by Solange Lopes | Aug 11, 2014 | Career
What to do to avoid throwing a sharp object at your boss – npr.org
Happy Monday! Yes, it’s Monday, again…You have your performance review with your boss, and things are not going as smoothly as you thought. Or you get your monthly report back from the VP with barely one white space so many comments are splattered across the pages. And the truth is, you are mad! And the longer you’re in the hot seat across from your manager, the madder you are getting…And frankly, when asked what you “honestly” think of the impromptu feedback, you’d have one or two choice words to say to your dear manager, lest you are intent on finding another equivalent or better source of income… And oh are you thankful the brain is a closed organ, so there is no chance your dear boss would ever know what you are actually thinking as you’re looking at the sharp objects around the desk…
So what is one to do to avoid blowing up during a meeting with your superior? Or even not to allow your emotions to show and possibly flare up during a “tough” conversation at work? While emotional reactions are often attributed to women at work, opinions vary between those who think it’s OK to actually let loose and express our emotions, and those who would conclude that after all, it just is not worth it… In any case, we simply can’t deny that emotions do come up at work more often than not, and that more often than not, it’s really hard to contain them. So even if you would never admit it in public, here are a few suggestions to avoid throwing a sharp object at your boss:
- Buy yourself some time! Whether it’s a pause and deep breath, a short bathroom break, or allowing yourself to take a quick walk outside, buy yourself some time to calm down! Even if at first it may seem awkward, you will be thankful you took that extra 30 seconds to pinch your right thigh before responding to your co-worker or manager’s nasty comment. Trying too hard to contain your emotions may simply result in a disaster, so take the time you need to address the conversation intelligently and calmly!
- Talk to yourself! Not out loud, unless you really want to convince your manager you really need that vacation you’ve been asking for! The art of self-talk is not only freeing, but also healing in work environments where the pressure is high! Whether it’s by using a positive affirmation or by simply counting in your head to 100, put some pep in your mental dialogue so as to overcome emotional blocks more effectively.
- Now bring it on! Remember that an effective answer to a nasty comment, probing question or tough conversation is one based on logic, clarity and honesty. Do not just agree to an unfounded comment or observation on your work without professionally questioning it first. Ask for specific examples or instances in your work where the results were not up to par. Request specific guidance on what you could have done to make it better. Defend your product, sources and conclusions as logically as you can, while not being overly argumentative. In other words, don’t just sit there and take it, just because your emotions are threatening to flare up. This is your work, your job, your career, own it!
What tips and tricks do you use during tough conversations at work? How do you mentally prep yourself to address possibly emotional situations in the workplace? Please chime in….
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | May 21, 2015 | Career
Photo credit: susanliddy.com
Building up and maintaining positive, fruitful work relationships can be a job in itself. From managing management’s demands and expectations while refraining from throwing sharp objects at your boss, to remaining engaged with your teams, having genuinely fulfilling relationships at work can sometimes sound like pulling hair, teeth, and all the patience and dedication in the world. And frankly, in between the month-end meetings, quarterly reports and the boss’s last minute projects, not to mention your toddler’s new tantrum phase and your hairdresser moving out of town (hello crisis), who has time for that?
I’ve made some wonderful connections at work, and some that felt more like biting your tongue after chewing gum too hard. Yet through it all, the common denominator that made the difference between the relationships that made it beyond the cubicle, and those that ended up lost somewhere on Linked In, rested solely in how genuine the connections were. And genuine connections, especially at work, take time, effort and a few extra rearrangements in your professional habits. Here’s a quick infographic on simple, no-nonsense ways to score genuine work relationships, that may very well lead you to career success:
by Solange Lopes | May 19, 2015 | Career
Photo credit: http://www.herzogcareerconsulting.com
Most of us spend most of our days at work. Unless you’re an online entrepreneur or remote employee, you’re bound to spend it around people you work with. People who you may like, people who may rub you the wrong way, people who may have you thinking about throwing sharp objects at them, not to mention those who may give a whole new meaning to the side eye. In short, people you have to have relationships with. And whether you like it or not, these relationships do have a huge impact on your career.
