As I write this post, we’re a few days away from 2017, and for so many of us, that means reflecting back on the past year. I have to say, 2016 has been quite the year, from everything that’s happened around, to the many lessons I’ve personally learnt this year. As they say, it’s been the best of times, it’s been the worst of times…But overall, it’s been a great teacher, and a time many of us may look back on with a tingle in our throat, a pep in our step, and a bit of wisdom in our back pockets…
Among the many lessons of 2016, here are the 7 that marked me the most, and that I’m packing up with me as I move into the New Year:
Hello Again History, You’re Back Already!
You know that teacher from middle school you never quite forgot, who made you practice your homework mistakes over and over again until every single one of your dreams was filled with scribbled pages? Yeah, that one…
Well, that’s history for you, and every year, it kinda makes you scribble the same lessons you failed to learn over time . Or brings you new ones to grapple with, as you continuously figure out how to handle this thing called Life.
One of the most polarizing elections in my lifetime took place in the US this year, in the midst of social upheaval, police violence and world instability. Tensions and issues reminiscent of times most of us would want to forget about have been sprouting everywhere. I mean, it’s becoming seriously painful to watch or read the news…
From Brexit back in June to the 2016 US elections, the backlash between police and civilians, the loss of iconic figures like Mohamed Ali, Gwen Ifill, Prince, David Bowie and most recently George Michael (who can forget “Faith”), there’s been quite the onslaught of bad news.
But there’s also been quite the onslaught of lessons from History, among which:
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When good people stay silent, good things easily get bad, and bad things even worse;
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History tends to repeat itself when we fail to learn the lesson;
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That just talking about things only starts the process of Change, doing something about them really effects real change.
Speaking of which…
Change Starts With Me…
Ok, I must admit, I can easily get on the “Poor Me” bandwagon…With the whole tissue, romantic movies and glass of wine setup on a rainy Friday night…Except while it can be particularly effective at cleaning your lenses and giving you your fill of self-pity for the month, it doesn’t exactly get you a pay raise or help you lose those last five pounds…
In the midst of picking up my face off the floor in life and business this year (and others too), I’m finally getting to stick to my forehead the fact that change, real change, starts with me. As in getting up an hour or two earlier to follow my dreams, instead of crying over the same 24 hours Beyonce uses to run the world…
Or keeping consistent with my daily meditation and gratitude practice to actually see results in my reality…
Or controlling my reactions to what happens to me, instead of letting myself drown in my own schedule…
I mean, just doing something, anything in the right direction…
If YouDon’t Know What You Want, You’re Probably Not Going to Get it!
People tend to respond well to people who know what they want. Well, I kinda like to have my options…
I like being able to buy the shoe, eat the dessert, and have my cake wine with it too! Thirty-something years later, I’m learning to let go of all the “all-in-one ” package and instead focus on what I really desire. Like, really know it, with the same certainty I’m fighting my premature laugh lines and occasional facial hair…
I mean, who likes tough choices? Don’t we want it all after all? But it’s not so much that we can’t have it all, as we fail to understand that having some also means losing some.
And that once you make up your mind to be your own best self, to live your own best life in the most authentic way (and actually work towards it), you’re most likely going to get it! The only thing is knowing it, going for it, and kinda letting everything else be what it will be…
Check Your Circle, Or Your Circle Will Check You!
Success is a whole, and that includes your relationships too…As in your girl squad, your family, basically everyone you surround yourself with. You might think that your life and dreams are totally separate from your girl drama, but the reality is, they’re directly linked…
This year, many of my personal relationships have gone through upheavals and changes. The more I tried, the more upheavals and changes happened. And the more I listened to great influencers and entrepreneurs, the likes of Oprah and Lisa Nichols, the more I realized how profoundly affected we are by people around us.
That we can’t take everyone with us on our path…That we must make room for those who support us, “get” us, help us get better…And that sometimes that means letting go of those who are not good for us, wishing them well and keep moving forward…
And speaking of change…
Growth Hurts!
Listen, my body kinda stopped growing a while back…And throughout it, I didn’t really notice how much the whole growth process can really hurt. How much every time you decide to get a little better, it’s going to require something a little less comfortable, a little less easy, and many times, a whole lot more painful…
Like resisting the temptation to throw your alarm clock against the wall when it rings at 4am to remind you to go chase your dreams…
Or when you have to pick the friends who help you grow and let go of those who don’t…
Or when you have to keep doing your own thing when the rest of the world’s screaming at you to give up and be normal…
Or when you’ve messed up so bad and have to eat your pride for breakfast and fix it…
That’s growth, and most of the time, at least before you see any results, it seriously sucks…
Growth comes with change, and one of the ways change manifests itself is through opposition and unpleasant stuff…But when it hurts and you don’t really understand what’s happening, it probably means you’re growing…
Your Mind is Your Greatest Asset!
