life balance has been thrown around left and right for the longest time, the concept behind it is quite elusive in practice. How do you establish a balance between overlapping areas such as life and work? As a working mom, being at work inevitably means missing out on precious moments as a mother and caretaker. Conversely, stepping down from or reducing work obligations to devote more time to caretaking activities can be rewarding, yet it can also translate into lost dreams and delayed aspirations. There’s really no win-win here, and no true sense of balance…
Find what matters to you
At the end of the day, it’s less about establishing an artificial sense of balance and equilibrium, than it is about pursuing your own path and purpose. What matters to you may be insignificant or irrelevant to someone else, yet it may truly define what you are about. Identifying what truly matters to you and makes a real impact for you and others is key to escape the entrapment of a traditional work-life balance, and live life on your own terms.
Prioritize your well-being
The relentless search for work-life balance can often lead to exhaustion, as you strive to juggle the personal and professional in an endless quest for the perfect equilibrium. In all the loud arguments for and against work-life balance, true well-being may be left out of the loop. Each individual’s need for and understanding of their own well-being does not necessarily fit into the neatly folded corners of work-life balance. It’s often tucked somewhere in between moments of extreme busyness and eerie calm, or can be found in the exhilaration of goals accomplished or the tugging call of transitions. Whatever it is, and wherever it may be found, it is infinitely more important than a carefully studied idea of balance.
It is high time that the concept of work-life balance not only be re-visited, but even most importantly, held against the light of modern reality for working women and moms. If its goal was to help make the latter’s lives and work easier, then it should never become a prison of expectation and performance.
Have you ever had to deal with a micro-aggression at work? Maybe it was a slight from a co-worker, or a snub from management after a well-done project. In some of the worst-case scenarios, you may have had to deal with harassment or even intimidation. Microagressions are verbal, behavioral, and environmental indignities communicating hostile, derogatory, or negative racial slights and insults to a target person or group. They occur in workplaces all around the world, and can be reinforced by company culture and tone at the top, thrus breeding toxic work cultures. They are also quite painful and complex to address and deal with…
According to a June 23-July 6, 2020 Gallup Panel survey, Black Americans constitute the largest racial group to experience and report micro-aggressions in the workplace. 9% even report having been insulted or called names, and 5% victimized through harassment and threats. Among working women, the 2018 Women in the Workplace report published by Leanin.org shows 64% of women deal with micro-aggressions as a reality at work. Black women are reported to face more varied micro-aggressions overall.While these issues disproportionately affect women, males are not exempt from these either.
Addressing micro-aggressions constructively requires going through a process of introspection, communication and decision, including: 1- Determining how much time and energy to devote to said micro-aggression. Responding to every incident can be draining and demoralizing, and even hurt our careers and well-being. Rather, discerning when and how to address micro- aggressions based on the relationships, feelings and perceptions involved can be way more effective.
2- If and when confronting it, preparing oneself and the other party to experience feelings of awkwardness and discomfort can make the communication more effective. Let’s remember that many incidences of micro-aggressions stem from ignorance, as well as lack of boundaries and appropriate education on the subject. This can make confronting the issue at hand not only necessary, but part of a larger educational process we should all engage in. However, it’s certainly an uncomfortable, awkward and even at times painful one. Mentally preparing to face the discomfort and awkwardness of such situations can ease the process.
3- Clarify the situation: Ensuring that all parties understand what’s at stake can help make the conversation and resolution more powerful and the positive effects more long-lasting too. There are many misunderstandings that can be involved in micro-aggressions, due to their subjective and personal nature. Clarifying the situation and understanding of it from all parties involved is a crucial step in addressing it constructively.
4- Last but not least, get some closure by deciding what impact this will have on your life and work. Often we carry the weight of micro-aggressions with us too long instead of addressing them and healing from them. As a result, this often invisible and crushing weight hinders our potential and capabilities, in addition to hurting our mental and emotional state. Deciding what impact we are willing to give micro-aggressions, and how to deal with getting the closure needed is absolutely indispensable. For some, it may mean engaging in service, healing through therapy, or looking for safer spaces and networks.
Overall, dealing with micro-aggressions at work is a process. By deciding how much time and energy to devote to these, mentally preparing for the awkwardness of confrontation, and striving to clarify the situation and get closure, we can not only heal but also constructively educate ourselves and others.
