I remember stepping up on the graduation stage after getting my last degree, so excited about the upcoming opportunities that awaited me. I had gotten a job offer from a prestigious firm, was done with classes, and was so ready to move on to the next phase of my life. I even had scraped my last dollars for the month to purchase my first suit, and my friend had chipped in for a new Enzo Angiolini square-toed pumps for my first day…I was ready, or so I thought…Little did I know there were many things I would come to wish I did know as I was starting my new career.
Every time I speak with fellow working women and men, one of the most prevalent remarks I get is: “I wish I knew this before I started my career”. Hindsight being 20/20, there’s always something we can learn. I believe it’s our responsibility to go back and share these lessons, especially with those who may just be starting out, or may be wondering if their own lessons are valid.
Here are 20 of the things I wish I knew when I started my career:
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You can pick the career of your choice
When I started out in my own career, I thought I didn’t have much of a choice. It made sense to enter a profession that was in accordance with my prior curriculum, was well-paid and offered decent, if not great, advantages and benefits.
After all, that’s the advice that many, if not most of us, are given as we head to college and into “grown-up” life. We’re told to get a good job with solid benefits, make a good living, climb the corporate or business ladder, and settle down.
What I wish I’d known: You don’t have to pick the most reasonable, or best-paid career around. What you have to do is be faithful to who you are, and choose work that aligns with your skills, talents, personality and ultimately purpose. If you don’t know what that is just yet, know that you can experiment, while still paying your bills, until you find the right career for you.
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You should get information about your career before entering it
Imagine purchasing a home without ever visiting it first? Or entering into a long-term contract without reading it entirely, including the fine print? You probably wouldn’t. Yet, how many of us enter careers we know very little about. We learn about the theory to apply in these jobs, yes. Yet, we have no idea what a day-to-day looks like at said jobs, what companies are in the market, what the responsibilities are, and how to navigate the related politics (yes, there’s such a thing).
The result? Employees who start and stay in careers they loathe, blaming everything that possibly goes wrong, on everything and everyone around, from the boss to the sabotaging co-workers and sucky weather.
What I wish I’d known: Like a new car, a career can be the object of a test-drive. You can find someone who is already in the career you’re getting ready to enter, or think about entering, and ask them questions about their day-to-day jobs. In more formal “career speak”, it’s also known as an informational interview. You can also conduct your own research, speak to your college professors or even consult social media to get more information about your prospective career. Not only will you be better prepared, but it will help you avoid many career heartaches.
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You should get a mentor early on
I didn’t realize the power of mentorship until I was well into my corporate career. Neither had most of my corporate sisters. It wasn’t until the concept of mentors and mentorship started making it into the mainstream, with the whole “women empowerment” and “lean in” theme that I started looking into it.
The reality is, mentors seem to be reserved to a select few. While some companies are making great strides in implementing official mentorship programs, most working women (and men) struggle to find the right mentor for them. That is, if they even have time to think about it.
What I wish I’d known: Getting a mentor does not have to be an exercise in sheer frustration. There are mentors everywhere around you. The trick is to learn to recognize the right one for you. Basically, anyone that you may be looking up to can serve as a mentor for you. Besides, you’d be surprised how much people in higher positions (well, at least, some of them) are willing to help you. It can be as simple as sending an email to an executive you admire and whose career you’re inspired by at your company or in your industry. You can also tap into your network to find the right mentor for you.
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You can mentor someone (even as you start your career)
As you can find the right mentor for you, you can also serve as a mentor. The misconception is that until you’ve reached astronomical levels of success yourself, you cannot mentor someone else. Right? Wrong! You don’t need to reach CEO level to help someone on your way up, or share some precious lessons you’ve learnt along the way. As a matter of fact, every time you learn something, you should teach.
Besides, serving as a mentor can also help your own career, as it’s a sign of leadership that management may be looking for to promote or advance you. It’s also a great way to solidify what you’re learning yourself, and build your own platform if you’re in business.