I believe a lot of things to be amazing assets in our lives….Like hard work, and credentials, and weather-proof 12-hour foundation…But this year, I’ve also learnt the amazing power of our minds and thoughts.
You know what they say, that what you think creates your reality. That you can set your mind to do anything. I mean, it’s printed on cute Starbucks cups, and you hear the likes of Oprah, the Dalai Lama and your local pastor say it all the time…Except all of this mind goodness stuff seems to happen to them, the Oprahs and Dalai Lamas of this world, and not exactly to the rest of us all the time…
So this year finally I decided to give it a serious try…As in actually getting up fifteen minutes earlier, and getting quiet before the rest of the world awakens and starts asking you for juice and bread with Nutella…
As in making my own vision board, after reading from just about everyone else who did the same thing…
Or writing down five to 10 things every day I’m actually grateful for (even when I wake up cursing against whoever invented alarm clocks/work/time).
For once, I just shut off my mind and did it, one simple thing at a time…One morning after the other, one picture on my vision board after the other, one gratitude page after another…
And I noticed the weirdest thing, a shift, mental at first, then events, people and circumstances starting to align. And then I’d stop, and the shift would stop or even reverse itself…and then I’d start again and watch things align themselves all over again.
Whoever said your mind isn’t incredibly powerful?
Not Quitting Is Winning!
Ok, patience is not my strong suit…And frankly, sometimes, it’s just easier to quit, throw up your hands, and just move on to the next thing…Except this whole “adulting” thing doesn’t exactly reward you for giving up…
Don’t get me wrong, there are times when you owe it to yourself to quit. Like when your sanity’s at stake, or your motives are clearly wrong. But there are times, and those are the most important, when the real victory is in not quitting. In keepin’ on keepin’ on, even when it seems absolutely nothing, nada, ziltsch, is happening…
2016 taught me just that…To just keep on keepin’ on, to push through, to show up, even when the sh…hits the fan and nothing looks right. To keep creating, building and writing when you hear crickets. To keep learning when you thought you were done with that chapter of your life. To keep showing up when all you want is crawl back under the covers…
So yes, 2016, it’s been real. Sometimes, a bit too real…But all in all, it’s been the best of times, and it’s been the worst of times…
What have you learnt in 2016?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sis.
Meilleurs voeux Solange! Que 2017 t’apporte que de bonnes choses ainsi qu’à toute ta famille.
De mon côté, 2016 fut une année difficile et la seule leçon que j’ai apprise est que rien n’est garanti. Rien….un peu déprimant ma foi ! J’espère que l’année 2017 nous sera douce et légère. Au fait, moi aussi je passe quelques minutes chaque jour à exprimer ma reconnaissance et ça aide deh ! Que tes rêves les plus chers se réalisent Solange ! Tu le mérites tellement 🙂
Ah et ce n’est pas facile quand on doit rompre des liens d’amitié. Avec le temps, mon cercle d’amis se rétrecit ausi
Meilleurs voeux Solange! Que 2017 t’apporte que de bonnes choses ainsi qu’à toute ta famille.
De mon côté, 2016 fut une année difficile et la seule leçon que j’ai apprise est que rien n’est garanti. Rien….un peu déprimant ma foi ! J’espère que l’année 2017 nous sera douce et légère. Au fait, moi aussi je passe quelques minutes chaque jour à exprimer ma reconnaissance et ça aide deh ! Que tes rêves les plus chers se réalisent Solange ! Tu le mérites tellement 🙂
Ah et ce n’est pas facile quand on doit rompre des liens d’amitié. Avec le temps, mon cercle d’amis se rétrecit aussi
Meilleurs voeux ma très chère Amina! 2016 a aussi été une année très difficile pour moi et je suis tout a fait d’accord avec toi, rien n’est garanti! Je te souhaite le meilleur a toi aussi, et d’exprimer tous tes talents dans ce monde! You’re one of the most genuine, most talented people I know! Big kisses dear, much love!
Meilleurs voeux ma très chère Amina! 2016 a aussi été une année très difficile pour moi et je suis tout a fait d’accord avec toi, rien n’est garanti! Je te souhaite le meilleur a toi aussi, et d’exprimer tous tes talents dans ce monde! You’re one of the most genuine, most talented people I know! Big kisses dear, much love!