In this episode, I’m discussing steering away from the hustle in our careers as working women and moms, and instead towards more alignment in the work we do and by extension in the lives we live.
In the episode, I also discuss how this requires us to be self-aware and being willing to show as who we are.
Listen in!
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Have you ever hit a wall in your career where you were just too exhausted to keep going?
Have you ever wondered how to create more hours in the day to get all your work done?
Have you tried many different ways to get more done and have come up with abysmal results?
I remember staring at my to-do list, and feeling a sense of mixed dread and anticipated disappointment at the thought of not even being able to get through the first half of it. As the archetypal overachiever, of course I wanted to do it all, and… of course, I’d come up short every time! As the accountant I was trained to be, my math was definitely not working…Too much to do, too few hours in the day…
Talking to fellow working women and moms, I quickly realized I was far from being the only one in this predicament. Combining motherhood, household duties, work, social relationships, and everything in between, has been mission impossible for most women for the longest time. Despite the many attempts at increasing gender equity in and outside of the household, as well as in the workplace, the reality is change, real change, is going to take some time…In the meantime, most of us still don’t have a choice in the matter. We’ve got to do what we’ve got to do, which means creating and implementing solutions to the problems we face day in and day out, including facing our to-do list every day…
This is nothing new…Women have for the longest time pondered the question, as to how to do more with less. More with less time. More with less money. More with less resources. And they certainly have managed to do so, often at their own purpose’s, sanity’s and fulfillment’s expense.
However, for me, as for most working women and moms, the COVID-19 pandemic marked a turning point. All around the world, working women and mothers hit a wall, as their already meager resources and insufficient time were drastically depleted to make up for a dire lack of parental, economic, political and social support. And again, as always, women turned a disastrous situation into opportunities for change, rethinking the way they work, mother, lead and care for themselves and others into a not-so-quiet feminine revolution of our modern times…
Part of this revolution has been around re-conceptualizing what work means to us, and how we can better do it for the good of all. In the advent of remote work and digital nomadism, many women are reinventing the meaning and context of work. At the heart of this re-invention, is the vibrant heart cry to reclaim women’s time, so precious a commodity that’s been taken for granted, interrupted, used and mis-used with too little care and too much abuse.
As I’ve been reflecting on this in my own work, I have resorted back to my business training to find solutions to this age-old, yet currently so urgent problem. After staring at death in the face for over two years of pandemic, doing the impossible as mothers, wives and women in general, how can we manage to create the systems and processes that will help us work less, yet achieve more in our careers, and by extension in our lives? When I say “working less”, I’m certainly not appealing to the lazy, comfort-seeking side in all of us, but rather to the self-preserving, wiser side that cautions us against expanding too much of our precious resources without regard for ourselves, others and our future.
To me, it means starting to look at our careers as businesses, and ourselves as entrepreneurs in our work. Most importantly, it means looking at our time as our most precious commodity, and always keeping in mind ways to spend it in the most impactful manner. Here are a few ways to do this:
The Impact Principle: Make a mental shift from doing to impacting
One of the first changes I’ve had to do was to consider how I was thinking about work. Rather than seeing it as a series of to-do’s, work became about impact. Who could I impact the most through my work? How could my work, even in the most mundane of its aspects, impact my department, division, company? Most importantly, how could it impact my purpose, my sense of fulfillment, my growth and evolution?
Shifting from a to-do perspective, to an impact perspective, helped me regain a sense of purpose and engagement in my work. I was no longer just there to do a job, I was there to make an impact. This thinking expanded to how I tackled my daily, weekly, monthly, and even yearly planning. I switched from pretty planners to intentional ones, which allow me to think in terms of impact and structure my to-do list accordingly.
The System Principle : Create and document your own system
It took me a long time to learn the power of having your own work system. Like many other working women, I wanted to do it all, perfectly, all the time. Except I did not have a system of my own…
Each one of us has our own way of processing and managing our work. As women, we process information and approach tasks in a different manner than our male counterparts. As such, having a system of our own allows us to apply our own, optimal way of working to our career, while setting up and improving over time a process that is uniquely ours.
I’m a writer, teacher and researcher, who works best in outlines and themes. This is also how I structure my system and processes, from my career to my family and home life. What is your system?
The Repurposing Principle : Harnessing the power of templates
There is nothing new under the sun. Pretty much everything is an iteration or improvement from a prior version. Hence, the power of repurposing. I went from trying to do everything from scratch, to purposely finding or creating templates. This also meant spending more time upfront setting up and updating these templates, from emails to meeting agendas and calendars.
As an educator, I use and re-use templates, which also allows me to improve them over time, saving me significant time and effort in the process so I can focus on more impactful tasks. I also bring this approach to my family and home life with planning, calendar and other administrative templates.