What I wish I’d known: In the same way that a sophomore has much to teach a freshman about the college experience, you also have much to share about your own experience. As a working woman, it’s actually your responsibility to keep the door open for other women coming behind you. After experiencing serving as a mentor, I wish I had done it sooner. It’s much less intimidating and so much more rewarding than it appears.
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It’s not about how hard you work…
Now this one hurt to realize, even in hindsight. Starting out in the corporate world, I thought success was all about hard work. As in pulling in late hours (and being seen doing so), and sacrificing everything else at the altar of professional achievement. I know I’m not alone in this, especially in the era of the over-achieving, ‘do-it-all”, “empowered” woman…
Don’t get me wrong, work, hard work is important! You can’t just coast your way through to the top of your field, unless you’re willing to crash at some point. However, it’s not the most important part of career success and fulfillment.
What I wish I’d known: Working hard, at times too hard, at the detriment of being social and managing office politics (see #6) can actually make you look lacking at best, and incompetent at worst. Especially as a working woman, professional over-eagerness can easily be perceived as poor time management. Being more balanced in your approach to hard work can actually help, in addition to preserving your sanity, eye health and greying strands.
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But it’s more about how you manage office politics
Office Politics: there should be an entire class around this one subject in college. How to manage office politics in a smart, non-debilitating way eludes many at work. Since there is no college major for office politics so far, at least to my knowledge (although I still have hope), I would like to share it as one of the areas in which I have scored my most humiliating career moments, and one I definitely wish I’d known more about when I stepped into my very first cubicle.
Office politics are tricky. They’re definitely not an exact science; however, there are some fundamentals that everyone, especially working women, need to know upon starting their careers.
What I wish I’d known: I wish someone had told me to study the office politics of every company/department/team I worked in harder than I did their procedures and policies, it would have saved me some interesting moments, to say the least. What this means is to pay particular attention to the chain of power where you work, i.e. who reports to whom, whose interests are at play, and how inter-personal dynamics work. The point is to learn to manage people as well as, if not better, than you. More concretely, it’s about understanding the power plays in your work environment and navigate these in a smart way. This is where your emotional intelligence, and not necessarily your IQ comes into play!
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Networking is important…
Let me say it again: Networking is important! As an introvert, I used to dread networking and avoid it at all costs. What I didn’t realize was that not making it to the Christmas party, or regularly and consistently missing after-hours, was hurting my career more than it was helping it.
Is networking the end-all-be-all of your career? No (introvert breathing deep sigh of relief). Yet, it can help you in more ways than you think. Connections, genuine connections that is, can make the difference between you scoring that promotion or being subtly forced out.
What I wish I’d known: Investing time, effort and sometimes money in active networking can go a long way. As a matter of fact, it can have a big payoff in your current and future careers (see #13). Even as introverts, spending a limited (but effective) amount of time networking can help you meet great people who will impact you in many ways. Joining associations and groups in and outside of your field can also be extremely beneficial. If you must, schedule your networking ahead of time. Plan to attend at least one networking event a month, and follow up on the connections you make.
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But it’s more important to build genuine connections
Yet, networking doesn’t have to be this mechanical process whereby you meet random people and talk about the weather while finding ways to benefit each other. If you start out with this idea, chances are you’ll equate networking with root canals or sugar-free candy.
Networking is a great opportunity to build genuine connections and meet fascinating people. It’s a give-and-take process through which you can find the fulfillment of helping others while also being helped. A win-win overall.
What I wish I’d known: You network with human beings, not robots. Which makes the whole thing less intimidating and daunting, and even fun! Focus on the human interaction, not just the benefits or costs. Be open-minded, show up as yourself and let it be what it will.
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Don’t hesitate to speak up…
If I could get a penny for every time I had an idea to share but instead decided to keep quiet at work, I’d probably be rich (in bitcoins). When you start out in your career, speaking up can seem daunting. It can be challenging to feel confident enough to share your thoughts, views and opinions, especially as an introvert and newcomer.
