When times get a little, or a lot tougher economically, we often start thinking about our finances first. As working women and mothers, many of whom are the primary breadwinner in charge of the finances of our house, or on the other end of the financial spectrum, suffer from not being involved enough in the household’s finances, knowing how to manage our finances and budget during challenging economic times is crucial. Not only does the welfare of our families depend on it, but our own ability to thrive and not just survive is also linked to how well we can maintain and grow ourselves financially.
As an immigrant coming to school in the United States, I had to learn very early on to budget in an effective and often even creative manner. Knowing how to stretch a dollar was a necessity as I grew up into adulthood. Growing up in a one-parent household in SenegaI, I watched my mother budget in an efficient way so as to keep food on the table, clothes on our backs and even private school tuition paid. That’s where the foundation of my financial knowledge started, and continued into my educational background as an accountant and Certified Public Accountant (CPA).
So how do you budget effectively when tough times happen? Here are a few principles I’ve learned and kept on using to adequately handle my finances during challenging economic times:
Don’t wait for tough times to budget for tough times
Budgeting for difficult economic times happens before the challenges even arise. This means getting in the constant and consistent habit of budgeting. One budgeting rule that I often follow is it 50/30/20 rule. According to this popular rule, we are to spend 50% of our income on essentials, 20% on savings including investments, and 30% on everything else. While there are variations of this rule depending on each individual’s situation, the main principle here is to develop a consistent habit of giving your money a place to go, and enforcing the discipline to save resources over time.
Categorize your money
I once heard from someone that money that doesn’t have a name is money unloved. In other words, if you don’t assign your money a qualifier and a job, you have more chances of losing it. In a culture where we’re so used to instant gratification, where we can purchase anything at the click of a button, it’s never been easier to lose track of your spending and hence your money. This is why it is so important to categorize your money as soon as it lands in your bank account.
I like to assign my money at home as soon as I receive it. By home, I mean specific accounts destined for given purposes. While some bank accounts are for general spending or savings purposes, others are for longer-term purposes, creating an investment or dream vacation fund, for instance. I have found the practice of assigning my money a home and labeling my accounts as specifically as possible, allows me to avoid over-spending while increasing savings, especially in tough economic times.
Shift your mindset.
Many of the challenges we face during tough economic times are not just related to money but also, and most importantly, to our money mindset. For many of us, managing our money during tough economic times turns out to be a painful exercise, because we haven’t made up our minds around our finances. Making a conscious decision to save money, or to reach a certain financial goal, is highly dependent upon our mindsets. The good thing about mindsets, thankfully, is they can be changed.
Throughout the many challenging economic periods of my life, I have taught myself to think about money not as a scarce, but an abundant resource. This has allowed me to feel less powerless in the face of rough economic times, and to keep working at bettering my money habits and mindset.
Another mindset shift that has been really important in my experience has been too learn to distinguish oh between my wants, needs and dreams. By order of impact, I have made it a habit to prioritize essential needs and dreams, and be especially vigilant around wants. Very often, our wants are punctual and not really reflective of what truly matters or has the longest-term impact. Compare wanting a $1,000 brand name purse to a lifelong dream of starting a business, taking a dream vacation, or retiring our spouse or parents early, for instance. Funding our dreams almost always ends up providing a greater return and satisfaction in the long run.
All in all, tough economic times are an excellent opportunity to train ourselves to manage our money more effectively. As a matter of fact, managing our money in difficult times should not be all that much different from managing our money at any time. The same principles apply, albeit with some level of variation, depending on our personal circumstances and environments. As such, learning to budget before tough times arise, assigning our money at home, and changing on money mindsets are the three most essential tools to effectively budget our money when crisis hits.
Now let me ask you, what are the tips and tools do you recommend to manage your money and budget effectively during top economic?
How many times have you wondered why there are not more hours in a day? How many times have you been so frazzled, stressed, and paralyzed at the thought that you don’t have enough time to do everything that’s on your plate? And how often do you find yourself at the end of the day dissatisfied, disappointed and disheartened at how little you accomplished during the day? If you have, and are nodding out reading this, you certainly are not alone. I know I have, and still do feel like this way more often than I would like to.
As a working woman, and especially after becoming a working mom, these questions have haunted me over and over again. And it’s certainly not for lack of resources around it…After reading countless articles and books on time management, I’ve realized many of those are not exactly built for us working women and mothers. Like much of the advice given out there, it’s mainly tailored for our male counterparts who do not have the same pressures and demands on their time as we do. This in turn has prompted me to consider the ways in which I could build a schedule that really works for me. I was tired of feeling like I couldn’t accomplish my goals and objectives. Like so many, I felt frustrated not being able to move forward, and experiencing a sense of failure as a result of it.
