We’ve all felt like a loser at work, at some point or another. Whether because we seriously messed up, a colleague got promoted over us, or we spilled coffee on our semi-clean shirts (in top of the baby milk and lipstick stain from last month). Feeling like a loser sucks, and feeling like a loser at work, where you do have to put somewhat of a front, sucks even more…
Yet it’s simply hard, if not nearly impossible to avoid. In order to make progress, you will have to fail. And in order to be successful, you have to learn to fail well; but it’s all about accepting to feel like a loser and pick up your self-esteem off the floor with as much dignity (and style) as possible. When you’re a strong, ambitious, no-nonsense woman or man at work, that’s (almost) equivalent to skipping dessert…
Remember Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, admitting she’d dated every loser around her before landing Mr. Right (may I add, Mr. Very Right)? Or Michael Jordan admitting to missing over 9,000 shots in his career? This is not to inspire you to go out there and fail some more, but rather to acknowledge failure, and feeling like you can’t possibly pick your face up off you cubicle floor, is part of the game of success. I’ve dated losers, failed more times than I care to admit when sitting for my license, taken a step back in my career after having kids, and this is my second blog venture, and so forth and so on: Failure and I have had a few run-ins, and we’re just now getting to be on civil terms. You too should get acquainted with it, and learn to fail well so you can succeed even better:
1. Kick the fear of failure to the curb! Even worse than failing, is the failure to fail, which catapults you to failure even faster. Recognize you will fail, just as you will have bad hair days or make a lousy meal (you know you have). Don’t be afraid of the ridicule or the sour experience. Confront it heads on, reapply your lipstick and move on!
2. Nix the loser attitude! Feeling like a loser (temporarily) is one thing, having the attitude to match is another. As much as you may feel like crawling under your desk and missing the quarterly reporting deadline, don’t! Take a minute (or two), compose yourself and get back to work with a professional attitude. That’s just what you do (and then go buy yourself a pint of Dulce de Leche ice cream)…
3. Now re-calibrate your performance! Losses are there to show us where we’ve gotten off track. Use them! Analyze your mistakes, fix them if possible, and apply the lesson to your next performance. Doesn’t Beyonce herself watch every single one of her performances after the fact to improve on them? Be your career’s Queen Bee…
Did you ever feel like a loser at work? What did you do about it?
I remember discussing my very first paid speaking engagement and being unable to even utter a price when asked. Not only did I not know what to ask for, I also did not even have the courage and personal power to determine what I was worth. As a baby entrepreneur, I had to learn what negotiation meant for women in general and women entrepreneurs in particular, and it went beyond just setting a price or rate.
In the world of entrepreneurship, negotiation is a critical skill that can spell the difference between success and stagnation. For women entrepreneurs, navigating this terrain comes with its own unique challenges. Women entrepreneurs often face distinct hurdles in their pursuit of success. Gender biases, stereotypes, and historical imbalances can all play a role in negotiations. However, with the right strategies and mindset, these obstacles can be transformed into opportunities.
1. Cultivate Confidence
Confidence is the bedrock of successful negotiation. Self-assured entrepreneurs are more likely to secure favorable deals. As a woman entrepreneur, believe in your abilities, your business, and your vision. Cultivate self-confidence through continuous learning, networking, and acknowledging your achievements.
2. Master Your Pitch
Your ability to pitch your business idea or product effectively is paramount. Craft a compelling narrative that highlights your unique value proposition. Emphasize how your solution addresses a specific problem or need in the market. Practice your pitch until it flows naturally and persuasively.
3. Research Thoroughly
In negotiation, knowledge is power. Conduct comprehensive research on your potential partners, investors, or clients. Understand their needs, preferences, and pain points. Having data-driven insights at your fingertips will bolster your negotiating position.
4. Embrace Collaborative Negotiation
Strive for win-win outcomes in negotiations. Collaborative negotiation fosters long-term relationships and builds trust. Seek mutually beneficial solutions that align with the interests of all parties involved. This approach not only enhances your reputation but also opens doors to future opportunities.