Thinking in terms of impact, leveraging the power of systems, and repurposing through templates, have helped me achieve more in less time and with less resources, from going back to school as a working mom to making a career change a few years back . Most importantly, it’s helped me put my own stamp on the work I do, while being more intentional about the impact and the purpose I desire to achieve.
Can you change your mindset from doing to impacting?
Can you create your own system?
Lastly, how can you repurpose all the hard work you already do through templates?
If you’ve ever felt trapped by motherhood, somewhere between unloading the umpteenth load of laundry and answering the last email of the day on the kitchen table, you may have also felt like you should have never felt that way. You may have experienced such strong sense of guilt at the very thought of it that you may instead have sought to bury it in the deepest recesses of your mind, and never let anyone know you ever had this thought. After all, we live in a society where motherhood is revered, celebrated and embellished in all ways possible. All you have to do is click on your social media app to encounter loads of filtered, blissfully happy working family photos in picturesque backgrounds of all sorts…Yet, like many working moms at one point or another of their parenting journey, feeling stuck in a circumstantial prison of some sorts is common and nothing to be ashamed of…
In a society still reeling from the deep wounds of the COVID-19 pandemic, along with an ongoing political, economic and social latent crisis, working moms are at an all time high disadvantage. From dealing with the compounding weight of childcare, eldercare and household responsibilities, to facing the heavy toll of disproportionately lagging gender equity in the workplace, not to mention the increasingly restrictive laws against women, many, if not most working mothers are at a loss.
When there are no viable alternatives between home and work, feeling trapped is the inevitable result for too many working moms. Often, this presents itself as seemingly impossible dilemmas requiring us to make drastic, difficult choices between work and family, and even give up on our own fulfillment and purpose in a sacrificial manner.
So what can we do as working mothers to disentangle ourselves from these types of dilemmas? The answer is by creating more freedom in your motherhood process. Wherever you are in your mothering process, you don’t have to feel stuck, even if and when external circumstances tell you the very opposite.
Here are some tips that may help:
Start with your mindset
If you’ve been feeling “stuck” as a working mom, chances are your mindset has something to do with it. Thoughts such as “I don’t have a choice”, or “I’m a mother, so I can’t do this or that”, are the same thoughts that may keep you in a vicious cycle of disempowerment and self-victimization.
Changing the way you think of your circumstances can go a long way towards not only changing your attitude, but creating better opportunities. Replacing old, negative thought patterns with new ones by seeing opportunity instead of lack is key. Where you may think you have no choice but to leave your current role in order to care for your children, there may be an opportunity to start that online business you’ve been thinking about. Where you may feel like you can’t afford to apply for a more advanced position at work, there may very well be a chance to ask for a schedule more suited to your needs. Opportunity is everywhere!
Be clear about your brand of motherhood
Very often, we feel trapped because we’re applying someone else’s rules or version of what should be to our own lives and careers. Taking the time to gain clarity around who we are in every season of our work and life, helps us reframe our own brand of motherhood.
When we own who we are as working moms, we’re better able to navigate our circumstances in a more forward-looking and positive manner. What this also allows us to do is to adapt our choice of careers, businesses and schedules, to our own optimal brand of motherhood.
Streamline and prioritize!
Changing your mindset and gaining clarity about your own brand of motherhood allows you, in turn, to streamline and prioritize. This means eliminating what does no longer align with who we are and the kind of mothers we truly want to be.
When we’re not filling our minds, emotions and calendars with false beliefs, expectations and commitments that are not in alignment with our true selves, we’re better able to streamline our schedules, careers and lives by eliminating what no longer fits. We’re also able to prioritize what truly matters, thus creating more space and freedom as working moms.
All in all, feeling trapped by motherhood as a working mom is far from being uncommon. It is a reality so many working mothers face day in and day out. However, it doesn’t have to be a permanent situation, and can be alleviated by changing our mindsets, being clear about our own brand of motherhood, and streamlining our schedules, work and lives.
Whether you’re working in the office or from home, the feeling of being trapped in your career is one you may be all too familiar with. It’s this sense of not having agency over the very work you do, or even worse, how you spend your time at work. Even worse, it can be this insidious feeling of having no control over your time at all. As a working woman and/or mom, it can all feel all the more oppressive as your time is also overtaken by parenting, household and other duties and commitments.
This sense of lack of freedom was even more pronounced for working women and moms during the COVID-19 pandemic. In the aftermath of this global healthcare, economic and political crisis, so many working women and moms saddled with remote work in addition to childcare and household chores, have been looking for more freedom in their work and lives. As a result, over a million working women have had to resign from their jobs, many due to lack of available childcare. As we emerge from this crisis, many are asking the question: “How can I be freer in my work and life?”