It took me years to tackle my fear of speaking up. I was scared of being perceived the wrong way, not knowing my stuff, or even be fired for saying the wrong thing. The result? I either listened to someone else get the credit for the ideas stewing in my brain, or buried them so deep I couldn’t remember them afterwards.
What I wish I’d known: Speaking up requires effort, yes, but it’s also necessary. For those for whom it seems absolutely impossible or too hard, there are organizations or groups such as Toastmaster that can help with this. For the rest who think that keeping your head down and crunching as much work as humanly possible will make up for it, think again!
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But know when it’s best to keep quiet
As much as I’m an advocate for speaking up at work, I also believe there are times when it’s best to keep quiet. Such as when everyone is gossiping about one thing or the other. Or when the rumor mill is at its most active around. Or when conflicts and office politics are raging and speaking up would only help you dig an early professional grave.
In general, speaking up against your boss, especially behind their backs, is not a good career-advancing strategy. While there are instances when integrity will actually get you alienated and excluded from the group, taking the high road and keeping your peace is always the best solution.
What I wish I’d known: Part of managing office politics is knowing when to keep quiet. When power plays are raging and negativity is around, it’s best to keep mum!
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Make your boss’s life easier
When in doubt, ask yourself what will make your boss’s life easier. As you may have found out, a lot depends upon your boss. Which is why so many careers are (temporarily) damaged by bad bosses (see #13 for relief). The point is, don’t see your boss as a distant figure that intimidates you. Rather, learn to think and devise ways to make her/his job easier, which in turn will make yours more rewarding and easier.
Are there exceptions to this? Certainly. However, it tends to pay off more than hurt you in the end.
What I wish I’d known: There’s no point in being scared of your boss or playing intricate games to win their favor. Do your work as best as you can, take things off his/her plate, and keep crushing your goals!
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The Queen Bee Syndrome is real (but you can work it)
As I’ve come to learn, the Queen Bee syndrome is alive and well, especially among women of color at work. Its premise is to make women (and everyone else) believe that there is only one spot at the top of the corporate or business ladder for women. This in turn reinforces the competition and animosity between women at work.
One of the reasons why many women don’t trust other women at work is because of this Queen Bee Syndrome. However, there are many opportunities to shine and sit at the table of professional success.
What I wish I’d known: You will face harsh opposition from some women at work. Yet most of the time, this will have less to do with you than with the environment you’re in. This is why it’s so important not to take it personally, and not to allow it to deter you from your goals.
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You are never stuck (you can have many careers)
Many tend to think that once you’ve picked a career and have been in it for some time, you’re basically stuck. Sometimes, if that’s the career of your dreams, then being stuck can feel like a blessing. However, if your career is less than fulfilling, it may feel like a professional death sentence.
What I’ve learnt is that you’re never professionally stuck. Career reinvention is not only possible, sometimes it’s necessary. You’re not limited to one career either. Many have gone from corporate cubicles to entrepreneurial ventures, from company to company and industry to industry. You’re never stuck!
What I wish I’d known: Seeing the many possibilities in your career can go a long way towards having a fulfilling experience. You should never be afraid to explore other career opportunities, or even start over.
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If you don’t ask, you don’t get
People are not mind-readers. Which also means that if you don’t ask for what you want, chances are you may never get it. You may have been too intimidated to ask for the promotion, raise or the flex schedule. However, the simple act of asking can change your career in dramatic ways.
Opening up to ask for what you need at work also demonstrates powerful leadership skills.
What I wish I’d known: It’s OK to ask for what you need. Whether it’s vacation days, more money or more flexibility, your requests have value, and can help you perform better. Besides the worst answer you can get is “No!”
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You can negotiate for a lot more than you think
Negotiation is not just reserved to salaries and perks. You can negotiate for pretty much anything, in a sensible way of course. A few years back, I was actually surprised to learn that you can negotiate extended maternity leaves.