5. Network Strategically
Networking is an invaluable resource for women entrepreneurs. Attend industry events, join entrepreneurial groups, and connect with mentors and like-minded peers. Building a strong network can provide support, advice, and potential collaborators or investors.
6. Overcome Fear of Rejection
Rejection is an inherent part of entrepreneurship and negotiation. Don’t let the fear of rejection deter you. Every ‘no’ brings you one step closer to a ‘yes.’ Embrace rejection as a learning opportunity and a chance to refine your pitch and approach.
7. Build Resilience
Entrepreneurship can be a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows. Cultivate resilience to weather setbacks and uncertainties. Learn from failures, adapt to changing circumstances, and persevere. Resilience is a key trait of successful entrepreneurs.
8. Develop Active Listening Skills
Effective negotiation requires active listening. Pay close attention to the concerns, needs, and objectives of the other party. By understanding their perspective, you can tailor your proposals to better meet their expectations, increasing the likelihood of a successful outcome.
9. Leverage Your Unique Strengths
Women often bring distinctive qualities to negotiations, such as empathy, intuition, and relationship-building skills. Embrace these strengths as assets that can enhance your negotiation strategies. Show empathy by understanding the needs of your negotiation counterpart, and use your intuition to gauge the dynamics of the negotiation.
10. Practice Negotiation Scenarios
Role-playing negotiation scenarios can sharpen your skills and boost your confidence. Engage in mock negotiations with mentors, peers, or advisors to refine your approach. This practice will help you anticipate challenges and adapt to various negotiation styles.
11. Seek Professional Guidance
Consider seeking the advice of negotiation experts or consultants, especially for high-stakes negotiations. They can provide invaluable insights and strategies to help you secure favorable deals.
12. Be Prepared to Walk Away
Sometimes, the best negotiation tactic is the willingness to walk away from a deal that doesn’t align with your business objectives. Knowing your limits and being ready to decline an unfavorable offer can strengthen your position and lead to better opportunities.
13. Document Agreements
Once a negotiation is successful, ensure that all agreements are documented in writing. Having clear, written contracts helps prevent misunderstandings and disputes down the road.
Negotiation is a core skill for women entrepreneurs aiming to thrive in the world of business. By cultivating confidence, mastering the art of pitching, and embracing a collaborative approach, women entrepreneurs can overcome gender-related challenges and secure the deals and partnerships that drive their businesses forward. Remember that every negotiation is an opportunity for growth, learning, and building a brighter future for your entrepreneurial endeavors.
What challenges are you facing when it comes to negotiating as a woman entrepreneur?
I don’t know about you, but the end of the summer is always a bit of a bittersweet moment for me. The (somewhat) sweet and lazy days of summer, peppered with kids’ chaos, traveling snafus and fridges emptying at the speed of the light, quickly give room to bitter and busier days, along with more intense work, business and school schedules. What it also spells for many, if not most working women and moms, is a serious financial wake-up call.
As a result, most working women and moms find themselves running on empty at the end of the summer, needing to financially recover for the last three months of pay cuts, expensive vacations and outrageous childcare and camp options. Here are a few tips and strategies that may help in the process, and lay the foundation for future financial balance and success:
Pause to reflect and realign financially
Reflect and Reevaluate Your Financial Goals
Before going into panic mode or jumping into financial recovery mode, pause and take some time for reflection and realignment around your summer spending and financial goals:
What were the financial goals you set at the beginning of the year, if any?
Did your summer spending get out of control during your vacation?
Or did you manage to stick to your budget?
What is your financial vision going forward?
Assessing your finances against your goals will not only help you understand where you are financially; it will also help you understand your spending habits and identify areas for improvement.
2.Realign Your Budget for Success
Now that you’ve reflected on your spending and your goals, it’s time to get into financial realignment mode:
What discretionary expenses can be trimmed down?
