In this episode of the podcast, in honor of Mental Health Awareness, I’m chatting about the negative mental health effects of gender inequality. Research shows these mental health effects disproportionately impact working women and moms.
I also share tips to cope with these negative effects, and continue to expand the conversation as working women and moms.
The impact of gender discrimination on a Woman’s Mental Health:https://www.thelancet.com/journals/eclinm/article/PIIS2589-5370(20)30055-9/fulltext
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In episode 34 of the podcast, I’m starting a series on “leading like women”. Here, I’m chatting about what characterizes women’s leadership, and how to embrace it to lead authentically and powerfully.
This podcast refers to research from the Business Journal from the Wharton school of the University of Pennsylvania: “The Masculine and Feminine Sides of Leadership and Culture: Perceptions vs Reality”.
If you have any insights as to this episode, please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com.
Thanks for Listening!
Thanks so much for tuning in and listening to this week’s episode! If you enjoyed this week’s episode, please share it by using the social media at the bottom of this post!
Also, leave me a review for the TCS podcast on Apple Podcasts !
During a workshop I had the pleasure of leading on working with purpose, most of the women in the group listed the same or similar strengths. Among these, were innovation, creativity, effective crisis management, to cite just a few. As we looked at each other, we not only realized we bring similar assets to the workplace, but that these assets are also some of the most, if not the most, important in businesses and organizations today. Yet, what we also realized, is that many, if not most of us, do not value these assets as much as we should. Instead, we tend to place much more emphasis on traditionally masculine leadership qualities such as assertiveness, competitiveness, or ego-driven dominance, for instance.
Research and experience both show there are definitely more “masculine” and “feminine” styles of leadership. These are as much fueled by employees’ perceptions, as they are by the reality of the individual leadership styles of men and women in the workplace. While most of the differences in leadership between men and women are attributed to the social construct of gender, many are also due to how we perceive how men and women lead. While male leaders tend to be associated with strength, arrogance, intelligence, and power, to cite a few qualifiers, women leaders tend to be associated with multi-tasking, empathetic, compassionate and collaborative.
At the end of the day, it’s really about what we think about leadership rather than what leadership can truly accomplish. As a matter of fact, role congruity, or the expectation that people will act according to their gender, changes how leaders are perceived regardless of how effective they are. As a result, women tend to be considered less effective as leaders, and
tend to be more influenced into adopting more of a masculine style of leadership, which is not effective either as not aligned with their natural skills and talents…
So how are women leaders affected by gender-based perceptions of leadership to lead effectively? The answer, or least one of the answers, lies in self-awareness. Women leaders need to cultivate a stronger and deeper awareness of their style of leadership, in conjunction with the culture of their organization. This also means assessing their strengths, opportunities for improvement, opportunities and potential threats, akin to an individual SWOT analysis. However, the fit between women leaders and their organization’s culture is an important factor to consider. As self-aware as women leaders can be, without a proper fit with their organization’s culture, their effectiveness is limited.
Organizational fit can be measured by the alignment of the mission and values of the company, with that of its leaders and employees. Values such as integrity, corporate citizenship, and diversity and inclusion for instance, tend to foster more gender-inclusive styles of leadership. According to Stanford University’s research, organizational culture is measured against two dimensions, including values, as well as how these values are distributed throughout the organization, also known as value crystallization.
For women leaders, at the end of the day, this represents a precious, albeit still underestimated, opportunity to lead as themselves. To lead with increased self-awareness, according to their values, and with a better cultural fit. In other words, to lead like women…
Do you get overwhelmed when you have a lot to do in a short amount of time?
Do you feel the need to take breaks during busy days to get some relief?
As a child, were you perceived as “shy”, sensitive or introverted by your famiy and friends?