While making friends at work may certainly not be our main priority, keeping in mind work relations can seriously impact our career success can help up avoid some common pitfalls, and even position ourselves for success! Here are a few tips on how to build work relationships that build up your career:
1. Be friendly and supportive! Yes, even if others are not. Your team behavior says a lot about you, so put a smile on, do the best you can, and let the chips fall where they may!
2. Be accountable! One big determining factor of your success at work is your accountability to others. Can’t finish a project by the set date? Communicate it early. Schedule freeing up soon? Offer to help other team members.
3. Be considerate! Speaking as if you’re the only person in the room, having your music blasting through your earphones, is not going to earn you kudos in the likeability sector (in addition to increasing your odds of becoming deaf early). Show some consideration to others!
4. Do NOT engage in office gossip! As tempting as watercooler convos may sound, do NOT give in to gossip temptation! Steer clear of any rumors, keep positive, and most importantly, professional!
5. Communication, communication, did I say communication? Keep the lines of communication open within and outside of your team!
What other tips do you have when it comes to building positive work relationships?
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Jan 27, 2015 | Career |
Photo credit: http://amazingasset.com
In case you didn’t know, giving the side eye is a true art (check out this hilariously true post from For Harriet). If you’ve ever come in close contact with a side eye, you’ve felt it cut through you like your mama’s final disciplinary warning. It’s that chastising, effective yet brief side glance that makes you understand we “ain’t playing no more”. It’s the cousin of the eye roll, except it’s clothed in less revealing, aggressive clothing, but just as effective…In other words, you’ve been “read”, silently, effectively, and probably without recourse…
At work, it’s women’s, and minority and Black women’s in particular, way of dealing with all the mini and macro-ways we are stopped in our tracks, silenced or just plain ignored. The side eye is there to say what words are sometimes not enough, or often too much, to express. In other words, instead of telling you how we really feel about that obnoxious email (or throwing a sharp object at you), we give you the side eye to say “I know what you’re doing”, or “I wouldn’t go there if I were you”…
I love me some side eye action. Done the right way, it may just be one of the most effective non-verbal cue to address most forms of disrespect at work or in life, political correctedness included…Well, judge by yourself…
The Corporate Sis.
by Solange Lopes | Nov 24, 2014 | Working Mom & Woman Tips
It’s the countdown to Thanksgiving! Menus are being planned, families are getting ready to gather, some for better, others for worse, and we’re all ready to go ahead and think of those people, events and things we are thankful for (and those we have other, much less thankful words, about…but I digress again…). All in all, Thanksgiving is like this scheduled positive time in your life when you’re expected to say thanks. And considering the bad rap this generation gets, taking a grateful pause makes us all look (and feel) better…
Plus your career may thank you too, what with complaints about the unstable economy (which by the way is much better than advertised), the gender pay gap, and what have you…Not to mention the fact that being thankful can keep you healthy, boost your morale, and prevent you from throwing a sharp object at your boss…Besides, the simple act of saying thank you at work has the power, according to research by Susan Quandt, to help you overcome career roadblocks with the sheer power of optimism:
- Write down what you’re grateful for: Start a gratitude journal, and motivate yourself to find something, someone, anything you’re grateful for…every day, even on Mondays!
- Thank 5 people at work this week: I know, some of you may read this, and think “shoo, I don’t even like five people at work”. Well, try! Whether it be thanking the janitor for keeping the toilets clean, or the cafeteria help for putting up with your constant lack of change, or your manager for skipping this week’s one-on-one, find 5 people, say thank you, and treat yourself to ice cream (or shoes) later!
- Give someone a career boost: If someone has helped you at work, or has been a great resource professionally, don’t just keep it to yourself! Spread the word, tell their managers, give them brownie points on the company’s Intranet, and help boost someone else’s, other than yours, career. It’s the small things, and they pay off…
How are you being thankful at work this week?
The Corporate Sis.