Let it be Friday! is our news roundup listing news related to working women and moms. If you would like to add other news and insights, please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com.
Kamala Harris’ op-ed in the Washington Post confirms the exodus of women away from the workforce is a national crisis;
At The Corporate Sister, we’re sharing 22 organizations to help Black moms during the pandemic;
Auntie Miche has a new kids’ cooking show on Netflix and we’re here for it;
Working Mother shares everything you need to know about the COVID-19 vaccine as a working mom;
Black Enterprise reports Sour Patch Kids’ partnership with Chris Paul and Thurgood Marshall College Fund to provide a sweet scholarship to HBCU students;
If you are a working mom during this pandemic, you certainly have been brutalized by this pandemic. From the lack of childcare to the exodus of women from the workforce, not to mention the astounding and growing imbalance of weight of household chores, the impact of this national crisis for women are mind-blowing. However, due to systemic inequalities affecting Black women, the latter have suffered compounded consequences of this motherhood pandemic within the larger pandemic we’re faced with. Black working moms are struggling at historical rates, and we cannot remain silent…
According to the April 2020 McKinsey “COVID-19: Investing in Black Lives and Livelihoods” report, African-Americans constitute especially vulnerable populations in the face of the pandemic. Black women in particular have to deal with an exacerbated dual burden both on the home and labor front, compounded with quarantine restrictions, school closures, childcare scarcity and household-related stress. This also increases the risks of domestic violence, as it is reported four in ten black women tend to suffer from domestic violence at the hands of an intimate partner, as compared to three in ten white women. Black women are also more prone to suffering from health issues and be affected by high maternal mortality rates, which has only been exacerbated by the pandemic.
While women occupy most of the occupations that have suffered the most from the pandemic, Black women held a disproportionate portion of these jobs. As a result, they also have experienced the most acute unemployment jumps and related gaps. Employment for Black women fell 18.2% for Black women, as compared to 16.7% for white women. In addition, Black and Latina women are most likely to either be the sole breadwinner in their families, or have their partners work outside of the home during the pandemic. Women have lost 1.28 jobs for every job loss by a male, and the recovery is not looking promising either with Black women returning to work 1.5 times slower than their white counterparts. While 71% of white women are reporting having enough income, only 52% of Black women are saying the same.
So how can we help?
Here are 22 organizations helping Black moms and families that can help:
Black Career Women’s Network: This leading national career development platform is dedicated to enhancing the professional growth of Black women;
National Coalition of 100 Black Women: Formed in 1981, this organization advocates for Black women in the areas of education, health and economic empowerment.
Black Women’s Health Imperative: Standing for health equality for all Black women and girls, this is the only national non-profit of its nature.
National Congress of Black Women: This non-profit institution invests in the educational, political and cultural growth of Black women and youth;
National Black Women’s Justice Institute: This organization’s mission is to reduce, through research and capacity building, racial and gender disparities in the U.S. criminal system.
National Council of Negro Women: Started in 1935 by Mary McLeod Bethune, this organization reached nearly 4 million Black women and has more than 30 affiliated Black women’s organizations.
The Black Women’s Agenda: This DC-based non-profit started in 1977 is committed to sharing and educating on social, economic and civil liberties affecting Black women.
National Association of Colored Women’s Club: This association of women of color is dedicated to uplifting women and families through their focus on community service, scholarship, and education.
Black Girls Code: This non-profit organization’s vision is to increase the number of women of color in Science, Technology, Engineering and Math (STEM).
The Loveland Foundation: This foundation provides therapy and other mental health resources For Black girls and women, and is headed by founded Rachel Cargle.
Sister Love: Sister Love’s mission is to “eradicate the adverse impact of HIV, sexual and reproductive health rights, and justice challenges” facing women.
Black Mamas Matter: Black Mamas Matter is a movement to advance black maternal health.
The National Birth Equity Collective: Helping Black children reach their first birthday and reducing the alarming Black maternal mortality rates is the goal of this organization.
Black Women’s Roundtable: This organization works to purse public policies to benefit Black women in areas related to health and wellness, education, economic security and empowerment.