What dawned on me afterwards was that maybe the lack of time wasn’t the main issue. Maybe the issue after all, was a lack of alignment between the schedule I tried so desperately to make work and myself as an individual. Research shows making a plan and establishing SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound) goals increase the chances of accomplishing our objective. However, what I didn’t find much talked about in the research is how goals really tie in to who we are and not just what we do. Too often, we focus on the tasks on our to do list. We define ourselves by what we do and most importantly what we achieve and accomplish. At the end of the day, for many of us, we perceive, and so do others that it is what makes a successful. As a result, we often end up getting sucked into a tsunami of to-do’s, without clearly relating what we do to who we are. In turn, this creates goals and objectives that do not fit us as individuals, and as such are so much harder to reach, making us feel powerless and disempowered in the process.
This is especially relevant for us as working women and moms, as our nurturing nature often puts us in positions where we tend to consider others’ goals and objectives before our own. In addition, the pressure to conform to society’s expectations and demands often leads us to take on these expectations and demands as our own. Hence why so many of us find ourselves powerless in our careers, and by extension in our lives. The same goes for our schedules.
After years of fighting against the clock, and not feeling accomplished at the end of the day, I started asking myself if the goals and objectives I was pursuing were really the right ones. This prompted me to get more attuned to my inner voice and what brings me joy, what makes me feel fulfilled, what gives me a sense of accomplishment as opposed to what the world considers “accomplished”. And little by little, I started building my schedule around these. What I noticed as a result was not only an increase in productivity, but also in the sense of empowerment, joy and fulfillment as I started turning my schedule into something that was more reflective of myself.
As a result and after talking to many other working women and moms around me, I started building my schedule around three main principles:
The Dream time
Carving out time to pursue dream ambitions and life goals is essential to our happiness. As a working woman and mom, this was time that often eluded me. As a result, I often felt frustrated because I didn’t have time to write, and go towards the things that really brought joy to me and nurtured my soul. Whenever I try to create more of that time, it almost seemed like I was taking it away from my family, my social relationships and other commitments already lined up. A strong sense of guilt would ensue which would leave me even more depleted and dissatisfied. This is where I made a conscious decision to intentionally carve out what I call my “dream time”. For me, it meant waking up a bit earlier to have some me-time, and tackle personal and professional projects. Despite having to be more disciplined and organized, I could feel my enthusiasm, motivation and joy increase. Paradoxically, the more disciplined I became in intentionally building my “dream time”, the better I was with myself and others.
Carving out your dream time is going to require discipline, organization, and is definitely not easy. However the more you build the habit, the easier it becomes, and the more joy you’re bound to experience.
The Sacred Time
Building a schedule that reflects more of who I am is also making time for the non-negotiables in my life. Those are the sacred areas of life that we can’t reclaim back. For me, it’s time for faith, time for self, and time for family, friends and important relationships. Often, time spent at work or running around from commitment to duty to obligation can take us away from our “sacred time” time, resulting in disconnection, loss of relationships and even decreases in mental health.
What I learned from trial and error is to make sure my sacred time is always indeed treated as such. What this means is also striving to block my calendar, and build serious boundaries around my time. As a working woman and mom, I found that it allowed me to lessen the sense of guilt that I would get when working or engaging in other activities because I would know that I had respected my sacred time before hand. This also allowed me to build deeper, more intentional relationships with the people near and dear to me.
Carving out sacred time in an intentional and organized manner also requires much discipline, organization and boundaries. However, doing so can lead to much more satisfaction and much less guilt as working women and moms.
The Impactful Work time
As a working woman and mother whose time is certainly not infinite, doing work in an effective and impactful manner is crucial. Yet I was finding that many times, I was spending time on work that didn’t reap the desired results. It almost felt like wasting time, which ended up being costly in the long run because each hour wasted would have repercussions on my personal and private life, as well as on my sense of fulfillment and worth.
This is where I started paying attention to the concept of impactful work. It is the idea that one should focus on work that creates a true, long lasting and effective impact. Was the work I was doing really creating this type of impact, or was I just doing busywork much of the time? This was a tough question to ask myself, as it also forced me to put my work habits, discipline, and work ethics into a question. Yet this also provided the opportunity to really define what impactful work was for me, and how to best achieve it.
Defining impactful work for yourself as a working woman and mother, and as an individual in general, will help you streamline the many tasks and to-do’s on your list. It will help you focus on what truly matters, what will matter tomorrow, next year, and in the next 5 to 10 years. With this type of focus, irrelevant tasks are eliminated, delegated, or postponed. Instead, relevant and impactful work is prioritized, put to the forefront, and dedicated a greater and more acute level of attention and focus. And ultimately, this is how impactful, deep work gets done.
For us as working women and mothers, it allows us to not have to give up on our careers, and our work in general because of lack of time or availability, but instead multiply our productivity and impact in less time.
