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Happy Wednesday!
I’m an unapologetic perfectionist. Whenever I received a bad grade in school, I would cry, pout and ultimately deflect the blame on something or someone else. Fast forward a few years, I still cry and pout at a not-so-good work review, except I don’t like to smear my mascara so instead I tend to focus more on deflecting the blame on circumstances, people or lack of chocolate. And it’s something I’m not proud of, and am learning to do away with…but chocolate and self-victimization are hard addictions to break…
In the midst of all the talks about gender parity at work, and women’s rights in general, it may seem women are labeled as victims in the workplace from the start. And considering the difficulties and pressures faced by many a woman in the workplace, it would be easy for us to play the victim card at work. After all, the professional obstacles we face are unique, considering the pressures of family, children and work both traditionally and in modern society. Folding our hands and blaming our declining performance on circumstances, a bad boss or a toxic, unsupportive environment at work wouldn’t exactly be such a stretch of the unfortunate and difficult reality….
Yet, as many of us have learned, it only offers a temporary fix to a permanent problem. Very often, whining and moaning behind people’s backs, responding with procrastination and disguised humor as a way to perpetuate this constant victim’s mentality only brings our performance and the way we’re perceived further down. Instead, there are ways to reframe our victim mentalities into a proactive, effective way to address challenges at work:
1. Learn to say no! People who perceive themselves as victims tend to also be people pleasers. As women, many of us were raised to conform to certain societal expectations, and whether directly or indirectly, please others. While we may be able to wage the toughest life battles, the simple act of saying NO may seem insurmountable. I know it seems so to me in many a situation, but it’s slowly becoming one of my favorite words…
2. Buy yourself some time and space! Understanding and dealing with a difficult situation at work in an effective manner requires time and space. To avoid the temptation to deflect blame and falling into the victim trap, step away, take the time and space to rethink the situation and come up with solutions, rather than blame…
3.Use the power of Choice! Whenever possible, get ahead of negative situations by choosing the outcome! Decide that you’ll be prepared enough, assertive enough to successfully complete a project. Choose to set your own successful terms and boundaries, at work and in life.
The Corporate Sis.