Black Women’s Blueprint: This social justice organization provides access to resources for Black women to advocate against intersectionality issues.
Sista Midwife: Sista Midwife provides a directory of Black midwives and doulas, as research shows Black women using a Black midwife are at lower risk of C-section or preterm birth.
Black Women’s Wellness: Centered on empowering Black women through healing, empowerment and advocacy, this organization is based in Los Angeles.
Girl Trek: Girl Trek is a national health movement for Black women to change their lives through walking .
The Black Feminist Project: This project uses food and reproductive justice programming to empower Black women and girls.
The Black Youth Project 100: The Black Youth Project fights for freedom and justice for all, more specifically for Black women, girls, and the LGBTQ+ community.
National Black Child Development Institute: This institute works with Black children from birth to age 8 to offer them a brighter future through health and wellness education, literacy programs, and college readiness.
Black working moms are in crisis, and we ought to help. If you would like to add any organization or statistics to this list, please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com.
Authenticity has become quite the buzzword lately. So much revolves around being more authentic, showing up as your “real” self, being more “real”…All you have to do is pop open any social media platform, from Instagram to Facebook, to come face-to-face with some deep, or deeply funny, quote or meme about being more authentic and less “fake”…Needless to say, if you struggle with uncertainty or doubts about your authentic self, this is bound to make you slightly uncomfortable. Even worse, if you happen to be a Black working woman dealing with the double-bind of authenticity in and outside of the workplace, it’s bound to make you stir in place, and possibly tighten your chest a bit. Being “real” is all good and well most of the time, but can you really be “real” at work as a Black professional woman?
I distinctively remember my very first week at my very first “real” job, as a freshly minted new graduate with fresh new credentials, new shoes and a new Ann Taylor blouse (I couldn’t afford the whole suit just yet). While all the new freshly minted recruits introduced themselves, sharing personal stories about their families, dogs and where they were from, I was racking my brain trying to figure out what I would and would not share. I was one of a few Black women in the room. I was born in a beautiful place that happened to be across the Atlantic Ocean. And my name not exactly Jane or John. I was different. And I didn’t know whether I could really be real at work…
If you’re reading this and nodding your head because you went through a similar experience, then you know how challenging being authentic in the workplace can be. Despite it being touted as the ultimate thing to be, it doesn’t come easy for many minorities, especially for Black women at work.
According to the 2020 Mc Kinsey Women in the Workplace report, women of color, especially Black women, have been consistently underrepresented in senior management for the sixth year in a row for reasons other than attrition alone. They also face more challenges as they make their way up the corporate ladder, lagging behind for reasons such as lack of support and access to senior leadership, as well as other factors. After Xerox’s ex-CEO Ursula Burns’ exit, Rosalind Brewer is now the only Black woman currently heading a Fortune 500 company in the United States, after taking on the position of Chief Executive Officer (CEO) at Walgreens Boots Alliance (WBA) on March 15, 2021. Even still, Brewer is only the third Black woman to serve as CEO of a Fortune 500 company.
Authentic leadership theory argues when organizational leaders are aware of and act upon their true beliefs, values and strengths, while helping others do the same, they also contribute to higher well-being levels and increased employee performance. While authenticity is hailed as a significant business advantage, contributing to employee well-beingthrough increased job satisfaction, decreased work stress, and stress symptoms, and spurring innovation and creativity,its benefits still largely elude Black women at work. As a matter of fact, sociological research demonstrates tensions between what authenticity truly means in terms of the true self, and social constructions of black authenticity, leading to a “hybridized black authenticity”. As such, Black women are faced with having to juggle multiple ideals of authenticity, struggling with combining “raceless’ and race-specific expectations. Quite the juggle, if you ask me…
So can you really be real at work as a Black woman? It’s a loaded question, and one that begs further exploration at both the personal and organizational level. Above all, what is crucial here is to understand that authenticity for Black women at work is not just a matter of showing up as you are, or even bringing your whole self to work. It’s a matter of walking the tightrope of a hybrid concept and understanding of authenticity that requires us to constantly toggle between what it means to be oneself, and what it means to be a Black woman. Or at least what society has constructed in both scenarios…
Can you really be real as a Black woman at work? Let us know your insights and share your stories in the comments or by emailing us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com!
