In this episode, I discuss 4 gender biases to look out for in your performance review as a working woman and mom at work. These biases include:
the language bias
the visibility bias
the proximity bias
the ingroup bias
Listen in for more awareness around these biases!
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As one of the only women at work, I used to dread performance review time, especially at year-end. Although I was supposed to know what to expect, it was most often a somewhat unclear, hence stressful experience. However, the more I’ve grown personally and professionally, I’ve learned there is so much more to performance reviews than meets the eye, especially for women. The reality is, performance reviews are riddled with gender biases. Being aware of and understanding these can help in proactively addressing and dismantling these.
Here are 4 types of gender biases to look out for as a woman at work:
Language bias
Research shows there exists a language bias to performance reviews. Stanford Graduate School of Business professor of organizational behavior Shelley J. Correll co-authored a 2020 study which coded the performance review language used by employees at a Fortune 500 company. The study found that based on the gender of the employee, managers tend to perceive the same or similar behaviors differently. This is akin to “gender policing” whereby women are judged differently for engaging in the same behavior as men, experiencing a backlash when they do not fall within gender norms. More specifically, significant biases were found in the evaluations of people’s personalities, potential and exceptionalism. This is mostly due to ill-defined performance review protocols and processes which give way to this bias.
Visibility Bias
Due to innate gender differences between men and women, women are more apt to favor skills such as communication and collaboration than men. Women may spend more time and effort on less visible tasks, such as organizing team events or ensuring team cohesion. Linked In’s 2023 report on global differences in skills shows women hold more soft skills than men, at a rate of 13.6% for women vs. 10.6% of skills for men. Men on the other hand, also due to these innate gender differences, may focus on more income-earning skills, which may be applied in more visible roles. Data shows higher shares of disruptive tech skills for men than women, for instance. These may include tasks such as leading meetings or speaking at conferences.
Because highly visible tasks are easier to measure and quantify in terms of organizational impact and benefit, they tend to rank higher on performance evaluations. Meanwhile, less visible ones may fall to the bottom of the performance evaluation scale. Much of this lends itself to a dangerous bias, and is mostly due to the lack of or poor setting of individualized goals.
Proximity bias
If you’ve ever been in a team setting, you may have noted this bias. The proximity bias favors people who are in proximity, as it is assumed that those in close proximity do more work or more important work. This is especially relevant since the pandemic as remote work appears to help keep more women, especially working moms, in the work force. According to a 2023 Hamilton Project Report, 70.4% of moms with kids under the age of 5 were in the workforce, which constitutes an all-time high record.
However, as more working women and moms may work remotely, they may also fall victim to this proximity bias. Not being present in the office as much as their male counterparts, who may benefit from their partners’ support at home, may penalize women and moms at a larger scale.
Ingroup Bias
Ingroup bias is the tendency to favor those who are members of one’s groups over those who may be perceived as not belonging. This may particularly impact working women and moms who may not be seen as belonging to male-dominated industries, companies or groups. This can also significantly affect women and moms working remotely.
While both men and women can be victims of this bias, women may be more at risk due to the already existing gender biases against women. As men tend to be seen more as leaders, they may indirectly benefit from this.
Recognizing and addressing these biases is crucial in improving the outcome of performance reviews. Some ways to address these include, but may not be limited to, improving the performance review process and protocols, educating managers on these biases, and proactively seeking more actionable feedback.
Have you encountered any of these performance review biases as a woman at work?
I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just left a well-paying job with benefits, with no backup plan other than following my purpose. With two young children, a mortgage and bills shared with my husband, I took the most dangerous leap of faith I could have ever imagined. For the career-conscious, the ambitious, the money-conscious accountant I was, it was so out of character…And it was, well, so ungrateful of me…
How could I be so ungrateful as to leave behind everything I ought to have been thankful for? How could I walk away from a decent job when so many were in need of one? These questions kept swirling in my mind, as I contemplated my decision to walk away and chart a different path for my career and life…Although I was certainly grateful for the many privileges afforded me as a young, educated working woman and mom, there was something else lurking beneath the surface…Something more, something purposeful, that I could not quite yet put my finger on, or even verbalize at the time. It was an itch I had to scratch, a call that forced me to step into the unknown, at the risk of looking ungrateful…Yet I kept feeling like aspiring to something different than what I had was lacking in gratitude…
As women and moms, we’re socialized to be grateful. To show endless gratitude for all we’re privileged to have, from a husband, to children, a career or financial stability. After all, gratitude does have its benefits, fromimproving our health, to gaining a psychological edge in life, building stronger relationships, and increasing productivity and career success. Giving thanks can literally save our lives and propel us forward…For women, it’s even been linked to developing a more body-positive image. However, it can also turn into a golden prison weaponized and collectively weaponized against women…
This golden prison is also known as the “gratitude trap”. It’s this endless pit of constantly feeling like we have to be so grateful for everything that in turn we end up shrinking and apologizing for taking space. From the home to the office, we shrink in the name of misplaced, excessive gratitude, making ourselves small enough to be palatable, to accommodate others and make up for the space we ought to proudly fill. At work, we feel like we should be so grateful for having a job, for every promotion, every hard-earned success. At home, we ought to feel so much gratitude for the husband, the kids, the home, that we accept to crumble under the mountain of work that falls on our shoulders and the struggle to juggle it all. In the name of gratitude, we may continuously fade in the background, erase ourselves, over-accommodate others while often neglecting ourselves and apologizing for our very existence.
