As we emerge out of a global pandemic, more and more working women and moms are questioning the existence, purpose and legitimacy of their careers. Under the pressure created by this generalized health crisis, the lack of adequate childcare and the unequal gender division of labor at home, to cite a few of these obstacles, women are leaving their careers in troves. While many are re-inventing themselves through business and entrepreneurship, others are left disoriented and in search of purpose in their lives and work.
It’s in the midst of this global health crisis and a general sentiment of exhaustion and burnout among working women and moms, that more and more conversations are emerging about re-imagining what our ideal careers look like. Gone are the days of subscribing to the traditional, patriarchal view of careers governed by glass ceilings, concrete walls and painfully lacking diversity. Working women and moms are now seeing past the illusion of traditional representations of success, and instead opting to re-define their own ideals of purpose, fulfillment and balance.
Where the cult of the hustle culture was prevailing not too long ago, we’re now seeing the rise of movements like slow living, or the Nap Ministry, which are advocating for more present, healthier and less pressure-ridden lifestyles. This includes a more holistic and saner way to thrive, and not just barely survive, in our careers, as more employees are choosing, even requesting to continue working from home and companies are feeling the strain of un-motivated and burnt-out workers.
What all this is pointing to, especially for us as working women and moms, is the urgency of re-imagining the way we work and live. It’s a loud call, if there ever were any, to be active agents in the future of the world of work. And as we collaboratively craft our ideal careers, here are three tips that may help us get started in this endeavor:
Re-packaging and re-purposing our skills
As working women and moms especially, we never quite start from scratch, but always from experience. The breadth and wealth of life experience brought on by working women and moms, also translates into an abundance of personal and professional skills that can be re-packaged and re-purposed into powerful careers.
It’s not a hazard, for instance, that so many working women and moms are re-converting into entrepreneurship, where their managerial abilities, natural empathy and compassion, are allowing them to start and nurture successful businesses.
Tie in your passions, interests and dreams
Passion is fuel. However, in the pursuit of a traditional depiction of success, we often end up pursuing someone else’s goals for us, whether it’s a loved one’s, a boss’s, or even just someone we admire and wish to emulate. Yet, the real question is: What are our true interests, dreams and passions? Not just other people’s, not just what’s popular on social media, not just what others envision for us, but what we have the ability to see in the eye of our minds and the depths of our hearts…
How can we use our skills, whether formal or informal, innate or learned, at the service of the dreams, passions and interests we’ve always had? Ultimately, these point us towards our purpose, however it may manifest in different seasons of our lives and work.
Building a career that works for us
Last but not least, building a career that works for us, rather than one we desperately chase after and constantly work for, is the goal here. We tried the hamster wheel of modern success, exhausted ourselves on the never-ending corporate climb towards an unbreakable glass ceiling, ran towards an ever harder concrete wall, all in the midst of a pandemic, in between school and daycare closures, unending Zoom calls and piling dishes… And we’re tired…
We want careers that work for us, as working women and moms. Careers that don’t require us to shut off any part of ourselves, or restrict the authentic fullness of who we are. Careers that don’t require us to choose between motherhood, marriage and a well-paying job. Careers that don’t force us to leave our sanity, health and authenticity at the door, to prove we’re worthy of sitting at the table. Because we are, we always were…
At the end of the day, crafting our ideal careers is not about settling for the lesser of the evils we may encounter on our professional and personal journeys. Neither is it about picking the safest options for ourselves and our families. What it really is about, is understanding and owning the magnificent extent of the power and influence we hold as working women and mothers, to use our skills, talents and abilities to build a better world of work.
This episode is part of our “Black Women at Work” series in honor of Black History Month.
In this episode, I’m exploring how we, as working women and moms, can navigate and combat racial trauma in the workplace.
Listen in!
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Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
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Dear Working Mom is our periodic love letter to working moms everywhere, where we deal with and unpack the challenges facing mothers and offer encouragement and support…
Dear Working Mom,
Are you doing too much?
If you’re reading this, you may feel a twinge of anger as you wonder if you really have a choice to do less. Wouldn’t you take the opportunity to lessen your burden if you could? Maybe, but then again, maybe not…
In this modern era, almost post-pandemic era of the “supermom”, the mother who can defiantly do it all, is it possible that working mothers have taken on too much, willingly or not? Is it possible that after all, mothers have resigned themselves to carry an excessive burden that was always too heavy for them? And most importantly, is it still possible to put some of this burden down?
