Have you ever found yourself self-sabotaging, whether consciously or unconsciously? Whether it’s by procrastinating, delaying the inevitable, or betraying ourselves by accepting what we don’t want, we, as working women, can unfortunately contribute to self-sabotage.
It wasn’t until I started looking into some of my worst habits that I started asking myself about my own self-sabotaging tendencies. These would usually manifest before an important event or deadline.
Here are 10 ways that self-sabotage can manifest itself for working women:
- You’re not thinking big enough
How often do you use the word “little” do you describe characteristics about yourself or your achievements? You may not be thinking big enough, keeping yourself and your accomplishments small, so as not to make yourself or others uncomfortable.
- You worry too much
Do you anticipate all the possible negative scenarios in a situation before they’ve even happened? Are you already imagining all the issues that may come with a particular project or endeavor? Worrying too much may also be a way of sabotaging ourselves and our work.
- You misunderstand yourself
Do you really know what your true strengths and limitations are? Or do you tend to assess your strengths in a limited manner, and not to have a clear picture of the areas where you could stand to improve? Having the wrong idea about yourself can literally rob you of a clear perception of your abilities and weaknesses, and drive you to sabotage yourself as well.
- You don’t set appropriate boundaries
How many times have you said “yes” when you truly meant “no”? How often do you find yourself in inconvenient, unnerving situations you don’t deserve and are not beneficial to you because you failed to set proper boundaries. As women with strong nurturing instincts and communal tendencies, setting appropriate boundaries can be challenging. Yet with enough practice and self-work, it can become a positive habit over time.
- You don’t assert yourself
What do you really want? What are your true desires, at work and in life? Do you dare to speak these out loud and assert yourself, or are you used to shrinking and making yourself small not to rock the boat? Not asserting ourselves as working women, is also a subtle way of casting a sabotaging shadow on our careers and lives. To change this, it takes to assess what we really desire first, and work at honoring ourselves by authentically expressing these and striving towards them unapologetically.
- You’re too busy
Is your to-do list too long to even begin with? Do you fill up every minute of your time with something to do? Are you questioning how busy you are, and how productive your schedule really is?
If so, chances are, you’re crowding your time with too many activities in a subconscious attempt at not focusing on what truly matters. So many of us, as working women and moms, are incredibly busy. Yet, we find ourselves depleted and unfulfilled, precisely because busyness has become yet another way of sabotaging ourselves.
- You don’t communicate your needs
Are you in charge of all the aspects of your household, your work and your relationships? Do you sometimes wonder why others are not helping you? Do you hesitate to ask for help? If so, you may be stopping yourself from communicating your needs in an authentic and effective manner. Repressing your needs is also another self-sabotage mechanism, that drives you to take on too much, grow resentful and miss out on being the person you’re truly meant to be and focusing on what matters most.
- You isolate yourself
How much of a supportive network do you have? Do you find yourself alone and isolated as you push others away? Do you decline offers of help or invitations to network or build relationships? If so, you may be sticking yourself in a corner, out of fear of letting others in to help, assist or support you. This may keep you from striving effectively towards your goals, sabotaging your efforts in the process.
- You procrastinate
Procrastinate much? If you find yourself putting off tasks until the last minute, delaying important projects, or being easily distracted, you may use procrastination as an unconscious, or conscious excuse not to accomplish your objectives.
- You don’t pay it forward
Do you usually empower other women? Or do you fall victim of self-inflicted jealousy wounds when other women around you win? Do you often compete instead of collaborating with other women? These may be signs that you may be hoarding your own resources, and fiercely refusing to share the support, motivation and empowerment you may receive or need. Whatever you don’t give out of, you end up running out of yourself. This is also self-sabotage. So pay it forward…
What signs above are you witnessing in your career and work?
The Corporate Sis.