Can the reduced expenses be allocated towards your financial goals, to build an emergency fund, pay off debt, or investing?
Building a budget will help guide your recovery journey and realign yourself financially. Tools like Mint, YNAB (You Need A Budget), and PocketGuard empower you to track your expenses, set financial goals, and monitor your progress. These apps sync with your bank accounts, categorize your spending, and provide insights into areas where you can cut back. This approach allows you to regain control of your finances and allocate funds towards recovery.
3. Navigate Work-Life Integration during the back-to-school season
Effectively integrating your career and family life is crucial for both your family and personal well-being and your financial well-being. This is where the back-to-school season is a great opportunity to create a structured routine that allows you to manage your work commitments, be present with your family and reduce your expenses through better planning and time management.
Take financial action!
4. Strategically tackle your debt!
TransUnion’s 2023 Spring and Summer 2023 Travel Report shows 57% of survey respondents planned to use credit card debt to travel. If you’re among those who accumulated debt over the summer, it’s time to take action:
Prioritize paying off high-interest debt to save money in the long run.
Consider consolidating your debt!
Negotiate with creditors to make your debt more manageable.
Freeing yourself from debt is one of the most important steps you can take towards thriving financially.
5. Explore New Income Streams!
It’s one thing to tackle your debt and cut expenses as part of realigning your budget. It’s also about increasing your income through diversifying your income streams. As a working woman and mom, tapping into your formal and informal skills is invaluable, from freelancing, consulting, or starting a side hustle.
6. Revamp Your Savings Strategy
As summer fades, it’s an ideal time to revisit your savings strategy:
Have a clear purpose for your savings so you can motivate to continue setting money aside.
Consider setting up automatic transfers to your savings accounts to make saving a habit.
Create specific savings goals, whether it’s for a family vacation, education funds, or retirement.
Grow forward!
7. Invest in Your Financial Education
Financial education will not only allow you to get out of the summer financial pit you may be in. It will also help you empower yourself to grow your financial wealth:
Take advantage of resources such as online courses, books, and workshops to enhance your financial literacy. Websites like Udemy, Coursera, and LinkedIn Learning provide a range of courses suitable for various skill levels. Equipping yourself with the knowledge and tools to make informed financial decisions is an integral part of post-summer financial recovery.
Learn about investments, savings vehicles, and tax strategies will help you make informed decisions that align with your long-term goals.
8. Cultivate mindfulness and self-care.
Financial recovery can be a journey of ups and downs. Practicing mindfulness and self-care is essential to maintaining a positive mindset throughout the process. Engage in activities that bring you joy and reduce stress, whether it’s yoga, meditation, or spending quality time with loved ones.
9. Network and Support
Connect with other working women and moms who are also on the path to financial thriving. Join online communities, attend networking events, and share your experiences. The support and insights you gain from like-minded individuals can be invaluable in staying motivated and accountable.
All in all, transitioning from vacation vibes to financial thrive might seem intimidating and impossible to achieve. However, with the right strategies and mindset, you can make significant strides towards your financial goals. Remember, post-summer financial recovery is a journey, and each step you take brings you closer to a more secure and empowered future as a successful working woman and mom.
Now your turn, what strategies are you using to recover financially from the summer months?
Have you ever said to yourself, whether it was as related to a life or work situation, there’s got to be MORE? Have you ever been so sick and tired of being sick and tired of the status quo in your workplace and wondered if there is more to your career? Have you been stuck in your business to the point of wondering if there is more to being an entrepreneur?
I suspect most of us have, especially as working women and mothers with so much on our plates day in and day out. Especially as the blatant lack of infrastructure supporting working women and moms often leaves us depleted…Especially as the various and oh so unfair biases affecting us, from gender stereotypes to the glass ceiling and concrete wall, leave us wanting for more fullness in our careers and businesses… These are also some of the issues I’m grappling with in my new book “More: The Journey to Unleash More of Who You Are”.