For the longest time, women have been assigned much, if not most of the responsibilities around childcare, eldercare and the household. As women have started to fill up the professional ranks in larger numbers, they’ve still had to fulfill childcare and household-related roles on the home front. Where their male counterparts had the freedom to focus on their careers and outside pursuits, women have had to contend with almost insurmountable obstacles and inhuman demands on their time. Now more than ever, working women and moms are reclaiming their own time, a commodity that has for far too long been taken for granted by societies and institutions alike.
How can you regain more freedom in your career then, when you’re already struggling with owning your time as it is? Here are some tips that may help:
Change your mindset
Time is your most precious commodity. However, as a working woman and/or mom, you may have been taught to sacrifice your time instead of owning it. As little girls, you may have been told to be pleasant, giving up your time and energy to care for, satisfy, and fulfill the needs of our families, partners, friends, associates, etc….As an adult, you may have struggled with reclaiming your time, especially as the added responsibilities of marriage, parenting, family and even friendships, and accepted this as a way of life.
This is where changing your mindset about truly owning your time can make a world of difference. Replacing toxic thoughts and beliefs around not having a right to your own time, with healing principles such as: “I have a right to use my time in ways that are healthy to me”, for instance, can rewire your thinking in more positive ways.
Tie your work to your purpose
Creating more freedom in your career also means reframing the “why” behind the work you do. In this sense, tying your career to your purpose in every season can be particularly powerful. For instance, if your purpose is to help businesses obtain secure loans as a banking officer, then your career in banking may give you an added sense of fulfillment and direction.
Who are you helping in your career? How can you tie it to your purpose in this season? The more of a sense of purpose you get through your work, the more fulfillment you get, and the less you tend to feel trapped and lacking freedom.
Lessen the impact of money
Too often, we feel tied to a particular job because of the paycheck. As bills pile up, we think there is just no other option for us to meet our financial obligations. You may have been, or may be, in this very predicament, and may feel trapped in your current career or business.
The more you can lessen the negative impact of money, the more you can create more freedom in your work and life. What if money were no object, or were less of an object? What if you didn’t have to work so many hours? How can you create more freedom by lessening the impact of money? This can be done by creating systems in your work, including delegating, eliminating, or re-purposing tasks. Generating multiple streams of income is also another way of lessening the impact of money and feeling freer in your career and life. Last but not least, making your money work for you, through mediums like investing for example, also goes a long way towards increased freedom at work and in life.
Overall, creating more freedom in your work and life is a matter of changing your mindset, tying your work to your purpose, and lessening the impact of money. The more you can apply these principles, the more freedom you can have in your work and life.
Ask a CPA is our periodic column addressing accounting and financial questions for working women and moms. Got an accounting or financial-related question? Please email us at corporate@thecorporatesister.com
Q: I often feel defeated and disempowered in my personal finances, as if I were trapped. How can I be more empowered and create more freedom in my finances?
A: Great question! And you’re definitely not the only one to wonder about creating more freedom in your finances. Increased financial freedom not only allows you more peace of mind, it also helps you have a better quality of life, and create a solid financial legacy for yourself and your family. Not having to worry about your finances, and instead working to build wealth can be a rewarding experience in and of itself. For working women and moms, many of whom are disadvantaged when it comes to wealth-building and financial freedom, this can also mean increased time, opportunities and better work-life balance.
Here are 3 tips that may help:
Have a vision for your finances
Having a vision for your finances is the first step to wiring your mindset towards having more ownership and freedom in your finances. What does your ideal financial situation look like? How much money would you like to see in your savings account? How would you restructure your expenses?
However, it’s not enough to just have a vision for your finances. Writing down your financial vision is a powerful way to solidify it into a concrete plan and turn it into reality. It can be as simple as journaling about it, creating a basic budget, and/or setting up milestones to reach.
Set up a system
Creating freedom in your finances also involves setting up an effective system allowing you to focus on your main financial goals. This is especially important for us as working women and moms carrying so many responsibilities and commitments.
An effective system can start as simply as reminders, a monthly budget, or a financial app. It can also take the form of automating your monthly expense payments, hiring a financial advisor, or and/or devising an elaborate financial strategy for yourself and loved ones.
Learn through the process
Last but not least, gaining more freedom in your finances largely comes from educating yourself. Learning about the many options at your disposal to make the best out of your money puts you at a distinct advantage. Whether you choose to take classes, read books or learn on social media, the goal is to be knowledgeable about the best options for you.
Using dedicated resources like Certified Public Accountants, or financial advisors can also further your education in a more direct way. Working with a financial professional can not only help you solidify your finances, but also help you grow through the process.
Overall, creating more freedom in your financial situation is far from being a luxury. In a world threatened by economic instability, having a vision for your finances, setting up an adequate system, and learning through the process are effective ways to be freer when it comes to your financial situation.
