The email was the last straw. How could Elaine vouch on the entire project without checking with her first? This just violated all the rules of group collaboration ever…and all the friendship rules as well. It was one thing to be familiar with each other outside the office doors. But in here, they were co-workers, and work came first…Or did it?
The situation between Aisha and Elaine is one too familiar scenario between friends who also happen to be co-workers. Dealing with the stress of work and the demands of collaboration at work is difficult enough. When you add to it the pressures of maintaining a friendship, it becomes close to impossible at times.
Have you ever worked with someone you first met and bonded with as a friend? And have you ever teetered the line between effective, successful work collaboration and healthy friendship in the workplace? It’s like dancing on a thin elastic rope, with your brain on one side and your feelings on the other, and a huge stack of to-do’s right in the middle. Not the most comfortable place to be…
Managing friends at work is becoming an increasingly common scenario, especially as the advent of social media and personal, multi-level connections is making many use their friendship connections to land jobs in a still hesitant job market. It’s then becoming crucial to learn to navigate the sometimes tumultuous waters of professional and personal relationships, without losing one’s mind or relationships…
- Set clear ground rules and boundaries. All relationships need ground rules. Complex relationships, including those where you work closely with a friend, demand even clearer and more effective ones. Have a conversation with your friend as to what is acceptable and what is not in your relationship. I’ve had to have one of those awkward at first conversations with a friend I used to work with. We decided that at work, we would strive as much as possible to keep things professional, and save the personal aspect of our friendship for those times outside of the office. While it was challenging at first, it helped us be more productive and successful together, while still remaining friends.
- Leverage your friendships. It may sound counter-intuitive to suggest that we should use the personal aspect of our relationships and friendships at work. While defining clear ground rules and boundaries is essential to a healthy and productive work relationship between friends, negating the friendship and what we know about the person only hinders progress. Most likely, you know this person, their strengths, qualities, and ahem…weaknesses and sensitive points. And it’s actually an advantage as compared to random work relationships in which you have to learn to know your co-workers and teams over time. Use what you know about your friend and co-worker to maximize your relationship at work, while still respecting the already established guidelines.
- Maintain your independence. One of the challenges many, if not most, encounter when working with friends, can be summed up in one word: space. You feel like you should spend all your breaks, lunches or work-related happy hours with your friend at work. Which in turn prevents you from enlarging your network and fostering your own growth. It’s ok to go out to lunch with other co-workers, or hang out with a different team, so you can learn more and in turn have more to offer in your own work and relationships.
Have you ever experienced working with a friend? What other tips would you offer?
Love,
The Corporate Sis.