If you’re reading the above questions and nodding your head, you may very well be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). And you, like so many of us, may know it comes with a lot of beautiful rewards, but also some undeniable challenges…
In a Western culture built on external assertiveness, reward-those-who-speak-the-loudest kind of attitude, being sensitive or hyper-sensitive is often considered a weakness. In other cultures, such as in Japanese, Swedish and Chinese cultures for instance, sensitivity is highly valued. In the workplace in particular, and depending on the type of industry and business you may be in, it may even be construed as a serious hindrance. You may be asked to speak up more, or be more assertive, or judged as being anti-social or not sociable at all. Much of this is because very little is known about highly sensitive (HSP) people, and what is known tends to be mostly inaccurate…
According to acclaimed HSP research pioneer Elaine Aron, the HSP trait (yes, it’s an actual trait, NOT a disorder) is innate and occurs in 15 to 20% of people. HSP individuals’ brains tend to process information in a deeper manner, but also tend to get overstimulated in the face of chaos or intensity. Due to their natural caution and reflective attitude, HSPs are often falsely labeled as “shy”. This is actually inaccurate as unlike shyness, which is a learned trait, high sensitivity is an inborn trait. HSP individuals are also not introverted or inhibited, as can be commonly misconceived. As a matter of fact, 30% of HSPs tend to be extroverted. Due to gender socialization and conditioning, women HSPs can appear to display the trait more so than their male counterparts.
What does this mean in a work setting, especially for women HSPs?
While certain work settings such as loud meetings or stressful feedback settings can be overstimulating for HSPs, the latter tend to actually have qualities that make them assets to any organization. These qualities include exceptional visionary abilities, creativity, innovation, compassion, conscientiousness, loyalty, to cite a few. However, and unfortunately so, many, if not most organizations, undervalue and sorely miss out on these qualities by continuing to be culturally-biased against sensitivity. Assertiveness, boldness and rapidity of thought and action, which can lead to errors in judgment and performance, tend to be overly favored over empathy, depth of processing, and creativity, as well as innovation, all prerequisites of success in today’s more conceptual era. As a result, HSP employees are often falsely perceived as weak, slow, even “deficient”, and generally shamed. These types of negative treatments are often inflicted by managers with poor emotional intelligence, low self-worth, and lacking interpersonal skills, thus engendering toxic environments, cultural prejudice and bias.
If you are an HSP, you may have endured these types of situations, and hopefully have healed or are healing from these. The good news is, far from being a liability, your hyper-sensitivity is actually a precious asset to leverage in the workplace as well as in life. Here are some of the ways you can maximize the power of being hyper-sensitive in the workplace:
Focus on being self-aware
HSPs have an uncanny ability for self-reflection and self-awareness, both of which reinforce optimal performance and adaptability in the workplace. This is especially relevant after the COVID-19 pandemic, as adaptability is quickly becoming indispensable at work.
Use your critical thinking abilities
Research has shown that with sensitivity, comes the ability to process large amounts of information in deep and complex ways. This is an important advantage when it comes to strategizing, collaborating, organizing, and managing information in general.
Foster a team spirit
HSPs tend to show remarkable empathy and understanding of others’ behavior, due to active mirror neurons that literally help mirror others’ emotions and mental states. This is particularly helpful in a team context where emotional needs may impact morale, productivity and outcomes.
Keep your eye out for innovation!
Attention to detail and subtlety make HSPs particularly apt at highlighting opportunities for improvement and innovation, allowing organizations to improve, while generating additional revenue and saving money and resources.
Use your intuition!
HSPs have strong synthesizing minds and are able to identify patterns based on the amount of data they collect and process, thus leading to higher levels of intuition. This in turn plays a crucial role in making optimal decisions at the individual, team and organizational level.
Your thoroughness is one of your competitive advantages
Dedication, commitment and thoroughness are the hallmarks of HSPs. The latter are known for displaying exceptional professionalism and excellence in and outside of work.
But don’t lose sight of the purpose behind it all
HSPs tend to focus more on the big picture, drawing the “why” behind everything. As such, their leadership helps unearth the purpose, meaning and fulfillment needed to motivate others, while keeping organizations solid in the face of change and uncertainty.
