“You don’t need to take that certification, you’re a mom now, just take care of your kids…”
I remember these words like it was yesterday. While they were intended to be well-meaning coming from one of my loved ones, they cut like a knife. I had been trying to get my Certified Public Accounting license for a few months now, and had failed miserably after the first few attempts. I was on the verge of giving up….Had it not been for my wonderfully supportive husband, I probably would have…
This story is not unique. It’s the story of so many ambitious moms trying hard to juggle motherhood, career and everything in between. On one hand, they have so much merit going after their dreams and purpose while taking care of their families, often at the expense of their own well-being. On the other, they are often discouraged to do so, and even criticized and humiliated in the process.
Despite a growing number of working mothers in the U.S. workforce, even after the pandemic, research confirms the discrimination and negative stereotypes against working moms still persist at the hiring stage and beyond. Yet, working moms are still just as ambitious as women without children. They are also returning to work in greater numbers after the pandemic and using the advantage of remote and flexible work, as well as leveraging digital technology, to juggle work and family life. This is in addition to the general ambition bias against women in general, and working moms in particular. Women, and mothers in particular, are often slammed for being ambitious and stepping out of the traditional roles of wife and mother. Actually, being a working mom has been proven to benefit children.
What’s a working mom to do to face the double-edged sword of ambition?
Here are a few steps that can help:
- Clarify your values:
Clarifying your values and priorities is the first step to fight this double-edged sword. What is truly important to you? What impact do you want to make on your family, community and the world at large? What do you want your legacy to be? Who do you truly want to be? These are some of the questions that will help you clarify your values and priorities, and help you move in the direction of what truly matters to your authentic self.
- Assume your choice:
Even after clarifying what my values and priorities were, I was still in denial for a long time. It is important to assume your choice as an ambition working mother, especially when faced with opposition from the outer world. Accepting yourself and your career as well as your life choices is absolutely imperative when it comes to fighting the stigma of ambition as a working mom.
- Create your own brand of motherhood:
Last but not least, clarifying your values and priorities and assuming your choice will lead you to create your own brand of motherhood. What kind of mother do you see yourself being? How do you mother best?
The reality is, ambition truly is a double-edged sword for working moms, both on the professional and on the personal and community front. Yet it is one that moms can use to improve themselves, inspire their family and create a new brand of motherhood for themselves.
How do you fight the double-edged sword of ambition as a working mom?
The Corporate Sis.
