The story was repeating itself…It was only the third day back to school after the New Year, and the kids had missed the morning school bus…Again…The morning tension was at its usual peak, what with breakfasts barely eaten, work schedules now thrown off, and moods in need of a serious overhaul, all before 7am…At this point, with one teenager, one almost-teen, an unruly dog, and about ten loads of laundry in tow, I felt our family was in need of more than the usual New Year resolutions and goals. We needed something stronger, better, some sort of a purpose or mission that would create a shift in this season of our family…This is where our journey to build a family mission statement began…
As a working mom, the New Year rarely feels like a fresh, clean slate. After all, last year’s laundry is still lingering in the dryer, glitter from the Christmas gifts’ overpriced wrapping paper is still littering the dirty floors, and no one is checking the bank account balance until things somewhat settle…With each passing year as a mom, family resolutions become increasingly obsolete, slowly replaced by the hurried frenzy of the first days back at work and in school…Each year, as I stare at the sheer immensity of Motherhood, I keep asking myself: “So…where do I begin?”
Have you ever thought of building your own family’s mission statement? Have you ever looked at your closest loved ones, and wondered as you were picking up dirty socks off the floor, if there could be a sense of a common mission among you? I know I have, in between two loads of laundry, grading mid-term papers and emptying the dishwasher…
If like me, you and your family are in the process of building your family’s mission statement, these 3 steps may help:
- Clarify your vision of your family
How do you envision your family and family life? If you were to close your eyes and picture your idea of what your family would be like, what do you see?
Too often, we don’t have a clear idea, or any idea at all, of our vision for our family. Neither do we talk about it. Growing up in Senegal, West Africa, in a single parent home, there was no time even to begin to think about having a vision for our family. How was that going to help with anything?
Fast-forward a few decades in my own family, as an African immigrant in America, stuck in between the reality of American families and the history of African families. To say there was confusion was an understatement…Clearing this confusion required coming up with a clear vision for our family, not just for me, but for each and every one of us.
- Define (or redefine) your values and principles as a family.
What are your family’s values and principles? What’s important to you as a family? What are you and your family members passionate about? What do you love to do together? When are you and your family members at your best, or at your worst? In what ways can you help better others in the family, and vice-versa? How do you want to be perceived as a family?
Defining or re-defining your values and principles as a family can help put everyone on the same wavelength, especially when it feels like everyone in the family has been speaking a different language. It’s especially powerful when children and young adults express their values and principles for the family, as they may not often get the opportunity to do so.
- Reflect on your family’s impact
What contributions would you want to make as a family? What impact are you envisioning your family making on others? What have you been struggling to achieve as a family?
Reflecting on your contributions, achievements and desired impact as a family can help explore the goals ahead of you. Not just any goals, but rather the goals aligned with the unique vision, values and principles for your own unique family.
I don’t know about you, but my family is on a mission. We’re not a perfect family, nor do we aspire to be. Yet, in the midst of the imperfect, beautiful chaos that is our life, we’re striving to share a common mission and purpose we can walk towards.
What is your family’s mission statement?
The Corporate Sister.
