How to work with a control freak – Photo credit: human capitalist.com

We’ve all been there, at some point or another, working for or reporting to a control freak. These are the people who live to micro-manage us, or in other words drive us bonkers from repeating the same instructions in three different ways in the same sentence, constantly watching over our shoulders and bombarding us with the same repetitive and unproductive questions…

I’ve dealt with my share of control freaks at work. And one of the reasons I have is because, as a perfectionist-in-progress, I can relate. Controllers try to dictate what everyone else is supposed to do, be and/or feel. In their eyes, their opinion is always the only valid one, especially since they have an opinion about anything and everything. “You should format your presentation this way”, or ” I’ll tell you how to tackle this project”, or even “I’ll show you the right way to do this”.

So much so that control freaks tend to do the job themselves, because after all, they could do it best. When faced with the overly critical, to the point of being judgmental, responses of controlling personalities at work, there a few effective ways to cope, and even improve the situation:

1. Maintain a reasonable, yet effective, distance! For control freaks at work, everything is priority! Hence the heightened sense of urgency experienced around these types of personalities at work. To protect yourself from internalizing the resulting borderline aggressive mood, keep a professional distance that will keep you calm and centered….even in the midst of the “control” storm!

2. Watch your response! Remember controlling personalities derive an emotional “high” out of your own heightened reactions! So instead of reacting and showing emotional agitation, nervousness or defensiveness, carefully listen, and come back with relevant questions. Showing you’ve heard them and that you’re focused on solving problems instead of escalating them will disarm them! And if that doesn’t work, confront them about their behavior in a calm yet firm manner: “Thank you for your suggestions, yet I’d like to express mine as well”.

3. Show compassion! Compassion may be the last thing you may want to show a control freak obsessing over your grammar, I know! Yet keep in mind that for all their polish and perfectionism, control freaks are internally afraid! Afraid to appear incompetent, flawed or even worse, vulnerable! So as much as you may want to throw a sharp object at them, be firm yet show compassion and understanding! Every person is fighting their own battles….

Have you ever worked with a control freak? How did you cope?

The Corporate Sis.