Overall, carving out your dream time, your sacred time, and your impactful work time allows us as working women and mothers, and as individuals in general, to build schedules that truly work for us and reflect who we are. How we define our dream time, sacred and impactful work time will certainly differ for each and every one of us. Ultimately, it will help us create the life and work that are truly aligned with our purpose and with ourselves.
Now let me ask you, how do you define your own dream time, sacred time, and impactful work time? If you had to build you a schedule based on these three principles, what would fit in there?
Do you have a vision for your life? Do you sense a higher purpose for yourself? Yet, are you finding that the various parts of your life, including your family, career, passions and interests pull you into too many directions to allow you to bring this vision to life? Maybe you always dreamt of opening your own gym, yet life seems to have taken you in a different direction, and now you feel stuck splitting your time between your job and family, even as you hustle to hold on to your dream. Or maybe you were aspiring to advance to the C-suite, yet your career progress so far and the limitations of your schedule as a working mom have you settling for way less than you deserve. If so, you certainly are not alone.
Pulled between the demands of motherhood, caregiving, and work, many, if not most working women and moms have a hard time even having a vision and focus for their lives, let alone nurture it and bring it to fruition. Many end up even giving up on their dreams and long-term vision, instead living with a sense of failure and regret. As time goes on, many wonder if they truly can achieve their dreams , or if they have to give up on them in part or completely to put food on the table, be good mothers, or fit into their communities and families. Despite the common refrains in the media touting the misleading message that we can do and have it all (certainly not at the same time), there are still too many of us left in the trenches of working womanhood and motherhood.
One of the biggest misconceptions out there is that your day job is incompatible with your day dream. Unless your dream is aligned with your career, and is to climb the elusive corporate ladder, break the proverbial “glass ceiling”, or shatter the “brick wall” for women of color, that is…
Yet, this could not be further from the truth. Research shows that even when it comes to jobs, women hold an average of 12.1 jobs in their lifetime (compared to 12.5 jobs for men), which suggests a myriad of changes and transitions professionally. Throughout these changes, as well as all the other transitions working women and moms go through, from getting married to giving birth and caring for older parents among others, many lose sight of the vision for their lives, the dreams and ambitions they had in their hearts when they first started out. Yet, what if it were possible to navigate these life transitions, and still hold on to our day dreams?
While it’s certainly far from being easy, it is possible, and here are a few ways to do it:
Clarify your vision and purpose
What did you want to be when you were younger? What was the dream in your heart back then? What is it now? How can you translate this dream into a vision for your life?
If you’ve lost sight of your dream and vision because you had to “grow up”, make money and become a responsible adult, it’s not too late to remember it and bring it back to life. Neither is it an exercise in futility or an indulgence. To the very contrary, it is oftentimes the motivation, drive and inspiration you need to keep being your best self and doing your best work.
Channel your dreams into action
Bringing your vision into life requires some action on your part. It doesn’t mean you necessarily have to overhaul your entire life and start from scratch. Most often, it simply means looking at what you already have going on, especially in your career, and look for ways to integrate your dream into the structure you already have in place. For some, it’s adding a dimension of service into their careers, or volunteering for a cause at work, or even making a lateral move or change companies or industries. I know a woman who is a survivor of breast cancer, whose dream is to spread the message of wellness and healing to as many women as possible, who brings her vision to life by volunteering through her company for instance.
Use your career to fuel your dream purpose and vice-versa
Last but not least, you can also use your actual day job and career as support for your dream and life vision. Financially, your career can help support your side hustle, or any other activities you may engage in to achieve your dreams. Having the peace of mind provided by a regular paycheck and health benefits can relieve a lot of the pressure associated with starting your own business, while giving you the opportunity to work on your dream during off-hours. What you learn in your career also can provide you with the skills you need to do so, from management skills to organizational and technical knowledge, within ethical limits of course. Lastly, the network you build in your career also comes in handy when it comes to promoting your business, book, venture or activities as well.
In the reverse, your side hustle and other activities you engage in to pursue the vision or purpose for your life, can bring added benefits to your career. Among these, are the invaluable leadership, management, and even technical skills you develop in the process. All in all, it’s a win-win situation, in addition to being a great way to add to your personal growth and fulfillment.
So no, you don’t have to give up on the vision and purpose for your life on account of being a mom, having a job, or being pulled in too many directions. To the contrary, you can combine what you have and what you aspire to, into the highest, most fulfilling expression of your potential for your benefit and that of those around you.
Want to know more about starting and growing your own side hustle? Check out my e-book and accompanying workbook: Girl, Get Your Side Hustle On!
How many times as a working mom have you felt a wave of resentment come up at the thought of everything you have to do day in and day out?
And how many times has this resentment made you feel guilty as a result?
Further, let me ask you, how many times have you even dared talking about this feeling of resentment to anyone for fear of being negatively judged?