If you could only open your to-do list, and look at it with fresher eyes, with eyes outside of the harsh, demanding, and ultra-competitive reality you’re accustomed to, maybe you could see that not everything on it is truly needed. If you could take the exhaustion you feel in your body and soul, the hint of resentment and anger you experience all too often, as serious signs of imbalance and excess, you could see that what you’ve come to consider as your normal pace is actually burning you out. If you could understand that what the world considers to be a superwoman, a “successful” working mom, is a grossly ridiculous modern exaggeration of women’s and mothers’ roles, then you may be inclined to consider that maybe, only maybe, you are doing way too much…
In between all the ultra-positive messages of female independence and #girlpower, the hyper-visibility of women’s accomplishments, and the transformation of motherhood into a competitive social media-fueled performance, it’s no wonder too many working moms are overwhelmed. It’s also no wonder you feel the all too heavy pressure to do it all at the same time, from breaking the glass ceiling, raising model children, keeping up a spicy partnership, to maintaining the perfect girl squad too…Even as you’re advocating for increased gender equity, adding more action items to your already packed to-do list, you’re carrying burdens that never belonged to you entirely. All the while, you’re signing up for more kids’ activities, volunteering for additional benevolent activities, and trying to keep up with a smile on your face and a paralyzing fear of failing in your heart…
While you certainly have a lot on the various plates you’re juggling, you’re still adding on more, for fear of saying no, disappointing your loved ones, or just not being up to par. The reality is, as much as you have to do, what you don’t have to do is slip into the dangerous trap of excess, whether it’s excessive commitments, demands or challenges…
It may be time to pause and listen to your body, soul and mind, as they first whisper, then start loudly yelling, warning you of impending crisis. These warnings are not a sign of weakness or calls to increase your stamina, as you compare yourself to other working mothers who seem to do it all at all times, in the most flattering Instagram filters too. Instead, they’re nudges to ask yourself: “Am I doing too much?”
Is that extra project absolutely necessary? Are the extra kids’ activities a must? Are the extra volunteering activities on three boards, two parent-teacher associations, plus the neighborhood council indispensable? Is taking on all the grand family holiday celebrations a must?
Are you doing too much? And if so, it’s ok to release all the extra, focus on what truly matters, and breathe again, even if imperfectly so…
This episode is part of our “Black Women at Work” series in honor of Black History Month.
Today, we’re discussing the 7 most common struggles faced by Black women in the workplace. From lack of representation to lack of access to higher levels of management, there are many hurdles in their path. However, shedding light on these allows us to be more educated about these, and also to heal and bring effective solutions and strategies to these issues.
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
In academics as well as the professional sphere, Black women have been conditioned to operate in excellence for the longest time. There is a badge of honor that comes with always showing up in your optimal capacity, especially if and when you’re the “only” Black woman in the room, the department, at this or that level, or in the company as a whole. The traditional saying according to which Black women have to work twice as hard to achieve the same, or lesser results, than their counterparts, has and still is, holding true for many Black women in the workplace…
However, with the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic and the racial reckoning that has accompanied it, it is a reality that is increasingly starting to fade out. As the glaring gender, race and class inequalities are rearing their ugly heads, inflamed by the repercussions of a global health crisis shaking the very foundations of our society, women in general, and Black women in particular are questioning the legitimacy and necessity of a narrative aimed at glorifying an ideal of excellence rarely rewarded in kind by the advancement, growth and progress it was always supposed to create.
Excellence, for the sake of it, is certainly a noble pursuit to aspire to. For many, Black Excellence has served as a tool of empowerment. However, unrecognized, demeaned and even questioned excellence drastically diminishes its intended impact and effects. The point of making it into once restricted rooms, once secret conversations, and into once segregated systems, is to birth opportunities for change, growth and progress. When these opportunities are stifled and compressed, status quo not only remains, it grows stronger by the sheer compounding effect of the unrecognized effort and the barriers in place. All in all, it becomes an even harsh reminder of the barriers still standing in the way of gender and race equity for all.
? How can this be when Black women are graduating at higher rates than their male counterparts, and entering the workforce in larger numbers? How can Black excellence result in such dismal representation at lower and higher levels of management alike?
These are just some of the questions at the tip of the Black Excellence iceberg that is prompting many a Black woman to divest from it, and even begin to embrace mediocrity, which for many Black women has long been associated with lack of opportunity. What was hailed as a protection against unfairness and bias, is increasingly being experienced and seen as too costly a badge of honor to carry. One that may unwittingly reduce the lives of those who strive for it, to exceptionalism that may not be necessarily fulfilling, rather than true meaning, purpose, and even sanity.
More and more, the question is being raised as to whether or not measuring Black women’s worth through what is traditionally being defined as “exceptionalism” is still valid? Is being a CEO or high-tech executive in a non-diverse environment the real definition of exceptional success, or one that needs to be re-visited to expand more inclusive definitions of what success may look like across gender and race spaces? Maybe true excellence is about fulfilling a career and life of meaning on our own terms, inclusive of our different identities and aspirations, making it a welcoming space of growth rather than an enclosed trap of traditional expectations…