Negotiation is a skill, as well as a two-way, give-and-take process. I’ve learnt that in order to receive, you must get. Which means preparing for any negotiation conversation a list of everything you have brought or will bring to the table, in exchange for what you’re asking for.
What I wish I’d known: The right timing is paramount for effective negotiation. So is being adequately prepared with appropriate research and documentation. For instance, performance review time is not the best salary negotiation time. Instead, budgeting season is a better time to ask for more money, for the simple reason that it’s the time when money is allocated to departments and teams. Researching the market and preparing adequately will also give you an edge, as well as muster your confidence.
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Your job is paying you to learn
There are no bad jobs because every single job has valuable lessons to teach. From how to manage a team, deal with office politics, or learn about business writing, the skills you can get from any occupation are numerous. Once you have this mindset, then you will learn to leverage any job you have.
The most powerful success secret is the ability to leverage every experience and extract the best lessons out of it. Learn to treat your job, any job, as an opportunity to learn while being paid to absorb knowledge.
What I wish I’d known: You are paid to learn. Not to please your boss, score the promotion, or even make more money. Don’t get me wrong, these are important goals to have! However, the brightest (and most important) side to any job is how much you can learn from it. As you’re learning (and being paid to do so), use this as an opportunity to excel, develop yourself and re-purpose all the skills you’re acquiring in the other areas of your life.
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You should start a side hustle
Had I known the many benefits of having a side hustle, I would have started sooner. Despite the additional investment of time and energy, there are numerous advantages to starting a side hustle. From extra income to learning how to run a business, your side hustle can also help your career.
This blog was born out of a side hustle which later turned into a business. I also learnt so much about myself and developed abilities I didn’t think I had, which I was able to re-purpose in my jobs.
What I wish I’d known: It’s OK to explore other sides of your personality, talents and skills through a side hustle. Although you have to ensure that your side hustle is not in conflict with your job, you can greatly benefit from the business and entrepreneurial lessons a side hustle can provide.
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It’s OK to fail (and start over)
Career failure, and failure in general, is not fatal. As a matter of fact, it may actually be a great way to improve yourself and start over in a better way. Instead of beating yourself up over every mistake, every negative remark from your boss or co-workers, change your outlook from career failure to opportunity for improvement, and even mastery.
What I wish I’d known: There is no point in dwelling over career misses and failures. Instead, keep moving forward and apply the lessons learned to your next professional challenge.
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Sometimes your only means of transportation is a leap of faith
Your career will not always be a straight, predictable lane to the top of the corporate or business ladder. Neither should it be. There are times when you will actually have to take a (or many) leap of faith into the unknown.
As a conservative woman concerned with financial security and stability, taking a leap of faith in my career was unthinkable. However, going from the corporate world to entrepreneurship and teaching proved to be much more rewarding and fulfilling than I thought.
What I wish I’d known: Taking risks in your career is not only OK, it may even be necessary at times. Whether it’s changing jobs, industries, or entire sectors, change, as risky as it may be, may just be the impetus needed in your work to reach the next level.
20. Being a Black woman at work changes the career game.
As a Black woman at work, there are unique professional experiences very few, besides other Black women at work, will be able to relate to. Things such as being judged by the way you look, or having your competencies assessed through your appearance, and yes, sometimes having to work twice as hard to be considered “good” at what you do.
While I’ve been fortunate to experience positive and bias-free environments, I’ve also lived through the other side of the “professional coin”. Although it’s left me frustrated, doubtful of my own capabilities, and at times scared for my future, it’s mostly taught me some of the most precious lessons about human resilience, courage and dignity.
What I wish I’d known: As a Black woman at work, your professional journey will be unique. There are times when you will not understand it, and others when you will want to throw in the towel. However, it’s also your responsibility to uphold the highest standards of excellence, and keep the door open for other women as and when you make it through.
What did you wish you would have known when you started your career?
To Your Success,
The Corporate Sister.