How many times do we see women at work saying sorry, in meetings, over email and in personal interactions? How many times do we feel like we have to over-compensate for our successes by shrinking and bending over backwards for others? How many times do we hear when we dare to utter a single complaint, that we have much to be grateful for? And how many times are we reminded by society that we’ve come a long way, and should be grateful for it?
This is the diminishing side of gratitude, the reductive, the shrinking, the shame-filled side, that we don’t talk about enough. This is the other edge, the sharp, cutting edge of an otherwise beneficial practice that we too often silence, for fear of staining its immaculate perception. Yet, it is a side we need to bring out in the light, if we are to rid ourselves of the shame and guilt of desiring more or wanting something different.
So what are we to do to keep from getting swallowed by the “gratitude trap” as working women and moms? Do we ditch gratitude altogether? Do we continue to allow ourselves to be so thankful that we keep shrinking? After too many years of misunderstanding and misusing gratitude, I’ve come to a few guiding principles as a working woman and mom:
From fixed to growth mindset: Changing our mindset about gratitude!
Like so many, I used to think being grateful also meant refraining from wanting something different or aspiring to better or more. This was a reductive mindset about gratitude, akin to the fixed mindset. Excessive gratitude would then put a ceiling on my abilities, achievements and progress. Instead, I now choose to think of gratitude in a more expansive way. Because I’m grateful for how far I’ve come, and for every ounce of goodness and privilege in my life, I give myself permission to be grateful in advance for future blessings. I choose to think of gratitude as a multiplier, rather than as a ceiling. This is the growth mindset applied to gratitude.
Using gratitude as a fuel
Whenever I think of all I’m grateful for, I’m reminded of how far I’ve come and the many obstacles I’ve been fortunate to overcome, the people in my life and on my path, and the spaces, situations and circumstances that have brought me to this point.
Choosing to see gratitude as a sign of progress and evolution also allows me to use it as fuel for future progress.
Documenting our gratitude journey and using it to motivate others
Gratitude is best when shared with others. Not only can it benefit us then, but it can also benefit others, motivating them to go after their own purpose and dreams. By freeing others to see what is possible through gratitude, we also free ourselves from the trap of limiting gratitude.
So, yes, even as I am deeply grateful to even be writing these words, it’s no longer out of a sense of gratitude that traps and limits me. As you tap into your own sense of gratitude, I hope you use it to fuel yourself, motivate others and transcend any undue limit every imposed on you.
The letter came in the mail a couple of days before I even got a chance to open it. It was a routine mammogram I thought nothing of, like most of the other mammograms I had done before. Except this one was a tad different…
The word “abnormal” jumped at me from the page, obscuring the remainder of the letter. I was being called in for a diagnostic mammogram due to an abnormality in one of my breasts. My heart dropped, my mind started racing, the ground suddenly did not feel as quite as firm…I grabbed my phone and started googling “abnormal mammogram”. The results were dizzying in their abundance and gravity…I felt around for the closest chair and sat down…
If you’ve ever received a similar or the same letter or phone call alerting you of a mammogram abnormality, you may well understand how I felt. The gut-wrenching feeling, the drop in your chest, the wobble in your shaky legs…
While abnormal mammogram notifications can be associated with numerous factors, a prevalent one for women over 40 is breast density. It certainly was in my case, and is in that of countless women.
But first what is even breast density?
Dense breasts are simply breasts that have more breast and connective tissue, which is denser than fat. Figure 1 below illustrates various levels of breast density.
Figure 1.
According to the Susan G. Komen website, “about 50 to 60% of women over the age of 40 in the United States have dense breasts”. These statistics decrease significantly for women ages 70-74, with only 20 to 30% of the latter exhibiting signs of breast density. It’s important to note that breast density is not based on weight, as 50 to 60% of women with healthy weights also have dense breasts, in contrast to 20 to 30% of obese women. Breast density can be affected by medications containing hormones, such as menopausal hormone therapy (MHT) and breast cancer treatment medication tamoxifen.
Why does breast density matter so much when it comes to breast cancer?
Due to the heightened breast cancer risk associated with breast density, it is recommended to supplement routine mammograms with additional screenings such as ultrasounds. However, there are yet no specific screening guidelines or recommendations for additional screenings. Lowering breast density also doesn’t necessarily result in the risk of breast cancer decreasing.
So the next time you receive a notification letter after a mammogram, please check for the included breast density assessment. Make sure to speak to your provider about additional screening options and ways of lowering the risk of breast cancer. Most importantly, and while it’s easier said than done, do not panic! Most women with dense breasts end up having to undergo additional breast screenings to rule out any abnormalities.