If you’re nodding at any of these questions, you’re certainly not alone.
Resentment is one of the best well-kept secrets about and among working moms. As working mothers are hailed, praised, and kept, by society as “sheroes”, they’re also not allowed to show weakness, and certainly not resentment. Instead, they are expected to hold up the sacred veil of motherhood, bravely (and flawlessly) handling all the responsibilities assigned to them without a complaint, murmur or negative feeling. Being resentful as a working mom is perceived as a threat to this picture-perfect idealization of womanhood, and as such, is considered a big no-no for many, if not most, working women.
Yet, the reality is, as we pick up dirty socks off the floor, wash dishes, run from work to kids’ activities, forgetting to fill this or that form, it’s virtually impossible for many, if not most working moms, to experience if only a touch of resentment at some point or another. This is especially true when there is a lack of gender equity in the home and at work, and women have to face a staggering lack of resources and support, from childcare to work flexibility.
So what do you do when resentment rears its ugly head in the midst of your unending to-do list and tired self? How do you address the subtle anger rising up in you as you consider one obstacle after another standing before you? Here are some tips that may help:
Stop and reflect!
Resentment is a clear indicator that there is a lack of balance somewhere. I’ve found over the years that our bodies and minds will give us distress signals. However, too often, we fail to listen. This is where pausing to listen to ourselves is important.
Why am I feeling so resentful? What is creating this feeling in me?
Identifying the root cause of resentment can go a long way towards addressing what the real issue is. Oftentimes, we feel resentful because of false beliefs, or because we’ve taken on too much, or we feel unappreciated in one or many areas of our lives and work.
What is making you feel resentful as a working mom?
Resentment is not a dirty secret to lug around and hide from everyone around us. Neither does it make us bad mothers. It simply makes us human, and allows us to heal what is festering inside us. This is where communication, effective communication that is, comes in handy.
Communicating how you feel, in a non-blaming way, whether it is to your partner, family or friends, can help them better understand where you’re coming from. It can also help in solving the imbalance you may be experiencing, whether it’s related to the lack of equity at home, or the stress in your career and/or relationships.
Who can you trust to talk it out and communicate how you’re feeling?
Readjust
Last but not least, while reflection and communication are important, action is indispensable to readjust the lack of balance causing the resentment you’re feeling. It may be readjusting the distribution of responsibilities and chores in the household, or looking to make positive changes in your career, or asking for more support in your relationships. It’s often also a matter of re-centering yourself and taking better care of yourself through self-care. Whatever the need may be, taking action on it can help reduce the feelings of resentment you’re experiencing.
How can you readjust your schedule, work and life to feel less resentful?
In conclusion, feeling resentful as a working mom is not a sign to blame yourself or others. It’s a powerful signal to re-establish more balance, joy and health in your work and life. Pausing to reflect, talking it out and readjusting as needed are three effective steps that can help tremendously in the process.
How are you dealing with feeling resentful as a working mom?
Question: My husband and I have been enjoying earning more over the years in our careers. However, our tax bill has also been going up. What can we do to avoid paying so much in taxes?
Signed, Overtaxed Mama
Hi Overtaxed Mama,
I so hear you! As we grow into our careers, so do our incomes over time. If we add to this being in relationships and counting our partners’ income jointly, chances are our earnings can grow even more as the years pass. However, with our incomes, also grows another less fun side-effect, that is the taxes we end up owing on our tax returns. After all, doesn’t the popular saying confirm only two things are certain, death and taxes?
As you may have watched your earnings grow, you may also have watched your tax bill get larger as you file taxes. Since you’re taxed on your raising income, it’s hard to avoid. However, there are ways to offset the tax increase that comes with earnings growth. I’ve grouped these in 3 categories, that you may remember under the mnemonic RED:
R is for the Retirement savings you should maximize:
One of the most effective ways to reduce your taxable income is to increase your retirement savings. You can do this by maximizing your contributions to your 401k employer-sponsored plan, up to $20,500 in 2022. Individuals 50 and olderSince these contributions are made before before tax, they directly reduce your income.
You can also contribute to an Individual Retirement Account (IRA), up to $6,000 annually ($7,000 for 50 and older).
Another way to reduce your taxable income is to use flexible spending plans, offered by some employers. One of these is the Flexible Spending account (FSA), in which employees can contribute and set aside funds up to $2,850 in 2022 for medical expenses.
Similar to the FSA, the Health Savings account (HSA) is dedicated to employees with high-deductible health insurance plans, whose pre-tax contributions go toward healthcare costs.
Lastly, yet another way to bring your taxable income down is to deduct business-related expenses such as the home office deduction for instance. Other available business deductions include health insurance costs, as well as other deductible expenses.
These are all effective ways to reduce your taxable income, especially as it increases over time. Consider using one or a combination of these to lower your tax burden.