How can, and do we unleash more of who we are as working women and moms despite the obstacles facing us in and outside of work? There are 7 principles I discuss in the book as part of the conversation to answer this question:
Principle 1: Don’t miss your wake-up call wrapped as disruption
Unleashing more of who you are and what you want out of your career and life often requires you to step out of the very routine that is keeping you stuck. This often comes wrapped as unwelcome disruption at the seemingly most inconvenient times. Learning to recognize the wake-up calls wrapped as disruption is key to beginning and continuing the journey of unleashing more of who you are.
Principle 2: Begin with what you have and where you are
What keeps most of us stuck is the inability to even know where to begin in order to embark on a new journey. One of my favorite inspirational set of phrases from tennis legend Arthur Ashe is “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” To me, it speaks to the power of small change and consistent, resilient progress. In this sense, harnessing the incredible power of your unique individual stories, skills, talents, quirks, and everything that makes you YOU becomes your very unique greatness proposition and best competitive advantage.
Principle 3: Use your season of preparation through experience and release
In line with beginning where you are and using what you have, harnessing your past experience and re-purposing your skills, talents, and story is also key to unleashing your own MORE. This also requires letting go of the version of you that no longer exists to welcome the new, evolved version of who you are becoming. This is your season of preparation.
Principle 4: Managing progress
There’s a mindset to progress and growth. One that must stand strong in the face of the backlash women experience as they dare to rise. One that must learn to celebrate progress rather than shrink and hide. Ultimately, one that knows how to manage the ebb and flow of growth and evolution while still moving forward. This mindset is indispensable to managing the progress and growth that thankfully and inevitably come as you unleash MORE of who you are.
Principle 5: Handling your season of promotion
The very promotion you may yearn for may also be terrifying to you, as it is to many, if not most working women and mothers. While being aspired to and celebrated, women’s success is also threatening to the status quo, and often rewarded by harsh backlash. This is where dealing with the fear of success and re-defining success on your own terms can make a world of difference.
Principle 6: Daring to celebrate
For working women and moms, joy and celebration constitute resistance at each step of the process of becoming their best selves. Daring to celebrate, while cultivating and preserving your joy is an act of sheer resistance.
Principle 7: Focusing on the process, not the destination
Last but not least, focusing on the process and not the destination through continuous improvement is essential. At the end of the day, it’s a marathon and not a race.
All in all, unleashing more of who you are as you get closer and closer to the fullness of who you were created to be, is a gift often wrapped in disruption and requiring a challenging, albeit rewarding, process of growth and evolution. This is a necessary and brave journey of un-becoming much of the negative and damaging stereotypes women were taught and socialized into, and instead becoming all you were meant to be.
Someone once said, in order to remove the dirt and unwanted substances from a rug, you have to shake it. So it is of society. It often takes a hard shake to first uncover, and then remove the deep inequities and inequalities plaguing our ways of life and work. To clean and refresh existing structures of domination and submission into more equitable places of humanity and growth. Just like we’d clean out a closet filled with antiquated, ill-fitting clothes and shoes no longer belonging to the times and spaces we live in.This year’s Spring cleaning is no exception. Except it’s like no other for working women and moms at this juncture of history and time.