As for me, going through additional diagnostic screening allowed me to learn and share more information around breast density. As I thank God that all is well, I’m also fully aware that every day is a blessing, and that this fight against breast cancer is our collective fight.
Have you ever wondered how you can advance your career while being a woman, wife and/or mother, and not having to work 40+ hours every week? Have you ever considered cloning yourself so you could do all the things, everywhere at the same time? You’re certainly not the only one. As a working woman and mom, managing your career for growth and advancement, while dedicating the astronomical time society has made us believe is required for it, often seems to fall under the “mission impossible” category. Or at least under one that is far from being sustainable in the long term…
As a result, working women often feel powerless in the face of the many professional and personal challenges facing them as they move forward in our careers. This is only made worse by the plethora of gender biases they encounter in the workplace. What happens next, or even simultaneously, can sadly be summarized as ranks of working women stuck in lower levels of management (when they reach management at all), or exiting the professional stage altogether. This is also known as the “broken rung” , or the phenomenon of women being stuck between entry-level and management positions, which McKinsey’s 2023 Women in the Workplace report identifies as the most significant hurdle on women’s path to senior leadership.
Like so many other women, this is an all-too-common ordeal I wish I weren’t as familiar with. Through my various seasons of womanhood, from early career, motherhood, to mid-career and through my transition into academia, I’ve endlessly wondered how women can possibly build a sustainable career without sacrificing family, sanity and the rest of life.
Well, long after the seeds of this deeply personal yet undeniably collective question began sprouting in my early and mid-career mind, I stumbled upon a career awakening of sorts through the world of academia. While careers in academia are split between research, teaching and service, the true currency of advancement in the academic world is published research work. Which means despite all the various windows of opportunities, urgent and important work in the academic world, academics, and especially women academics, must prioritize their research work. This is even more important for women in the patriarchal academic system, who most often do not benefit from the same expanses of available time than their male counterparts due to personal, service and other responsibilities. Hence the need for women academics, like most other career women, to create the systems necessary for their survival and ultimately, their professional thriving.
It’s in this context that I stumbled upon one of my favorite podcasts entitled “Academic Writing Amplified” by Cathy Mazak, which focuses on helping women in the professorate write and publish more without succumbing to the false notion that they must work around the clock to do so. The advice in this podcast has inspired me to share these three steps to building a sustainable career as working women and moms across industries and fields of work:
Determine what moves the needle in your career
In careers that are more than ever fraught with demands of all kinds, from unending meetings to email apocalypses, seeing the forest from the trees can near mission impossible. Hence why so many of us have been conditioned to believe professional success requires ungodly schedules and unfathomable personal sacrifices. Yet, what if the real problem hid in the professional confusion that constant communication and nagging technology have created over the years?
This is where taking a step back and reflecting on what moves the needle in your career makes a difference. What are the areas of your career that are instrumental to your advancement and growth? What weighs the heaviest when it comes to your upcoming promotion? What has the most long-term impact on your career? Those are the areas where the bulk of your focus, time and energy should be directed. If you’re not clear on what these are, going back to your job description, last performance review, or having a check-in with your managers and peers may help.
Build your schedule around what moves the needle in your career
Identifying the area(s) that move the needle in your career is the first step to building a sustainable career. The next step is putting action behind this, by re-evaluating and re-building your schedule around those areas. When you look at your current schedule, where does the bulk of your time go? Do you spend most of your time on emails and meetings? Is most of your schedule revolving around areas that are not advancing important projects or helping you meet crucial goals?
Very often, when we make an inventory of how we spend our time at work, we unfortunately realize that we’re majoring in minors. Much of our time is often spent on urgent, yet not important activities. Do you want to be known for how fast you answer emails, or for the impactful goals you are achieving? I would bet the latter… If so, consider rebuilding your schedule to prioritize the projects, activities and goals that move your career forward.
Implement habits and systems that help you keep the main thing the main thing
Last but not least, building the systems and habits to prioritize the pivotal areas of your career is key. In her podcast entitled “Academic Writing Amplified” aimed at helping women in academia write research more, author and entrepreneur Cathy Mazak talks about identifying your “tiger time” or “soar time”. This is your most productive, less distracted time of day, that can allow you to tackle your most important work in the most effective way. What is your “tiger time” or “soar time”?
Once you can consistently identify and use your most productive time for your most impactful work, then you can relegate other less important activities to other parts of your day. Are you used to checking your email first thing in the morning, and letting it eat most of your time? Schedule a later time in the day to open your inbox and set a time limit for email-related activities. Are meetings overwhelming your schedule and preventing you from focusing on important projects? Consider blocking your calendar, saying “no” more often, and offering more suitable time alternatives.
All in all, building a more sustainable career as a working woman and mom comes down to an exercise in clarity and habit-building. From reflecting on what is truly impactful in your career, to building your schedule around pivotal activities at work, and finally implementing habits and systems to prioritize the latter, it’s a process. Yet, it is one that can make a world of difference between majoring in minors and endlessly sacrificing at the altar of career sainthood to no avail, and effectively saving time and energy to zoom in on what really matters.