Your integrity is key!
As they value equity, fairness and justice, HSPs tend to provide the support and foundation to create positive change and make a difference in any environment. Their word and commitment can also be counted upon and trusted, in and outside of the workplace.
Keep learning and growing
HSPs are renowned for their appetite for learning and growth. They are often the ones enrolling in continuing education, and always looking to acquire more skills and knowledge throughout their careers. As such, they’re assets to businesses and organizations, especially as change and uncertainty require increased and evolving skills.
Overall, being hyper-sensitive in the workplace, while potentially being an under-valued and even misconstrued quality in many workplaces, is undeniably a powerful asset. As such, it’s important for organizations, teams and individuals to understand and leverage the qualities that come with sensitivity.
Are you an HSP and have you worked with an HSP before?
I know most days you have too much on your plate to think about your mental health! As you furiously work through your to-do list, lugging the kids from one appointment to the other, often not getting enough sleep as you make up for work and household chores when everyone is already in bed, you may not even consider how your hectic lifestyle is impacting your mental health.
In many instances, you may not even suspect the constant feeling of overwhelm, along with the clutter in your minds and unexplained irritability, is hiding the shadow of maternal depression…Even when you do suspect it, you often dare not admit it, because, well, who talks about the ugly secret of depression, let alone maternal depression? Isn’t motherhood supposed to just be the wonderful stuff of “perfect” social media Christmas photos? And when you appear to “have it all”, the cute family and the great career, how could you dare complain? Even if the pandemic did a number on you and your sanity. Even if working mothers are leaving the workforce in droves and suffering the most from mental health issues. Even if 68% of working mothers have sought therapy, as opposed to 47% of women without children, due to lack of childcare, the impact of COVID, and general economic instability.
Additionally, as a working mom, your mental health does not only affect you. It also deeply affects your children, as well as the environments you live and work in. As a matter of fact, research shows maternal depression harms children’s mental health more than poverty.
Maternal depression is real, and despite its stigma, does not have to be an ugly secret. It doesn’t have to be a secret at all. As a matter of fact, it’s a well-known fact the COVID-19 pandemic has tripled depression and anxiety symptoms in new moms. From catching up on work at night and on weekends, to being flat-out burnt out, having trouble sleeping, needing more support, moms everywhere have been struggling, in one way or another.
So dear working mom, it’s ok to not be ok. And you’re far from being alone if you’re experiencing it right now, or have ever experienced it. The only secret around maternal depression is the one society desperately attempts to keep in order to fuel a stigma that needs to disappear. Here a few ways that can help you cope, and support other working moms as well:
Acknowledge where you struggle mentally
Let me say this again, it’s ok not to be ok. Normal people are not constantly happy. Life happens, and it can be hard and bring you to your knees. There is no reward for overworked, exhausted, over-committed mom of the year, but there is a heavy mental health cost to pay.
So learn to recognize the signs of anxiety and depression, from poor sleep, to an over-cluttered mind, to nutrition issues, to cite a few. Check in with yourself as often as you can, your body always tells you when something is not quite right.
Seek support
Mental health struggles are not weaknesses. Neither is reaching out to get some help and support. Everyone experiences, to varying degrees and instances, struggles with their mental health. Seeking support could be reaching out to a trusted friend or family member, or seeking professional support in the form of therapy.
Whichever way you choose to seek support, remember asking for help is a sign of strength and bravery. By seeking the help you need, you are also giving others permission to do so, while getting the tools that you can then use to help others.
Make self-care a priority
I know your schedule is already overflowing, however, making your self-care a priority is far from being an indulgence. It’s a necessity to care for yourself in order to be able to remain present, be all of who you are, and be there for others as well. Your children deserve a fulfilled, healthy mom, and that may just be the greatest gift you could give them and yourself.