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought on more than a global health, economic, and political crisis. It has stirred more than a “Great Resignation” movement for businesses, organizations and individuals. Rather, what it has ushered with its great wind of change, shock and dismay, is a great reckoning of the urgent need for a serious refresh of the world of work, especially as it relates to and concerns women and mothers. The reality is, this crisis has been the ultimate straw that broke the camel’s back in the long, sadly still unresolved saga of deep inequities between men and women both on the work and home front. And now it’s time for a good, deep, hard, honest Spring cleaning…
Every year, and also through every milestone, upheaval, or change, I shed a part of my closet that is no longer “me”, no longer adapted to my passionate, busy, imperfect life of woman, working mom, wife, friend, sister, and whatever other hat I, like so many others, wear…As I get closer and closer to the most authentic version of myself, shedding layers of social conditioning, false knowledge, and inadequate influences, as well as reflecting and taking on fashion that literally “suits” me best, my closet is but one of the reflections of the changes occurring on the inside. A mirror to the evolution of a person, a woman, a mother, a sister, a friend, a human…Now this may sound shallow to some…until we all start considering how we’ve replaced polished, uncomfortable work slacks and skirts, with elastic waist sweatpants, albeit hiding under Zoom-ready, professional-looking tops…Or how the fashion industry has been reflecting the world’s crisis through an increased focus on sustainability, comfort, and powerful diversity, equity and inclusion statements on racial justice, voting rights, and female solidarity, to cite a few… I rest my case…
Like many of our ever “transitioning” closets, the world of work, and society at large, has been ill-fitting for working women and mothers for the longest time. While it has been shedding very few of its inadequacies, inequities and inequalities over time, there is still much work to be done. As the pandemic swiftly, violently, irrevocably pulled and shook the rug from under what has been an antiquated society, in terms of gender equity and inequality for quite some time, it has also created a precious opportunity for much-needed change. Yes, research says COVID-19 has sent women’s progress back at least a decade. Millions of women have, and still are, exiting the workforce in droves, fueled by lack of childcare, burnout, and a painful re-evaluation of their values. That, and other similarly hard to fathom facts, are true…Yet, two things can be true at once. While the pandemic has certainly set women and mothers back, it has also brought about the Spring cleaning we all needed, and the beginning of a crucial conversation and work towards gender equity and equality. This has also spurred many “firsts” that, although long overdue, we must acknowledge, celebrate and keep the momentum of going, including the first female head of the World Trade Organization Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, the youngest U.S. inaugural poet Amanda Gorman, the first woman of Asian descent to win the best Director Award Chloe Zao, as we await the confirmation of the first Black woman U.S. Supreme Court Justice, among other historical wins…
At the end , it really starts with the realization that some things have changed, yet will need to further change, including:
The world of work as we know it, was not built for women
However, as society shifts through shake-ups like the COVID-19 pandemic, these inequities and gaps are made more blatant and more urgent to solve. No longer can we pretend that all is well in the world of work when gender biases are being so painfully and visibly exposed through the cracks of unavoidable change and disruption.
So it’s time to re-imagine and create a working world that includes women’s values, lifestyles and priorities.
Change and disruption are not only forcing us to stop, whether out of necessity, survival, exhaustion or burnout. They’re also pushing us against the wall of our own denial of a gender-biased reality that has existed for too long, and can no longer go on as such. In a progressively hybrid working world fashioned by the necessary appeal of flexibility, the urgency of affordable and available childcare, and most importantly the prevailing of true humanity for all, the patriarchal, antiquated norms of the past no longer have a place. Instead, they are to be replaced with the authentic, full, human values of individuals, including working women and mothers. The same values, such as equity of time, labor and pay, that have been overlooked and ignored for far too long…
Truth is, the 9-to-5 grueling rat race, the limiting (and limited) maternity leave and maternal wall bias, all the way up to the corporate ladder, were created as hurdles and limitations for working women and mothers in a world designed for men. As such, it’s high time to re-imagine and finally create a working world including women’s time, priorities and values. A working world where women do not have to choose between motherhood and career, apologize for the flexibility to be their entire selves, or abdicate purpose at the altar of servitude.
It’s time for women to re-evaluate and re-invent themselves
In the same way, as organizations, businesses, companies and society as a whole are called upon to re-imagine their foundations and structures, working women and mothers are also called upon to re-invent theirs. And this time around, to do so with the bold authenticity, the daring truth, the unapologetic presence they were not at liberty to exhibit in times past.
There is a portal, albeit a risky and precarious one, that just opened, by virtue of a global health, political and economic crisis, that is lifting the curtain to reveal a fairer, more equitable, other side to work and life. And we must be willing and daring to cross the threshold of our conditioning and old mindsets, and do the work to get to the other side…
